Author Topic: How to ask,"One room or two?"  (Read 6803 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

WillyNilly

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7490
  • Mmmmm, food
    • The World as I Taste It
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2011, 01:21:33 PM »
I absolutely, without question, interpet his email to mean one room for the tw of you. So if you aren't thinking "romantic weekend away together" you need to be clear on that.

Also, just a small point but... when you call the B&B ask if all the rooms have private bathrooms. Its not uncommon in a B&B to have shared facilities for some rooms. So you might book a room with a bathroom and he might not... and then he might ask to use yours. Its just always good to have an idea of the situations you might encouner.

NutMeg

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1913
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2011, 11:01:38 PM »
Why would you ask one room or two? Is the result dependant on his answer?

Do you want to share a room with him? Don't ask him, ask yourself. Then tell him what you are comfortable with. I think asking for the name of the B and B to book yourself is a great way to handle things if you want your own room.

ETA: I too interpret his email to mean that he wants to share a room with you. Which is odd, because as you say, you've never even kissed. Why would he expect to go from not kissing to sex in one weekend? It's weird.
"You're hostages! This is a life-and-death situation here. Start acting like it! We're your captors. We're armed. There's rules. There's a whole school of etiquette to this!" - Dr. Daniel Jackson                

nonesuch4

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 457
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #17 on: September 07, 2011, 09:17:48 AM »
Since it's the weekend of Big Event, rooms are hard to get.

I just emailed him (since I called last evening and got voice mail) and asked if he had reserved one room or two, and that I wouldn't be comfortable sharing a room.

So, what's done is done.  If he cleverly booked two rooms he'll have a companion.  If he booked only one, well he's got a couple weeks to find a woman who'll share with him.

 Event is only an hour from me.  I could drive up the day of and home, no big deal.  It's two hours from his home, so it makes sense to make an overnight trip out of it.  I've been to Event before (large agricultural fair), so I'd just be going for the company.

I should have just rung him up the moment I got his email, and just asked straight up what he meant.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2011, 09:19:35 AM by nonesuch4 »

Petticoats

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3494
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #18 on: September 07, 2011, 11:41:55 AM »
I hope everything works out. :)

Poirot

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1969
  • Needler of threads, not threader of needles
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2011, 11:45:51 AM »
You could say some variation of, "Sounds good.  Let me know how much my room costs/what I need to budget for my room/what I owe for my room."

I think this makes it sound liek she is offering to pay, and he can respond with "Dont worry about it." And then what - what does that mean? That he's only booking one room? That he'll pay for both?

I wouldnt leave it open to that much interpretation.  I also wouldnt be going on an overnight with a guy I'd never kissed, and leaving him to make travel and accommodation arrangements for me.

OP, I'd urge you to make your own arrangments.  Ask him for the name of the B&B.  Tell him that it sounds great, but you'd prefer to make your own arrangments, can he send along the name of the B&B? You'll book today, so he can book as well (or whatever line assures him that you'll in fact be attending). 

This is going to sound mother-ish, and I apologize in advance, but your post sounds like you havent reached a level of intimacy with him yet where you feel 100% comfortable.  And give that fact, I urge you to think about your transportation there and back, your accomodations, what you're willing to accept and what you arent, and spell it out clearly for him.

Edited because I re-read the OP, and not all of my post was applicable.

POD cubed!
A spoon! A spoon! My kingdom for a case of #%^***** spoons!

Lynn2000

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5375
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #20 on: September 07, 2011, 11:48:02 AM »
Since it's the weekend of Big Event, rooms are hard to get.

I just emailed him (since I called last evening and got voice mail) and asked if he had reserved one room or two, and that I wouldn't be comfortable sharing a room.

So, what's done is done.  If he cleverly booked two rooms he'll have a companion.  If he booked only one, well he's got a couple weeks to find a woman who'll share with him.

 Event is only an hour from me.  I could drive up the day of and home, no big deal.  It's two hours from his home, so it makes sense to make an overnight trip out of it.  I've been to Event before (large agricultural fair), so I'd just be going for the company.

I should have just rung him up the moment I got his email, and just asked straight up what he meant.

I think this sounds like a good way to handle it. It's good that this question came up when it's something close to you, where you can fairly easily drive home if it turns out you two weren't on the same wavelength. Then the next time this comes up--when it involves a plane trip, for example--you'll feel more comfortable clarifying in advance because you'll have had experience with it.
~Lynn2000

nonesuch4

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 457
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2011, 10:51:53 PM »
There will be no scrabble.

It turns out, that was not what he had in mind at all.

I knew that, in my gut.  But it was easy enough to ring him and ask, "Just what do you expect?"

All safety precautions will be followed, but it looks as if I'll be eating off "paper plates with plastic folks" after all.

Owing to the other  fiasco mentioned in another thread, I'll have plenty of cash on me, too. 

Thank you for all your collective wisdom.  Should I decide to continue dating, it will come in handy.  After this, though, I may not.  This is a young person's game.  And tonight I feel very old.

penelope2017

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3022
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2011, 10:58:25 PM »
There will be no scrabble.

It turns out, that was not what he had in mind at all.

I knew that, in my gut.  But it was easy enough to ring him and ask, "Just what do you expect?"

All safety precautions will be followed, but it looks as if I'll be eating off "paper plates with plastic folks" after all.

Owing to the other  fiasco mentioned in another thread, I'll have plenty of cash on me, too. 

Thank you for all your collective wisdom.  Should I decide to continue dating, it will come in handy.  After this, though, I may not.  This is a young person's game.  And tonight I feel very old.

I'm confused by what the bolded above means?

So is your trip off? If he didnt have that in mind it sounds like you guys were on the same page? What was the outcome?

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8198
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2011, 10:59:22 PM »
I'm glad you're still going -- safely. 

And when you get back, be sure to let us know how dinner with the plastic folks went.  Were they good conversationalists or were they just very superficial?   ;)

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8198
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2011, 11:01:14 PM »


I'm confused by what the bolded above means?



It was a typo in her original post.  She (probably) meant to say "plastic forks".

Addy

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 513
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #25 on: September 07, 2011, 11:07:36 PM »
Penelope, I think the trip is on, as part of the original invitation email stated that they would be eating with "paper plates and plastic folks" and the OP says she is going to get to do so. Sounds like two rooms were booked.

Petticoats

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3494
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #26 on: September 08, 2011, 09:49:31 AM »
Nonesuch, I have to confess I'm confused by your update. Does this mean that you and this fellow are no longer dating? I hope I'm misreading.

ETA: Can you point me or link to your other thread?
« Last Edit: September 08, 2011, 09:53:02 AM by Petticoats »

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28662
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #27 on: September 08, 2011, 10:31:11 AM »
Yes, I'm confused as well, although it sounds like Nonesuch may not feel like expanding on it. I'm very sorry that things went so badly. Certainly, the letter came off as at least mildly flirtatious, and if he's offended that Nonesuch asked for clarification, he's in the wrong.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Eeep!

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 869
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #28 on: September 08, 2011, 12:55:11 PM »
Yes, I'm confused as well, although it sounds like Nonesuch may not feel like expanding on it. I'm very sorry that things went so badly. Certainly, the letter came off as at least mildly flirtatious, and if he's offended that Nonesuch asked for clarification, he's in the wrong.

I agree that if for some reason Nonesuch was made to feel stupid for her question than he is wrong. I reread the email and he does say "book a room", not book us rooms.  Add to that the "nightie (or not)" comment and I was definitely leaning towards the sharing a room scenario.  Nonesuch, I'm sorry if things turned out disappointing. I hope you can still have fun on the trip.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

nonesuch4

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 457
Re: How to ask,"One room or two?"
« Reply #29 on: September 08, 2011, 08:29:00 PM »
No, NO, everything is good!  He's good, I'm good, Everyone is now on the same page.

I Actually sent an email to him just before I called him. He was a tad hurt, as he has truly truly never given me a reason to distrust him...at all.  In fact, the way he got through the "selection process" is because everything about his life is pretty transparent.  No multiple email addresses like "2hot4u" or anything:  just simple names like joeinpaducahatyahoodotcom. And pics of grown children and grandchildren he adores and babysits for because they live nearby. His Facebook page is the same way.

As a matter of fact, I was thinking just before I called him, "Why have I been driving to Joe's city?  Why isn't he driving up here to see me? "  And a one point during the conversation I mentioned a task I had to do, and he quietly said, "You know, Nonesuch, if you invited me up on a Sunday, I could help you with that." 

I did explain about the euphemism "playing Scrabble,"  because he actually does play the game with the little tiles with letters on them.