Author Topic: Policy for when there are issues with posters?  (Read 43849 times)

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kareng57

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #75 on: August 11, 2011, 12:17:12 AM »
I must be super clueless, because I had no clue that either of the posters that were banned recently were lying.

I just like to assume that everyone is telling the truth. Its for the same reason that I like to believe that every person on the street corner that has asked me for money really needs it.

I am super clueless too, then, because I had no idea either.  And I'm here every day!

I'm generally pretty clueless, but NEW's stories and posts read like a Lifetime Movie. I know people really do have a lot of crazy things happen, but the timelines were off and everything was SO dramatic.


That's what's hard.  Sometimes truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

Personally I don't have the technology (and if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with it!) to see if posters are multi-posting their strange stories on other message boards.  That of course can be a red-flag.

kareng57

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #76 on: August 11, 2011, 12:17:20 AM »
I must be super clueless, because I had no clue that either of the posters that were banned recently were lying.

I just like to assume that everyone is telling the truth. Its for the same reason that I like to believe that every person on the street corner that has asked me for money really needs it.

I am super clueless too, then, because I had no idea either.  And I'm here every day!

I'm generally pretty clueless, but NEW's stories and posts read like a Lifetime Movie. I know people really do have a lot of crazy things happen, but the timelines were off and everything was SO dramatic.

kareng57

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #77 on: August 11, 2011, 12:24:44 AM »
In other words, feeding this particular kind of troll would actually be continuing to give understanding and sympathetic advice--that's the "food" they seem to want most.  Once someone expresses their concerns publicly, I'd think this sort of troll would be much more likely to move on because few people would believe their stories and offer sympathy any more.

Good point, which is why I think a private message "Heads up" to posters getting overly involved and giving lots of attention to the troll can be a way to diffuse the situation. If it's done quietly in private messages, people just stop responding to the trolls post and eventually they get bored and go away.


Hmm - I understand your response, mods make the rules and overall this is a very civilised boards....

But at the same time, I'm not convinced that PM messages only are the way to go.  That's not to say that I think posters here ought to freely posting "your story smells big-time, come off it".  However, I like the strategy of "okay, on Monday you said this, then on Tuesday you said that, now today you're saying something completely different.......some of us are having trouble undersanding" - that kind of thing.  If the poster decides to reply at all (quite possibly she won't) it will likely be riddled with even more inconsistencies, and she's in-effect outed herself.

Miss Charlotte

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #78 on: August 11, 2011, 12:26:37 AM »
Oh dear. I had no clue about NEW and now feel simultaneously really sad and annoyed. Like a PP, I read most everything but don't always post, so I've never gotten any head's up PMs. This is the only forum I'm on, and I am apparently way too gullible  :-\
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MsMarjorie

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #79 on: August 11, 2011, 12:33:18 AM »
Perhaps we should start a thread in the E-hell guide to never behaving badly folder of polite ways to out a suspicious poster  :)
We could have questions to ask and polite ways to ask them, ways to bring up other thread comparisons and asking for more details and other clever questions that better people than I can think of.

Tai

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #80 on: August 11, 2011, 12:33:36 AM »
I've had more than my share of drama recently- a friend of mine joked that he would NEVER go see a movie made of the last couple years- since nobody would believe it.  However, the vast majority of stuff I haven't posted- I'm ticked enough that it happened in the first place, and I don't want to rehash it, KWIM?  Which is why I personally get the spideysenses tingling when there seems to be a pattern of super-quick posting. 

OTOH, I am very guilty of leaving out details, genderbending on occasion, changing the cake from chocolate to carrot, for the sake of anonymity and hoping I don't get "found".  I mean, I have been "reverse found" by ehellions in the past, but so far so good on RL people "finding" me here, if that makes sense. 


McCutieBelle

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #81 on: August 11, 2011, 12:35:21 AM »
Don't feel so bad, I feel like some of the drama I have been through this past year or so seems very odd at times, sometimes truth IS stranger then fiction.
"Life's like an hour glass glued to the table and no one can find the rewind button boy. So cradle your head in your hands and breathe"

Spoder

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #82 on: August 11, 2011, 12:41:30 AM »
I stopped believing NEW, and the most recent troll, some time before they were 'outed'. I just really didn't know what to do about it, so I backed away from their threads.

Besides glaring inconsistencies, the biggest red flags for trolls, I think, are the fact that they always seem to post about 'hot button' topics. For example: MILs overstepping boundaries, people trying to 'test' their allergies, outrageous registries, pregnancy dramas, and anything that sends a person into 'mama bear' (ugh) mode.

Another thing is, they always act incredibly graciously and stoically in any given situation. Even ones where a real person would have long since stopped posting on eHell about it, and sought professional or legal advice.

Oh, and then there's the timeline thing, and the 'my entire life is a drama but I bounce back amazingly quickly' element.  ::)

The tricky thing, of course, is what to do about it. It does make me cringe to see people being taken in, but I never want to say anything because I have that 1% of doubt. Also because we may never know the truth, and I don't want to start an angry backlash against myself if I PM someone saying, 'hey, do you think so-and-so is a bit suss?' and *they* think I'm just being nasty and suspicious, KWIM?
This thread is, therefore, very enlightening.

Ligeia

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #83 on: August 11, 2011, 12:53:13 AM »
OTOH, I am very guilty of leaving out details, genderbending on occasion, changing the cake from chocolate to carrot, for the sake of anonymity and hoping I don't get "found".  I mean, I have been "reverse found" by ehellions in the past, but so far so good on RL people "finding" me here, if that makes sense.

That's the other thing--while I was 99% sure NEW was making it all up, I'm still not sure whether it's a fact that the poster who inspired this thread is a troll and/or the same person as NEW.  Apparently lots of other posters were suspicious, but is there any concrete proof besides some inconsistency and drama?  I think it's acceptable to change some details for anonymity's sake--so what if a poster gets called out when she/he is only doing that?  But note: I'm not doubting anyone about their suspicions on this one; I guess I'm just curious, because I never had suspicions there.  Then again, I don't think I ever read many of her posts.

So I do think the mods have their hands tied; if they say it's totally fine to call shenanigans within threads, it could turn ugly, with posters taking sides and the OP going away really hurt if the suspicions are actually unfounded. 

Still, I'd like to know--especially since, with NEW, I apparently very stupidly thought I and one other poster were the only suspicious ones!

ETA:
Quote
The tricky thing, of course, is what to do about it. It does make me cringe to see people being taken in, but I never want to say anything because I have that 1% of doubt. Also because we may never know the truth, and I don't want to start an angry backlash against myself if I PM someone saying, 'hey, do you think so-and-so is a bit suss?' and *they* think I'm just being nasty and suspicious, KWIM?

Exactly!  I was absolutely sure I'd be flamed if I said anything about NEW; people seemed to care about her that much. 

Another edit: Just so no one thinks I'm a real idiot, I'd like to say that I just reread Kinseyanne's locked thread--and wow, does that whole thing sound made up.  Nevermind.    :)
« Last Edit: August 11, 2011, 02:21:59 AM by Ligeia »

Spoder

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #84 on: August 11, 2011, 01:00:26 AM »
Still, I'd like to know--especially since, as with NEW, I apparently very stupidly thought I and one other poster were the only suspicious ones!

And I thought it was only me!

Part of the problem is that trolls manage to drum up a lot of sympathy/empathy. They often post about highly emotive situations. The NEW drama was a prime example - because of the nature of her claims (chronic illness, childhood assault victim, adult sexual assault victim, the list goes on - which was part of her downfall, in the end), it was very hard to question her without looking like a judgmental monster.

Of course, there is also the possibility that there is a grain of truth in among the lies, and nobody wants to call someone out for the wrong thing.

Ligeia

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #85 on: August 11, 2011, 01:07:54 AM »
Part of the problem is that trolls manage to drum up a lot of sympathy/empathy. They often post about highly emotive situations. The NEW drama was a prime example - because of the nature of her claims (chronic illness, childhood assault victim, adult sexual assault victim, the list goes on - which was part of her downfall, in the end), it was very hard to question her without looking like a judgmental monster.

Yeah--and the other thing that occurred to me after I reported her is that she must have some sort of psychological issue related to rape and pregnancy, and that's sad in itself.  Something very well could have happened to her along these lines, and if getting people to write supportive stuff to her online is helpful in some way, who am I to be a tattletale?  As long as people aren't sending her money or taking time out of their lives . . .  And if NEW and KA are one and the same, that's even stronger proof that she has some serious issues with pregnancy.

Then again, I understand the argument that the emotional investment some posters put into each other is as costly as anything else.  That's why NEW bothered me so much; she was exploiting so many deeply personal and troubling issues, and getting posters to talk about their own.

MsMarjorie

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #86 on: August 11, 2011, 01:17:52 AM »
I always worry more about calling out a poster when they have a high post count like NEW (just think of the time & energy that went into trolling there!) and she did give some good and well researched advice, if only she used her brain for good instead of evil, anyway I digress...  The high post count really puts me off and makes me doubt myself so I usually don't say anything, I just disengage from those posters threads.

There was another poster here a while ago (I think her name was Cherryripe) who I assumed was a troll, but gee her threads were entertaining, I had no "evidence" and eventually she blew herself up, I'm sure the mods were on to it faster than I was.

bansidhe

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #87 on: August 11, 2011, 02:05:02 AM »
I stopped believing NEW, and the most recent troll, some time before they were 'outed'. I just really didn't know what to do about it, so I backed away from their threads.

I must have missed NEW's posts, but I was very suspicious about the most recent offender. Like you, I had no clue what to do about it and backed away, hoping that eventually, the person would arouse the suspicions of more and more people.

This may be sad to say, but my suspicion meter is pegged the minute someone posts a "Someone's threatening/speaking ill of/discriminating against my baaaaaby" post - especially when there are a lot of posts along these lines from the same person. Seems like pregnancy drama is a frequent topic of choice for trolls.

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Chinchillazilla

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #88 on: August 11, 2011, 02:07:26 AM »
I always worry more about calling out a poster when they have a high post count like NEW (just think of the time & energy that went into trolling there!) and she did give some good and well researched advice, if only she used her brain for good instead of evil, anyway I digress...  The high post count really puts me off and makes me doubt myself so I usually don't say anything, I just disengage from those posters threads.

That's how I feel, too. I know it's not really how we do things, but I have this hierarchical mindset about post counts. I feel like people with more posts than me "outrank" me and will have more support. I feel like this on every forum, so it's nothing against anyone here. :P
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Yvaine

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Re: Policy for when there are issues with posters?
« Reply #89 on: August 11, 2011, 02:21:33 AM »

1) Everything seems to happen on a condensed timescale; they are posting faster than they should for things to happen naturally;


I think this is a really big one--because trolls post at the speed that keeps themselves interested in the "story" (and keeps others hooked on the updates), and sometimes lose track of how long things would usually take in reality.