General Etiquette > Family and Children

MIL and the chocolate presents - updated #134, p.9, #234 p.16

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christmascarol:

--- Quote ---wait a minute = she bought it *on purpose*? it wasnt' a case of "i buy chocolate for everyone and i'm so sorry i forgot about your allergy"? sheesh. it's *isn't* funny. it never *was* funny. it's very mean and rude on her part.
--- End quote ---

Yes, she knows.  When I said I couldn't eat it, she said, "I know."  The women's bunnies had little ceramic eggs over one ear and when I tried to just take the egg, she literally screamed No!!! at me.

She likes to give chocolate on every occasion as it saves her any effort.  Actually, chocolate's a step up for hubby.  He used to get socks.

I'm thinking of giving her the birthday chocolate back.  It's dark chocolate and I don't know anybody else who eats it but her.  I don't mean nastily.



christmascarol:

--- Quote ---EvilIris wouldn't be bothered to remember when she has made plans to exchange gifts with you.
--- End quote ---

One year she "Couldn't be bothered" getting me a birthday present at all.  When hubby called her on it, she said she'd just get me something extra for Christmas.  I told her it was ok, as it was easier for her not to get presents, we'd just not bother any more at all.  She was furious as she loves my presents.  I cracked after a few years as it made Christmas awkward and I LIKE giving presents.  It was worth it to see the pleasure on FIL's face.

QueenofAllThings:
I'd go with a PP's suggestion of just refusing the gift. If she hands it to you, just say "MIL, you know I'm allergic. I'd rather not touch it". If she leaves it on a table, don't pick it up or comment on it.

And enlist DH - it's his mother.

aiki:

--- Quote from: christmascarol on September 12, 2011, 06:25:31 AM ---
--- Quote ---EvilIris wouldn't be bothered to remember when she has made plans to exchange gifts with you.
--- End quote ---

One year she "Couldn't be bothered" getting me a birthday present at all.  When hubby called her on it, she said she'd just get me something extra for Christmas.  I told her it was ok, as it was easier for her not to get presents, we'd just not bother any more at all.  She was furious as she loves my presents.  I cracked after a few years as it made Christmas awkward and I LIKE giving presents.  It was worth it to see the pleasure on FIL's face.

--- End quote ---

Ah, well there's your answer. Save the chocolate she gives you, and re-wrap it for her for the next gift-giving occasion. Bonus points if it's incorrect for the season - e.g. Easter chocolate for Christmas. Extra bonus points if a bit stale by the time she gets it back.  >:D

Shannon:

--- Quote from: christmascarol on September 12, 2011, 06:25:31 AM ---
--- Quote ---EvilIris wouldn't be bothered to remember when she has made plans to exchange gifts with you.
--- End quote ---

One year she "Couldn't be bothered" getting me a birthday present at all.  When hubby called her on it, she said she'd just get me something extra for Christmas.  I told her it was ok, as it was easier for her not to get presents, we'd just not bother any more at all.  She was furious as she loves my presents.  I cracked after a few years as it made Christmas awkward and I LIKE giving presents.  It was worth it to see the pleasure on FIL's face.

--- End quote ---

Well, there's your angle, isn't it? Stop getting her presents until she stops giving you chocolate. Start sending her lovely and thoughtful cards instead. You're still remembering and marking her birthday/Christmas/whatever, but you're not going out of your way to do a nice thing for someone who can't be bothered to do the same for you.

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