Issues with Posters/Veracity/Suspected Trolling

[Lynn2000]

I've been consciously trying to report more threads to the mods... trying to be part of the solution and all that. It's almost never, "Holy smokes, I can't believe someone posted something so horribly out of bounds!" It's usually more like, "Um, I think things are getting a bit heated here, might want to keep an eye on it," or "I'm not really sure if this is right for this forum, maybe someone could look into it."

In other words, I don't think of reporting as me standing up and pointing at someone going, "They're doing something wrong! Stop them!" I think of it more like, I'm catching a mod's eye and kind of indicating a group they might want to take a closer look at. Then they can make their own determination about posting, locking, etc.. Sometimes I've reported things and nothing happened, so the mods clearly use their own judgment.

These things are probably obvious to some people. But, a while ago I read a post like this from someone else, which helped me to feel more comfortable about reporting threads. I think it bears repeating every once in a while.

[Sootikin]

Reporting to mods really does work.

Just a couple of days ago someone posted some wildly inaccurate medical advice, complete with underlining to emphasise her point.  I reported it (and I suspect I wasn't the only one) the whole thread appears to have been deleted. I think that was appropriate in this case since that removes the chance of someone reading the advice and not seeing a moderation comment later in the thread.

I agree with Oceanus that there's been a real increase in non-etiquette related threads, I just report and move on to the next thread.

[Scuba_Dog]

Reporting to mods really does work.

Just a couple of days ago someone posted some wildly inaccurate medical advice, complete with underlining to emphasise her point.  I reported it (and I suspect I wasn't the only one) the whole thread appears to have been deleted. I think that was appropriate in this case since that removes the chance of someone reading the advice and not seeing a moderation comment later in the thread.

I agree with Oceanus that there's been a real increase in non-etiquette related threads, I just report and move on to the next thread.

I know the thread you're talking about.  I think I was the last to post in it and really hope that folks saw that post.  I was shocked to find that some people still thought it was correct to do such an old school and dangerous thing.

Aside from that - and, it's something i see as trolling - Something I notice more and more of here are certain people making a point to target specific posters.  It's like they have something against them and seem to have to pick every thing they post apart.  It's disturbing and sad to see.  I just can't help but ponder the frame of mind a person has to get so invested in upsetting a stranger - especially one who has done nothing to them.  Again, it's sad. I wish I wasn't seeing it happen here.

[Sootikin]

You'll never get a group of diverse people getting along completely.

I don't think it's targeting or trolling so much, it's more people having different attitudes and outlooks and posting their position in opposition to others.  Although I agree there are certain posters who are guaranteed to disagree with specific posters, I think it's just a bit of 'oh there goes so and so again with her silly arguments, I'll oppose that view as usual.'. 

The opposite is also true, there's always posters who will support another posters view without fail too.

[Scuba_Dog]

You'll never get a group of diverse people getting along completely.

I don't think it's targeting or trolling so much, it's more people having different attitudes and outlooks and posting their position in opposition to others.  Although I agree there are certain posters who are guaranteed to disagree with specific posters, I think it's just a bit of 'oh there goes so and so again with her silly arguments, I'll oppose that view as usual.'. 

The opposite is also true, there's always posters who will support another posters view without fail too.

That may be the case sometimes - but not in the instance I'm talking about.  It's painfully obvious in this case.  And, again - just really pitiful and sad.  Not for the person targeted, they handle it well, but for those who do the trolling. 

[NotTheNarcissist]

I am trying to do a little soul searching about ehell. This thread has me thinking. In the past I have tried to keep comments etiquette-centric unless the thread was like "never shopping there again" or other clearly non-etiquette related sub-forums. I deviated at times if I was having a bad day or a certain subject & hence my emotions got the better of me. However, generally speaking I have made a conscious effort to keep comments mostly etiquette-related.

So in light of this particular thread I am posting in now about various issues with recent posters ...I thought, ok, down to business, I will double my efforts to keep my responses etiquette-related, even loosely etiquette-related. Not strict, just loose.

So in the office sub-forum, I saw a thread, no questions were asked, it was someone relaying a negative experience in the office. No "how do i respond?" or "This person was rude, and I didn't handle it well. How could I handle this better next time?"

I agreed that the person was rude and asked simply is there an etiquette question? I was told "Agreed. There doesn't need to be an etiquette question. E-Hell is founded on the concept of relaying rude circumstances."

Now, i am confused, and sincerely from my heart I am asking for clarification & help to understand. Where is the line? Honestly, if people are coming here to vent their frustrations when there are vast numbers of forums better suited for counseling (& esp career advice).... well, I don't know how to react to that. Is it a true statement that "there doesn't need to be an etiquette question" and "relaying rude circumstances" is sufficient to post... ?

Truth be told, I am changing in that my very first post here relayed rude circumstances & I don't think I asked an etiquette question. The post is gone now, when I click "view posts" it is too old I guess.  If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I would have asked questions... "how to respond?" and so forth. That fact makes me think that some newcomers love to jump in but haven't formulated their expectations as to what they truly want from ehell so the first several posts may be rambling & venting.  Less about etiquette, more justifying their feelings. I am guilty of this like I mentioned.

Speaking of rambling, sorry, I didn't mean to.  I guess this means a lot to me. Bottom line question: Is it true there doesn't need to be an etiquette question per se? Relaying a historical story to prove how rude a person is is sufficient? If the answer is 'yes' is there a line?

TIA.

[Moray]

I often wonder about the same thing, NotTheNarcissist. I think we do our best work, as a forum, when we're actually trying to give etiquette advice, but many threads lately do seem to be either seeking validation (sometimes with a one-upmanship element) or trying to deal with value judgements and/or family therapy rather than etiquette.

There's a place for the story sharing, but I understood it to be the Coffeebreak folder.

[NyaChan]

Actually, I had the same response as you did to that thread.  Seemed like a vent to me, but then I figured the implied purpose was probably to have ehellions discuss the nature and extent of the rudeness, how the workers could have handled it, and to share stories of similar rudeness.  Still, it can be hard to tell the difference between actual vents and stories told to open up discussion when some topics are let go, but others aren't.

[Lynn2000]

I think the rule is that the OP shouldn't purely be a vent/rant. However, I think you can present a situation for general discussion, with an implicit or explicit question of, "What do you guys think?" instead of the question needing to be, "Was I rude? How should I handle this situation in the future?"

For example, I was recently at a workshop in which a participant was extremely rude to the presenter. I thought she handled his rudeness well. I think it would be okay for me to start a thread about this situation here, with the discussion being along the lines of, "Did she really handle it well? Was he actually rude? Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and how did you handle it?" I myself was just a witness to the event, and have no intention of being in either "active" role in the future, so it would be silly for me to contort things and add, "Was I rude? What should I do if something similar happens to me someday in the distant future?"

Note that if everyone is in agreement with me--that the guy was rude, and the presenter handled it well--it might not be a very long or interesting thread. But I don't think another poster could legitimately tell me, "You shouldn't be posting that, there's no question!"

[Moray]

I think the rule is that the OP shouldn't purely be a vent/rant. However, I think you can present a situation for general discussion, with an implicit or explicit question of, "What do you guys think?" instead of the question needing to be, "Was I rude? How should I handle this situation in the future?"

For example, I was recently at a workshop in which a participant was extremely rude to the presenter. I thought she handled his rudeness well. I think it would be okay for me to start a thread about this situation here, with the discussion being along the lines of, "Did she really handle it well? Was he actually rude? Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and how did you handle it?" I myself was just a witness to the event, and have no intention of being in either "active" role in the future, so it would be silly for me to contort things and add, "Was I rude? What should I do if something similar happens to me someday in the distant future?"

Note that if everyone is in agreement with me--that the guy was rude, and the presenter handled it well--it might not be a very long or interesting thread. But I don't think another poster could legitimately tell me, "You shouldn't be posting that, there's no question!"

I don't think there would be any problem with you posting that. The bolded are all valid and appropriate questions that are relevant to the purpose of this site.

[oceanus]

Good points, Moray and NyaChan.

Regarding the “Time for a Coffee Break” section, I see that as more of a  place for relaxing, innocuous, informative, and enjoyable threads.  When I see threads there seeking family/relationship therapy, I tend to scroll and move on, no matter how they are camouflaged.

[Fleur]

Good points, Moray and NyaChan.

Regarding the “Time for a Coffee Break” section, I see that as more of a  place for relaxing, innocuous, informative, and enjoyable threads.  When I see threads there seeking family/relationship therapy, I tend to scroll and move on, no matter how they are camouflaged.

I don't know if I've asked this before, but I've certainly wondered before-what about the Hugs folder? I recently had a thread locked on there (without a Mod comment) which I thought was fairly innocuous, although I suppose it could have been seen as asking for theraputic advice, even though that wasn't my intention. I suppose it sometimes depends on which moderator sees a thread? I am not clear as to the rules for the Hugs folder and would appreciate clarification.

[NotTheNarcissist]

But I don't think another poster could legitimately tell me, "You shouldn't be posting that, there's no question!"

This is important to me. I didn't mean to come across as pompous in my post that I referred to, but I know I did. That bothers me & I will be cautious of that going forward. Again, I'm still soul searching. My own perspective and expectations are shifting. Appreciate being able to talk this out without getting blasted.

[Lynn2000]

But I don't think another poster could legitimately tell me, "You shouldn't be posting that, there's no question!"

This is important to me. I didn't mean to come across as pompous in my post that I referred to, but I know I did. That bothers me & I will be cautious of that going forward. Again, I'm still soul searching. My own perspective and expectations are shifting. Appreciate being able to talk this out without getting blasted.

Oh, sorry, I wasn't trying to chide you with that quote or anything. I just meant that I felt my example situation would fit within the scope of the forum, even though it was a bit more abstract than a "Was I rude?" situation. But I don't see any problem with politely asking for clarification of the OP's point, if it's not readily apparent.

[Frostblooded]

Actually, I had the same response as you did to that thread.  Seemed like a vent to me, but then I figured the implied purpose was probably to have ehellions discuss the nature and extent of the rudeness, how the workers could have handled it, and to share stories of similar rudeness.  Still, it can be hard to tell the difference between actual vents and stories told to open up discussion when some topics are let go, but others aren't.

I was the person who stated  "Agreed. There doesn't need to be an etiquette question. E-Hell is founded on the concept of relaying rude circumstances."

From my perspective, it was simply a post detailing a happenstance. Like Evil Ducky (I believe that's correct) used to tell stories about her thoughtless and rude brother-in-law. Or how we came about E-Hell inclusive memes such as Racist Bagels, Dresser Queen, et cetera. It didn't look like a vent from my perspective. I think that for me to say that, it probably didn't ping on my radar as a vent at all. In fact, here is the thread in question. It's short, succinct, and I don't really see any angry flailing you usually find around vent threads. There are examples of vent threads that have been closed by moderators in the past that should give a real clear example to help out!