Author Topic: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers  (Read 14540 times)

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Yvaine

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #15 on: August 28, 2011, 08:39:08 PM »
I think he and I bonded, in large part, over our shared twisted sense of humor. I wanted someone I could be goofy and silly with.  ;D

Oh, and this isn't a trait that convinced me, but was a telling symptom nonetheless. I knew I was in love when I came home one day to find that I had new books in my mailbox and a missed call from him--and I called him before I opened the books!

PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #16 on: August 28, 2011, 09:14:03 PM »
I think he and I bonded, in large part, over our shared twisted sense of humor. I wanted someone I could be goofy and silly with.  ;D

Oh, and this isn't a trait that convinced me, but was a telling symptom nonetheless. I knew I was in love when I came home one day to find that I had new books in my mailbox and a missed call from him--and I called him before I opened the books!

The bolded above was another big deal for me.  I have an odd sense of humor and most people take a little time to get that.  He got me right away, and shares the same sort of humor, which is a huge plus.

I'mnotinsane

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #17 on: August 28, 2011, 09:47:18 PM »
The first time DH visited my home we were sitting on the couch watching TV/talking and my cat jumped up in his lap.  She is very shy/skittish around strangers but she took to him right away.


dietcokeofevil

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #18 on: August 28, 2011, 09:54:22 PM »
On one of our first dates, he compared my humor to Dennis Miller.

Celany

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #19 on: August 28, 2011, 10:49:41 PM »
This is an interesting thread to me, because it's something I'm reevaluating right now.

Things that are dealmakers to me include being comfortable with (or willing to be open to) the more unorthodox parts of my life. A love of learning (not necessarily being bookish, but having a general mindset of enjoying discovering new information) and a love of cats are also a must.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine

jessikast

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #20 on: August 28, 2011, 11:25:32 PM »
I think absolutely EVERYTHING about my fiance is just spiffing (except the socks he leaves in the living room), but when I think back to when I was first getting to know him:

  • He makes me laugh, so much. I think this is one of the most attractive qualities a man can have.
  • He is really well-respescted by his peers. He is a tournament organiser for a collectible trading card game, which takes a lot of organisational skill and networking, and I really noticed the way that he would just talk to everyone, be encouraging, and the way that tons of these guys really respected and appreciated the work he did.
  • His DVD and book collection. The first day we met he invited me to his room to see his collection of action figures and figurines. (Etchings are SO old fashioned!)
  • Like other people have said about their dealmakers, I noticed how considerate he was. He does little things just-because, which absolutely thrills me.
  • He more than pulls his weight when it comes to housework and cooking!
« Last Edit: August 29, 2011, 07:36:40 PM by jessikast »

Shopaholic

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #21 on: August 29, 2011, 12:06:03 AM »
What I like about my DH:
- Kindness to animals, and extreme generosity towards their well-being. He doesn't blink twice at spending a lot of money and time on an animal in need.
- His motivation and drive
- I had a health scare, which I handled much better than my parents. They were freaking out, and stressing me out. He called them and told them to stop taking their fears out on me.

Miss March

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2011, 12:26:53 AM »
When he stopped the car and went to buy a glass of lemonade from some children we had driven past, that when I knew he was a keeper.  :)
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good bye so hard.-- Winnie the Poo

SheltieMom

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #23 on: August 29, 2011, 12:28:07 AM »
Shares my faith,
Is great with kids,
Loves animals,
Loves to read, although not necessarily the same things I do,
Was willing to move my children's book collection, several times!
Loves to cook, and is willing to do his share of the cooking and the cleaning up. In fact, before I retired from teaching, he usually had supper at least going, if not ready, by the time I got home. After a day of dealing with middle school kids, and a 45-60 minute drive home in heavy traffic, it was wonderful to come home and not have to cook,
Has a beautiful singing voice, especially worship songs, and is not ashamed to sing out,
Gave me a boxed set of "The Lord of the Rings" for HIS birthday the first year we were dating. I had never read them, and it started me reading SF for the first time.
One of the most important: He never, ever, criticizes me in public, or talks me down even to his friends. (And I show him the same respect!)
We'll celebrate our 35th anniversary in December.
If Timmy had had a Sheltie, he never would have fallen in that well!

Bluenomi

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2011, 01:30:05 AM »
On one of our first dates DH discovered I not only like the movie Spaceballs but own it. He told a friend who told him to marry me. DH agreed and a few years later he did  ;D

As for me DH is not a cat person but he tolerated my flatmate's cat who insisted on getting a cuddle whenever he visted. DH would give him one pat but that was his limit. He then let me get a cat when we bought our house (tohugh we were negaged by that stage) and now he adores are cat though he won't admit that to most people  ;)

purplemuse

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #25 on: August 29, 2011, 09:28:13 AM »
There are a lot of little things that added up, but the first big one was his willingness to make an effort. We met online, and were a great distance and one international border away from each other. My parents (who were understandably freaked out) insisted that he come to visit me before I went to see him, and that he stay in a hotel for the first couple days of the visit*. I kind of rolled my eyes at all of that, but Mr. Muse agreed to all the conditions my parents set.

He made a 26 hour bus trip to meet me in person for the first time. I'd never had anyone willing to make such an effort to get to know me before. Later, he moved several states away from his home so we could see if our relationship would work if we weren't long distance.

*I was in my 20's at the time, but still financially dependent on my parents (college...), and it was their house he was going to be staying in, so as far as our meeting, it was pretty much their way or the highway. In the end, I'm kind of glad they insisted on all that, because a) he really could have been a serial killer or something, and b) it helped me see what kind of a man he really is.

WillyNilly

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #26 on: August 29, 2011, 09:39:42 AM »
For me, a big thing was that my beau owns books.  I've dated guys who don't and it never works out.

And he'll try just about any food at least once and enjoys a variety of foods.

And he planned out our first few dates instead of just having a vague idea, defaulting to a bar or the worst "So what would you like to do?"  I can happily make plans - good plans - but I don't always want to be the one driving, that he showed early on he too can make good plans, it was dealmaker.

readingchick

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #27 on: August 29, 2011, 10:01:16 AM »
What I like about my SO:

*He cooks. Some of his specialties are scrambled eggs with sausage patties; turkey burgers (grilled on George); morel mushrooms.

*He's a dog person. Every pup he's met has taken to him.

*Our politics are very similar....and that's all I'll mention on that particular subject.  :)

*He's not afraid to stand up for what he knows is right.

*We share the same interests (both like to watch football, hockey and golf; love to go to festivals; northern Michigan is our fave getaway spot)

RingTailedLemur

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #28 on: August 29, 2011, 10:03:14 AM »
He promised to ring me, and did (the next day).

My cat loved him (she was a far better judge of character than I am).

He was open and honest - no silly games.

JoyinVirginia

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Re: Not the dealbreakers but the dealmakers
« Reply #29 on: August 29, 2011, 11:03:29 AM »
- He was raised in the same protestant denomination and his family had a lot of similarities to my extended family.
- He tipped well when we went out and was always polite to waitstaff and service people.
- I was working 3-11 shift when we first met and he worked 9-5, and he was willing to work with me and figure out schedules so we could date as much as possible.
- He liked sci-fi tv and movies.
- He liked video games.
- He had never seen a foreign movie or a movie with subtitles, and he willingly went with me to see "The Seven Samurai" by Akira Kurosawa, and actually liked it  a LOT! He liked to go to movies.
- He hates to dance and he took me out dancing because he knew I liked to dance.
- We were just as happy sitting around both reading books as we were going out to the movies or dinner or going to a party.
- He owned his own house, and was financially very responsible. Willing to spend money on fun things, and budgeted for fun stuff, but frugal and a careful shopper who rarely did any impulse spending.
- He didn't say "I love you" until he was sure he felt that way - I knew it meant a lot when he finally said it.
- He is honest and ethical all the time.