A Few 'Welcome' Thoughts

[amznprincess]

I came across an article recently that talked about how while 'please' and 'thank you' are still in general use 'you're welcome' is getting rare, and have noticed this myself - it's very common to see an exchange like the following:

Cashier: ...and, thank you for shopping at ____. ::hands over grocery bags:
Customer: No, thank you.

So, I started to think about what this shift means, and whether it's really a bad thing.  Often, it seems to be used to show an egalitarian mindset.  A cashier or other service person may be grateful for our business, but it's as valid to say we ought to be grateful to them for the service/help they've provided.  That perspective, if genuine, I can't condemn.  'Thank You' - 'You're Welcome' still has a place when there is a clear receiver and giver of some boon (such as a gift or an excellent letter of recommendation) but I think we may be right to reconsider the old script in other situations.

[Bijou]

That going back and forth about who should thank whom is really silly. 
I really detest that "No problem." has replaced "You're welcome." in the business world.  They assume I think I am troubling them by asking them to do their job...no....I expect them to do their job, which happens to be helping me!!  I am thanking them because I'm polite and appreciative, not because I think I am bothering them.  Guess this should go in pet peeves but it applies here, also.

[Lauren]

I think it depends on the situation. The example you've given is one where if the cashier got a "You're welcome" as a repsonse, she'd probably think the person was a wanker. Saying thank you back is the nice/polite thing to do.

Other situations, if I thank someone I don't want to be thanked back. A you're welcome, is all that's needed.

[sempronialou]

For me it depends on the situation.  If a person thanks me for doing or bring something or one of my patients thanks me for coming to see them that day (I work for a hospice), I say "you're welcome." If a cashier or sales person thanks me for shopping at their place of business, I tend to say "thank you for your help" or something to that effect. Usually they tell me to have a nice day, so I say "you too."

[amznprincess]

They assume I think I am troubling them by asking them to do their job...no....I expect them to do their job, which happens to be helping me!!

I'm a little unsure here as to whether the 'them' is coworkers or service people.  Still, I would point out that we thank people in many situations - such as passing the salt and pepper at a meal - where they have gone to no 'real' trouble for us, and couldn't be seen as bothering them (barring, say, having interrupted them or someone they're talking to to ask). 

[amznprincess]

For me it depends on the situation.  If a person thanks me for doing or bring something or one of my patients thanks me for coming to see them that day (I work for a hospice), I say "you're welcome." If a cashier or sales person thanks me for shopping at their place of business, I tend to say "thank you for your help" or something to that effect. Usually they tell me to have a nice day, so I say "you too."

This is almost exactly what I'm referring to.  In the first situation, you are almost unequivocally the 'giver' in the interaction, and 'you're welcome' is appropriate.  In the second, things are rather more gray.

[ZipTheWonder]

I see "No problem" as colloquial for "It was my pleasure."  I don't mind it as an alternative to "You're Welcome."   

I would, however, like to see a bit more training to service people on the use of "Thank You."  It is becoming less common, and I think that's a mistake.  I would say about 20% of transactions would be utterly silent if I didn't jump start them with "Hello," "Thanks," "Goodnight," etc.

[Bijou]

They assume I think I am troubling them by asking them to do their job...no....I expect them to do their job, which happens to be helping me!!

I'm a little unsure here as to whether the 'them' is coworkers or service people.  Still, I would point out that we thank people in many situations - such as passing the salt and pepper at a meal - where they have gone to no 'real' trouble for us, and couldn't be seen as bothering them (barring, say, having interrupted them or someone they're talking to to ask). 

The them in this case would be the person  who is waiting on me, such as a clerk or server, for example.  If I interupt someone and ask them a question or ask them, as you say, to pass the salt at a meal, 'no problem' is fine.  But as a substitute for "You're welcome", it just doesn't make sense to me.

[Rose2Bear]

I was once told at work to stop saying "You're welcome."  Seriously.  They said to say "thank YOU" instead.

Now its gotten extreme, where I end up saying thank you automatically for every stupid thing when I'm at work, such as when people cut in line to ask for free water and they thank you, then I go in auto mode and say thank YOU back, even though I am NOT thankful becasue really they just irritated me and slowed me down.  I think thats one scenario where I should try to break that habit....