Author Topic: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: I give up  (Read 29796 times)

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Balletmom

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #75 on: November 22, 2011, 06:18:46 PM »
What a train wreck.

He refuses to speak, because he is either so low functioning he's frustrated, or he's learned he doesn't have to speak.

Ditto with the work.

Of course he has other learning disabilities. He has whatever it takes to get him through.

A good friend's son is on the spectrum; she mentioned once that he could get into university with accommodations, but she felt he probably wouldn't be able to handle it. That was a huge, huge step as a parent, since she was a die-hard supporter of her college. She made it all about her son and not her own dream.

My guess is Nazir is rebelling by refusing to do anything.

blarg314

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #76 on: November 23, 2011, 09:31:18 PM »

A good friend's son is on the spectrum; she mentioned once that he could get into university with accommodations, but she felt he probably wouldn't be able to handle it. That was a huge, huge step as a parent, since she was a die-hard supporter of her college. She made it all about her son and not her own dream.


That's a good point. I've seen this with kids who don't have any disabilities as well - they just don't want to be in university, or studying X, or don't have the skills or inclination to do well, or be anything but miserable, and are being pressured into it by their parents.

For a kid with a disability, getting through university means that they need to be personally motivated and dedicated, even more so than for the other students, because it's going to take a lot of work and effort and frustration, even with the accommodations. A kid who doesn't really want to be there, *and* has a serious disability that needs a lot of accommodation, is going to be miserable.

shadowfox79

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #77 on: November 24, 2011, 06:51:40 AM »
Nazir is meeting with the course leader and our student liaison officer today, and the CL is trying to set up a meeting with Tariq next week.

I would hope that a mutually satisfactory resolution will be reached, but I think that would be pointless. Short of handing him a degree we're never going to make his family happy.

Petticoats

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #78 on: November 24, 2011, 08:34:52 AM »
Ugh, what a mess. Please keep us updated, OP, and I hope that the outcome will be a pleasant surprise. :)

JenJay

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #79 on: November 26, 2011, 10:32:47 PM »
I doubt his family really cares what he gets a degree in or what he does with it, so long as they can puff up their chests and say that he has one just like everyone else in the family. I wish you weren't having to deal with this, shadowfox.  :-\

a

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #80 on: December 07, 2011, 06:13:59 AM »
Have lurked but am really curious about updates... you're doing to right thing to stay out of it!

shadowfox79

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #81 on: December 07, 2011, 07:20:33 AM »
Not much to say at the moment. He's been put in a new group for one piece of group work and given a new deadline - this new group consists of people who couldn't work in other groups, basically, so will probably spontaneously combust. The other piece of work is still up in the air as no-one's been able to get a straight answer out of the module leader.

I gather the brother hasn't been involved so far, which is good.

strangetimes

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #82 on: December 07, 2011, 07:31:53 AM »
As frustrating as this situation seems to us, children of wealthy donors get into programs they don't deserve to be in all. the. time.

A good friend of mine worked herself to the bone all through high school and got into an ivy. She totally deserved it- she is brilliant and a hard worker. She used to complain to me about all of the students who got there through family money or connections and would never have been within spitting distance otherwise.

Shadowfox- I hope, for your sake, that this student either manages his course work somehow, or flames out so epically that the family won't be able to blame anyone else.

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #83 on: December 07, 2011, 11:46:27 AM »
No, if/when he flames out, the school will be TOTALLY at fault. ::)  They didn't give him enough help, you see, or bend over backward far enough.  There will be threat of a lawsuit, and the school will hand him his diploma rather than pay a multi-million dollar judgement.
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shadowfox79

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #84 on: December 07, 2011, 04:48:24 PM »
No, if/when he flames out, the school will be TOTALLY at fault. ::)  They didn't give him enough help, you see, or bend over backward far enough.  There will be threat of a lawsuit, and the school will hand him his diploma rather than pay a multi-million dollar judgement.

I'd love to know how they'd do that from an admin point of view, I have to admit. Our boards can use their own judgment in the cases of severely ill or terminal students, but I've never seen it done for "lawsuit-happy family".

Calypso

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #85 on: December 07, 2011, 04:58:49 PM »
No, if/when he flames out, the school will be TOTALLY at fault. ::)  They didn't give him enough help, you see, or bend over backward far enough.  There will be threat of a lawsuit, and the school will hand him his diploma rather than pay a multi-million dollar judgement.

I get the feeling Nazir's family expect that he should get a degree for doing nothing---they paid tuition! Now give him A's and a diploma!
What makes me sad are the mediocre (or worse) "connections" students lord their "academic credentials" over other people with far more arrogance than the students who actually, you know, EARNED their degrees. Sigh.

Flora Louise

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #86 on: December 07, 2011, 05:28:47 PM »
No, if/when he flames out, the school will be TOTALLY at fault. ::)  They didn't give him enough help, you see, or bend over backward far enough.  There will be threat of a lawsuit, and the school will hand him his diploma rather than pay a multi-million dollar judgement.

Do you think? I'd love to see that tested in court. I really wish people would stop caving at the mere threat of legal action and say, "Bring it." I know how I'd react if I were on a jury resolving this case.
Just because you're disappointed in me doesn't mean I did anything wrong.

shadowfox79

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #87 on: December 08, 2011, 02:39:19 AM »
Do you think? I'd love to see that tested in court. I really wish people would stop caving at the mere threat of legal action and say, "Bring it." I know how I'd react if I were on a jury resolving this case.

So would I. I get very tired of telling students that no, they can't have an extra 2% on their dissertation only for the higher-ups to say "Oh, just give it to him, he's threatening a lawsuit." If it was up to me I'd tell Nazir's family to go right ahead.

JenJay

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Agh!
« Reply #88 on: December 08, 2011, 08:05:16 AM »
Do you think? I'd love to see that tested in court. I really wish people would stop caving at the mere threat of legal action and say, "Bring it." I know how I'd react if I were on a jury resolving this case.

So would I. I get very tired of telling students that no, they can't have an extra 2% on their dissertation only for the higher-ups to say "Oh, just give it to him, he's threatening a lawsuit." If it was up to me I'd tell Nazir's family to go right ahead.

In a perfect world every threat of "Gimmee what I want or I'm going to sue you!" would be met with "In that case all further communication needs to be made through our attorney, and please know that if the lawsuit is found in our favor we will be counter-suing for attorney's fees. Here is his card."  ;D

shadowfox79

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Re: S/O Aspergers - autistic student - UPDATE: Oh, for the love of...
« Reply #89 on: December 08, 2011, 08:39:42 AM »
We just had an email from another of his module tutors, who incidentally doesn't know Nazir is autistic - I'm not sure why this wasn't made known to the tutors but it's not my place to do it.

Apparently he isn't engaging in the module at all - she had a one-to-one meeting with him and he clearly has no idea what he's doing. He also admitted he didn't know why he was doing the course, and hasn't even started the assignment that is due next week (he was supposed to put in a draft this week). She mentioned that he spends the class sitting "smiling to himself" and that a couple of the students had told her they thought he was "special".  >:(

I've made the course leader aware of it, but this is just terrible. I'm actually feeling sorry for him.