A bad date and how people can be clueless me included Update post #50

[jmarvellous]

I don't care where you live, man provides for the transportation, pays for the date, and doesn't drink too much.  Common sense imo.

He would have paid for everything, I would have walked out otherwise.  Some women on here need to raise the bar imo.

That is not an attitude I share. Nor does the man I love, thank goodness. It has nothing to do with "low" standards, just (apparently vastly) different ones.

That is, aside from not approving of drinking "too much," which I think is polite of anyone in most any initial meeting.

[Judah]

I don't care where you live, man provides for the transportation, pays for the date, and doesn't drink too much.  Common sense imo.

He would have paid for everything, I would have walked out otherwise.  Some women on here need to raise the bar imo.

Replace "man" with "whoever did the inviting, unless other arrangements are agreed upon beforehand", and I agree.

I agree, the inviter should pay, no one should drink too much, and transportation should be whatever is agreed upon.  On a first date with a stranger I'd meet them there.  I don't want to get in a car with someone I know nothing about, nor would I want to be stuck transporting my date if he turned out to be a jerk. 

[EduardosGirl]

I don't care where you live, man provides for the transportation, pays for the date, and doesn't drink too much.  Common sense imo.

He would have paid for everything, I would have walked out otherwise.  Some women on here need to raise the bar imo.

That is not an attitude I share. Nor does the man I love, thank goodness. It has nothing to do with "low" standards, just (apparently vastly) different ones.

That is, aside from not approving of drinking "too much," which I think is polite of anyone in most any initial meeting.

I have to admit, I'm having a little trouble hearing you back there in the 50s.

Strictly speaking, the person who invites should pay, but you should always have some money with you anyway. In my experience, most dates go dutch, so it's not even an issue.

I'm not sure how high we women need to raise the bar. To what end? What is your point there, as I can unfortunately only take it poorly.

[War_Doc]

Let's knock it off with the sexist remarks.  I realize others have responded but this is the official word and times and so have attitudes.

[hjaye]

When my ex and I were dating, after two or three dates she insisted on splitting the cost of the dates when we went out...............................................she got tired of paying for everything  ba da bump

[Reader]

Op here.  Really feel like I dodged a bullet. 

I had called after Labor Day and let him know I didn't think there enough of a connection to pursue anything further.  Thought everything was good until I got a phone call that I took from him a week or two later where he told me I had no idea what a relationship was like  and he was trying to ignore me (really odd since I had not called or messaged him at all), and was getting irate.  Since I didn't feel like I had to sit and listen to it I told him so and hung up.  Things were quiet for about a week.   I had met him through a dating site, he used the site to send off a couple of messages to me.  One was a tirade again, and then the next was saying he was sorry for the phone call and hoping he didn't scare me off.  I told him I was not interested again and not to contact me again.  Which he followed since then until last night when I got a series of drunken phone calls from him.  First one went to voicemail as I was driving at the time.  Full of swear words about not taking his calls.  Since I had since deleted his phone number form my phone I called it back figuring it could be a friend drunk dialing me (I have a few friends who will do this on occasion) as I didn't fully recognize the voice in the message.  When he answered it didn't take me long to figure out who had called and realize he was very drunk.  Que him alternating between saying I like you to insulting me - where at that I told him I could not speak to him while he was in that state and not to call me again.  I let the next 3 calls go to voicemail.  Where I got messages telling me he had met a better girl than me (so why wasn't he calling her then?), to asking for my phone number  , to telling me I need to watch what I am doing or something the last was pretty slurred. 

So now I have blocked him off the site I am on, programmed his number into my phone so I'll recognize it and I won't answer another call (don't think I can block numbers on my 10 year old phone but will be looking into that when I get home today), and am very grateful he has no idea where I live.

[jmarvellous]

Bravo, Reader. You are doing all the right things. Don't feel bad if he doesn't get the hint (or even the outright telling-him-what-to-do), though. He's clearly not the type to listen to feedback. If I were you, I would refuse to listen even to a voice mail at this point.

I have had bad dates go really, really bad before, too. Sometimes they get it eventually, sometimes they don't. If he escalates (which it doesn't sound like he'll do at this point, but who knows?), just don't be afraid to enlist the help of a brave friend or the police.

[Animala]

Oh my.  Can you contact the site admin? 

[Reader]

I can only report his profile and that's only if it doesn't meet the criteria of the site otherwise then they will ban me for reporting false info.  I think it set up that way so people couldn't do in retaliation of a date going badly and such.  I'm going to look into more this weekend, but so far I haven't heard anything from him at all.

[Twik]

I lol'd.

"HOW CAN I IGNORE YOU WHEN YOU WON'T TRY TO CONTACT ME!!!1!" 

[zyrs]

I lol'd.

"HOW CAN I IGNORE YOU WHEN YOU WON'T TRY TO CONTACT ME!!!1!" 

This.