A lot of my parenting philosophy has been "Never give away for free what you can sell." If it's important to him, it's on the table as a privilege he can earn....or lose.
Really? Does that even extend to things like Christmas, and your son's own birthday? I remember seeing an episode of "Malcolm in the Middle" where the boys misbehaved, and their mother decided to "hold Christmas hostage," and if the boys managed to behave until Christmas morning, there would *be* a Christmas morning, otherwise not. What ended up happening was, there was a ton of tension in the house, and the boys cracked in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, and broke into the garage and took all their presents, and then the parents woke up, felt badly, and they had Christmas then. But, all I'm saying is, I'd hate to grow up in an environment of constantly wondering, "Will I still get [insert positive thing here], or is that going to be contingent on whatever my mother decides?" Actually, a lot of my childhood *was* like that, for example, sometimes, I'd be allowed to go to the park or a friend's house if my parents were in a good mood, but not if they weren't, and often, behaviour never even factored into the picture.