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Issues with Posters/Veracity/Suspected Trolling

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NotTheNarcissist:
I am trying to do a little soul searching about ehell. This thread has me thinking. In the past I have tried to keep comments etiquette-centric unless the thread was like "never shopping there again" or other clearly non-etiquette related sub-forums. I deviated at times if I was having a bad day or a certain subject & hence my emotions got the better of me. However, generally speaking I have made a conscious effort to keep comments mostly etiquette-related.

So in light of this particular thread I am posting in now about various issues with recent posters ...I thought, ok, down to business, I will double my efforts to keep my responses etiquette-related, even loosely etiquette-related. Not strict, just loose.

So in the office sub-forum, I saw a thread, no questions were asked, it was someone relaying a negative experience in the office. No "how do i respond?" or "This person was rude, and I didn't handle it well. How could I handle this better next time?"

I agreed that the person was rude and asked simply is there an etiquette question? I was told "Agreed. There doesn't need to be an etiquette question. E-Hell is founded on the concept of relaying rude circumstances."

Now, i am confused, and sincerely from my heart I am asking for clarification & help to understand. Where is the line? Honestly, if people are coming here to vent their frustrations when there are vast numbers of forums better suited for counseling (& esp career advice).... well, I don't know how to react to that. Is it a true statement that "there doesn't need to be an etiquette question" and "relaying rude circumstances" is sufficient to post... ?

Truth be told, I am changing in that my very first post here relayed rude circumstances & I don't think I asked an etiquette question. The post is gone now, when I click "view posts" it is too old I guess.  If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I would have asked questions... "how to respond?" and so forth. That fact makes me think that some newcomers love to jump in but haven't formulated their expectations as to what they truly want from ehell so the first several posts may be rambling & venting.  Less about etiquette, more justifying their feelings. I am guilty of this like I mentioned.

Speaking of rambling, sorry, I didn't mean to.  I guess this means a lot to me. :-\ Bottom line question: Is it true there doesn't need to be an etiquette question per se? Relaying a historical story to prove how rude a person is is sufficient? If the answer is 'yes' is there a line?

TIA.

Moray:
I often wonder about the same thing, NotTheNarcissist. I think we do our best work, as a forum, when we're actually trying to give etiquette advice, but many threads lately do seem to be either seeking validation (sometimes with a one-upmanship element) or trying to deal with value judgements and/or family therapy rather than etiquette.

There's a place for the story sharing, but I understood it to be the Coffeebreak folder.

NyaChan:
Actually, I had the same response as you did to that thread.  Seemed like a vent to me, but then I figured the implied purpose was probably to have ehellions discuss the nature and extent of the rudeness, how the workers could have handled it, and to share stories of similar rudeness.  Still, it can be hard to tell the difference between actual vents and stories told to open up discussion when some topics are let go, but others aren't.

Lynn2000:
I think the rule is that the OP shouldn't purely be a vent/rant. However, I think you can present a situation for general discussion, with an implicit or explicit question of, "What do you guys think?" instead of the question needing to be, "Was I rude? How should I handle this situation in the future?"

For example, I was recently at a workshop in which a participant was extremely rude to the presenter. I thought she handled his rudeness well. I think it would be okay for me to start a thread about this situation here, with the discussion being along the lines of, "Did she really handle it well? Was he actually rude? Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and how did you handle it?" I myself was just a witness to the event, and have no intention of being in either "active" role in the future, so it would be silly for me to contort things and add, "Was I rude? What should I do if something similar happens to me someday in the distant future?"

Note that if everyone is in agreement with me--that the guy was rude, and the presenter handled it well--it might not be a very long or interesting thread. But I don't think another poster could legitimately tell me, "You shouldn't be posting that, there's no question!"

Moray:

--- Quote from: Lynn2000 on February 26, 2013, 04:10:08 PM ---I think the rule is that the OP shouldn't purely be a vent/rant. However, I think you can present a situation for general discussion, with an implicit or explicit question of, "What do you guys think?" instead of the question needing to be, "Was I rude? How should I handle this situation in the future?"

For example, I was recently at a workshop in which a participant was extremely rude to the presenter. I thought she handled his rudeness well. I think it would be okay for me to start a thread about this situation here, with the discussion being along the lines of, "Did she really handle it well? Was he actually rude? Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and how did you handle it?" I myself was just a witness to the event, and have no intention of being in either "active" role in the future, so it would be silly for me to contort things and add, "Was I rude? What should I do if something similar happens to me someday in the distant future?"

Note that if everyone is in agreement with me--that the guy was rude, and the presenter handled it well--it might not be a very long or interesting thread. But I don't think another poster could legitimately tell me, "You shouldn't be posting that, there's no question!"

--- End quote ---

I don't think there would be any problem with you posting that. The bolded are all valid and appropriate questions that are relevant to the purpose of this site.

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