Author Topic: MIL and the chocolate presents - updated #134, p.9, #234 p.16  (Read 39082 times)

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alegria

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2011, 10:28:56 AM »
In my opinion, it's time to throw a scene.  A full-on, sniffly, crying, "YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!," racing out of the room scene.  Bonus points if you can manage a sobbed "What have I EVER done to you to make you want to KILL ME???!!!" as you run out of the room.  Double bonus points if there are more than four people present.

She's doing it on purpose to be mean and cruel, with the bonus of lazy added in.  Call her on it in a big way, in public.

MerryCat

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2011, 11:13:35 AM »
I would suggest getting your MIL small, not particularly thoughtful gifts until she changes her ways. Nothing so bad that she can call you on it, but boring enough that she feels she's missing out on the awesomeness that is your gift giving. I'd also make all the gifts be something to do with chocolate - like a box of chocolate, tin of hot chocolate, gift certificate to a chocolate place. Just say something along the lines of "I can tell how much you love chocolate so I thought this would be perfect for you."

MrTango

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2011, 11:18:02 AM »
So, she insists on buying you "gifts" to which your body has a serious allergy?

Has it occurred to anyone else what "Gift" means in German?

EmmaJ.

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #18 on: September 12, 2011, 12:49:20 PM »
So, she insists on buying you "gifts" to which your body has a serious allergy?

Has it occurred to anyone else what "Gift" means in German?

Oh my goodness!!! I pulled up Google Translator and my jaw hit the floor!

(It means "poison".)    :o   

Hmmmmm

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2011, 01:15:10 PM »
Quote
wait a minute = she bought it *on purpose*? it wasnt' a case of "i buy chocolate for everyone and i'm so sorry i forgot about your allergy"? sheesh. it's *isn't* funny. it never *was* funny. it's very mean and rude on her part.

Yes, she knows.  When I said I couldn't eat it, she said, "I know."  The women's bunnies had little ceramic eggs over one ear and when I tried to just take the egg, she literally screamed No!!! at me.She likes to give chocolate on every occasion as it saves her any effort.  Actually, chocolate's a step up for hubby.  He used to get socks.

I'm thinking of giving her the birthday chocolate back.  It's dark chocolate and I don't know anybody else who eats it but her.  I don't mean nastily.

So were the women who could eat chocolate allowed to eat the eggs?  I think she does this hoping you'll just give her the chocolate back. 

I'd stop giving her gifts and anytime she gave you chocolate I'd say "Thank you, I'm sure the "teachers at the local school" or the "patients at the nursing home" or the "volunteers at the shelter" will enjoy these when I drop them off to them." 

KimberlyRose

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2011, 02:31:18 PM »
I don't think there is anything you can say that will change her ways. Even giving her the benefit of the doubt, it seems she has the idea of you and chocolate firmly fixed in her mind. Does she give everyone chocolate or is it just you?

She's said outright that she can't be bothered to remember that the OP likes licorice, and she's also given the OP chocolate, telling her that she knew the OP couldn't eat it.

To be honest, and I know this isn't eHell approved, I'd be inclined to just look at her, then take the chocolate over to the trash and dump it.  These aren't presents, this is a power play.  She's telling the OP how little she thinks of her.

lady_disdain

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2011, 02:48:32 PM »
My take is that she gets off on all the scenes and on "humiliating" you in public. So I would just quietly thank her, put her gift to the side and move on with life. Out of her sight, give awesome SiL the chocolate. Give MiL boring, repetitive gifts and keep giving everyone else amazing gifts.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #22 on: September 12, 2011, 02:56:39 PM »
I agree with just getting MIL boring gifts but I wouldn't quietly give the chocolate to someone else.  When she gives you chocolate, say 'MIL, thank you but you know I can't eat chocolate.  SIL, would you like mine?'

Don't make a fuss but give it to someone else right in front of her, every time.  Or use Pame's idea about telling her where you are going to donate it.
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SuperMartianRobotGirl

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #23 on: September 12, 2011, 02:57:15 PM »
I feel your pain.  I get severe migraine headaches and can't eat chocolate, and there is a family member who always gets me chocolate, even though she knows I can't eat it.  And I LOVE chocolate so it's really difficult.  I haven't decided whether it's a PA thing in my case, I go back and forth on that, but it sounds seriously PA in your case.  Maybe you should just hand the chocolate back to her and say, "Thanks but I can't eat it.  Why don't you keep it?"  In my case, I open it, see it's chocolate, and say, "Well I can't have it but I guess the kids can have it."  One year I just handed the present to my daughter and had her open it.  I don't even care about it anymore, but I've stopped pretending to be excited.  She doesn't seem to care if I like it or not anyway.

TychaBrahe

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #24 on: September 12, 2011, 03:20:10 PM »
In my opinion, it's time to throw a scene.  A full-on, sniffly, crying, "YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!," racing out of the room scene.  Bonus points if you can manage a sobbed "What have I EVER done to you to make you want to KILL ME???!!!" as you run out of the room.  Double bonus points if there are more than four people present.

She's doing it on purpose to be mean and cruel, with the bonus of lazy added in.  Call her on it in a big way, in public.

I wouldn't go quite that far, but here is what I would do.

First, your DH must talk to her.  What she is doing is cruel and offensive.  This most likely won't stop her.

So take her gift and open it last.  Gush over the other gifts.  "Oh, FIL, what a lovely bracelet!"  "Oh, SIL, I've been wanting to read this book for ages!"

And then, "And here's my annual Christmas trip to the emergency room from MIL.  Thanks, MIL, but here's your chocolate back.  You know I don't dare eat any."
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Lisbeth

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #25 on: September 12, 2011, 03:23:29 PM »
In my opinion, it's time to throw a scene.  A full-on, sniffly, crying, "YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!," racing out of the room scene.  Bonus points if you can manage a sobbed "What have I EVER done to you to make you want to KILL ME???!!!" as you run out of the room.  Double bonus points if there are more than four people present.

She's doing it on purpose to be mean and cruel, with the bonus of lazy added in.  Call her on it in a big way, in public.

I wouldn't go quite that far, but here is what I would do.

First, your DH must talk to her.  What she is doing is cruel and offensive.  This most likely won't stop her.

So take her gift and open it last.  Gush over the other gifts.  "Oh, FIL, what a lovely bracelet!"  "Oh, SIL, I've been wanting to read this book for ages!"

And then, "And here's my annual Christmas trip to the emergency room from MIL.  Thanks, MIL, but here's your chocolate back.  You know I don't dare eat any."

I wouldn't even do that.  I wouldn't acknowledge any gift from MIL.  Like a PP says, she gets off on giving gifts knowing they are useless to you.  I wouldn't even take it or open it.
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Bharris

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #26 on: September 12, 2011, 03:47:37 PM »
Evil Bharris would suggest that you give MIL something that she can't stand or is allergic to in return, maybe with the comment, "Well, I thought that since you like giving deadly gifts, you'd like receiving them as well!"  >:D

But seriously, I agree that you shouldn't expect that MIL will change, so just ignore her chocolate gifts or pass them along to someone who'd appreciate them.  Maybe me!   ;D
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JenJay

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #27 on: September 12, 2011, 06:27:04 PM »
I'd pre-plan for my husband to take it from my hands, say "Mother, enough!" and throw it into the trash right in front of her, but that's me.

Mrs.E

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #28 on: September 12, 2011, 06:49:07 PM »
With as long as this has gone on I think an extreme reply is the only way to get it through her thick skull. I would either dump it straight into the trash or hand it directly to someone else, telling her that she KNOWS you are allergic and can't have chocolate. I would also stop giving her gifts.

Elfmama

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Re: MIL and the chocolate presents
« Reply #29 on: September 12, 2011, 07:26:25 PM »
With as long as this has gone on I think an extreme reply is the only way to get it through her thick skull. I would either dump it straight into the trash or hand it directly to someone else, telling her that she KNOWS you are allergic and can't have chocolate. I would also stop giving her gifts.
No, I'd give her presents.  They'd be the cheapest, tackiest stuff that the dollar store has, but they'd be presents.  Maybe start her a collection of knick-knackery.  Frogs, or cheap knockoffs of Hummel figurines, or something similar.  Bonus points if she has a phobia about frogs!
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