Policy for when there are issues with posters?

[girlysprite]

The worst thing about trolls, paired with the fact that they play the emotional strings, is that they make it harder for others to be taken seriously. Sometimes loads of bad things happen to people within a short timespan. Now some of them might be afraid to share it all, afraid that it will come across as fake.

[squashedfrog]

whoa, I've seriously missed a thread or something, Kinseyanne and NEW were trolls? 

Could someone PM me a link if thats OK by admin?  If not no worries. 

One thing that always struck me on here was that I thought it was a pretty troll free zone, I used to go on the wedding and some hobby ones that you couldn't swing a billy-goat in without hitting a troll, I really must not have been paying attention ;(

[blue2000]

I found the thread where I asked a medical forum about NEW. I know it's the internet but personally I believed their take on it and thought that Aura's interpretation was probably in the ballpark of the truth.

http://crass-pollination-forum.2287843.n4.nabble.com/Malingerer-td3412394.html

Ouch!

I know people IRL that could fit some of those descriptions (other than having twins) and they are not lying. But then, there is no way they would post much of this online, either - they don't like discussing it, and they know people don't always believe this stuff. So it is the trolls that win this one. Kind of a bad situation all around.

[Poirot]

This issue has brought up a related one for me, specifically, and I wonder if you guys could offer me some tips and/or perspective on it.

I have had several very dramatic things going on in my life in recent months. Both I and my oldest son are ill, a family member is a victim of abuse, I am having trouble with my partner, etc. I occasionally change minor details for privacy's sake, but never essentials.

How do I avoid looking like an attention seeking troll? Do I stop posting? Offer more personal info? Develop more PM/RL friendships with ehellions?

I receive so much love and support here that I would hate to lose it. I am much more hesitant to share such personal stuff with people who know me in real life, and I am very wary of gossip (or worse, pity) in RL.

Just once (months ago) I received a slightly accusatory email from a poster who I haven't seen in awhile, along the lines of "really?" after a post I had made where someone had attempted to steal my wallet. It makes me wonder if I am inadvertently looking like a troll.

Ideas?

[Yvaine]

There was another poster here a while ago (I think her name was Cherryripe) who I assumed was a troll, but gee her threads were entertaining, I had no "evidence" and eventually she blew herself up, I'm sure the mods were on to it faster than I was.

I never thought CherryRipe was a troll; just very self-centered and rigid in her outlook and unwilling or unable to be very empathetic or flexible.  Also her lack of etiquette was rather glaring.

I was thinking pretty much the same thing, iridaceae. I assumed that she got banned because she didn't listen to anything anyone said, which drove other posters nuts, to the point that she was just an annoyance rather than an asset.

IIRC, when she was banned, she was in the middle of threadjacking someone else's thread for about 10 pages to complain about people being inconsiderate about her vegetarianism, and resisting any effort to haul the thread back onto the rails.

[Wavicle]

I will go ahead and post the link to kinseyanne's tread where she was called out considering she has been named several times anyways and Tricia reffered to it, sorry for not doing it earlier. I am unsure if it was locked because of lies, or because of the way she was being called out (or both).

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=99872.0

I remember her thread about losing th ebaby being locked, and I had assumed it was because of medical advice even though I was aware that she had a lot of OTT stories. I had assumed it wasn't lying because she was not banned, and other posts were allowed to stand as they went up.

I was suspicious of both, but did not know that they were trolls. Like I said, I give support because someone else may benefit and I figure as long as I am not too invested if I get burned once or twice it is worth it to be nice to everyone I am moved to on this board for whatever reason.

[iridaceae]

There was another poster here a while ago (I think her name was Cherryripe) who I assumed was a troll, but gee her threads were entertaining, I had no "evidence" and eventually she blew herself up, I'm sure the mods were on to it faster than I was.

I never thought CherryRipe was a troll; just very self-centered and rigid in her outlook and unwilling or unable to be very empathetic or flexible.  Also her lack of etiquette was rather glaring.

I was thinking pretty much the same thing, iridaceae. I assumed that she got banned because she didn't listen to anything anyone said, which drove other posters nuts, to the point that she was just an annoyance rather than an asset.

IIRC, when she was banned, she was in the middle of threadjacking someone else's thread for about 10 pages to complain about people being inconsiderate about her vegetarianism, and resisting any effort to haul the thread back onto the rails.

I remember she was being very rude about a fellow international student whom she did not like and felt, therefore, that no one else should like student either and that was the day before she banned.

[Shoo]

Re:  Kinseyanne.  Just because her thread got locked doesn't mean she is a troll.  She has not been banned and is still active on the forum (though not posting, but I'd be leery of posting, too, if I were accused of what she's being accused of).

I've not seen anything from a moderator regarding this poster in particular.  Can anyone offer proof of what is being stated here?

[flo]

I found the thread where I asked a medical forum about NEW. I know it's the internet but personally I believed their take on it and thought that Aura's interpretation was probably in the ballpark of the truth.

http://crass-pollination-forum.2287843.n4.nabble.com/Malingerer-td3412394.html

Interesting LadyL!  You didn't mention her food allergies and rare heart condition, that I believe required surgery or multiple surgeries!

[Outdoor Girl]

Poirot, I think the easiest way to not look like a troll is to tell as much of the truth as you can and to stick to true timelines.  Try not to change the obscuring detail from one post to the next.  Like if you are changing the relationship of an Aunt to your cousin, the next post should still talk about your cousin.

The biggest flag, though, is timelines so if you are sticking to an accurate timeline, it won't raise any flags.

From the website Lady L posted, I have to say, I'm more than a little offended by some of the postings.  I have fibromyalgia.  I am not a malingerer; it is not all in my head.  People who know other people with fibro are surprised I work full time, garden, ski, play softball, etc.  Sure, I have bad days but I'm too dang stubborn to sit back and not do anything.

[elephantschild]

This issue has brought up a related one for me, specifically, and I wonder if you guys could offer me some tips and/or perspective on it.

I have had several very dramatic things going on in my life in recent months. Both I and my oldest son are ill, a family member is a victim of abuse, I am having trouble with my partner, etc. I occasionally change minor details for privacy's sake, but never essentials.

How do I avoid looking like an attention seeking troll? Do I stop posting? Offer more personal info? Develop more PM/RL friendships with ehellions?

I receive so much love and support here that I would hate to lose it. I am much more hesitant to share such personal stuff with people who know me in real life, and I am very wary of gossip (or worse, pity) in RL.

Just once (months ago) I received a slightly accusatory email from a poster who I haven't seen in awhile, along the lines of "really?" after a post I had made where someone had attempted to steal my wallet. It makes me wonder if I am inadvertently looking like a troll.

Ideas?

I can only speak for myself, but, Poirot, I wouldn't change anything.

My BS meter got set off by both the PP mentioned. But ... how can I say this? ... there's a difference between attention-seeking posters and those simply needing support.  I'm having a hard time putting my finger on it, but I think many of us see it. A certain ... realism? grit? .. that trolls just can't achieve.

(Heh. My life revolves around words and I'm having a hard time coming up with them here. Can anyone else do better?)

[flo]

I will go ahead and post the link to kinseyanne's tread where she was called out considering she has been named several times anyways and Tricia reffered to it, sorry for not doing it earlier. I am unsure if it was locked because of lies, or because of the way she was being called out (or both).

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=99872.0

I remember her thread about losing th ebaby being locked, and I had assumed it was because of medical advice even though I was aware that she had a lot of OTT stories. I had assumed it wasn't lying because she was not banned, and other posts were allowed to stand as they went up.

I was suspicious of both, but did not know that they were trolls. Like I said, I give support because someone else may benefit and I figure as long as I am not too invested if I get burned once or twice it is worth it to be nice to everyone I am moved to on this board for whatever reason.

OK, post 54 is very interesting in that thread! 

[ShadesOfGrey]

This is going back a few pages, but I wanted to say that while I understand the impulse to want to protect members of the community (and I've sent a few  "I think she's a troll" PM's myself when I've seen someone seemingly over-drawn into a drama, as suggested by a mod), I do think we each have a responsibility ourselves not to get sucked in - this is, afterall, an anonymous internet board at the end of the day. 

If you havent met the person in real life, done some googling on their blog/email/etc., known them for a very long time, you really shouldnt be donating money you're not willing to lose, or investing emotionally to an extent that it will sour your time on the forum, imo.  As the saying goes - "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

I think a few well-phrased "OP, you said this on Y date, and that on X date - can you clarify?", a report to the mods, and some thoughtful PMs are all really great tools to deal with the not-so-obvious trolls. 

[LadyL]

Outdoorgirl - fibro is one of the easiest diseases to fake and many drug seekers fake it to get pills. A lot of medical forums refer to this stereotype as a sort of shorthand. But it's more that acting like a SS AND claiming to have fibro raises suspicion. Someone as active as you are is taken as much more credible usually. It's the patients who refuse to exercise/modify lifestyle, only want narcotic pain relievers, and are PITA drama queens who get the "oh yeah, SURE you have fibro" attitude.

[Merry Mrs Martin]

   For me one of the things that gets my Troll meter going is when unrelated groups of people in a poster's life have the same "nut ball" button.  I can believe your mother and her sisters all have the same basic issues. If you parents are toxic your spouse is toxic and you chose toxic friends(since toxic is normally to you , why wouldn't your friends be toxic) but when you're  neighbros , cashiers , coworkers , people you met in line are toxic about the same issues ,I'm suspicious; When you seem to live in a town Stephen King created to give Emily Post nightmares, then I start to think it's you.

I'm also a little suspicious when a approaching toxic, blunt, forceful ,rude and pushy person(in a variety of ways, about a varity of things) makes a total reversal to respectful and polite without conversation or with just a single phrase uttered once.

I don't notcie post counts too much unless it's someone first few posts and it's way way out there.  ie  I had a party some damage was done to my home a person  intetional started in the livingroom , spray painted on the walls ,  peed on the couch  while saying "F your stuip couch you #$%&" and kicked my dog, he also aet all the chips. The house has been repaired and my husband want to invite this person back (husband wiould have to go pick him up as he doesn't have a car it's a 400 mile drice) I think people deserve second chances but I'm not sure if I want this person back in my home, how can I politely tell my husband not to go pick him up or tell friend if he does come not to eat all the chips?