Need Response For Unwanted Gifts

[Minmom3]

*** *** *** have surgery unicorn flower arrangement.  If he has become "old man shirt "guy then he best thing to do is never were a "old man " shirt to work again, it will take time for people to stop but they will eventually (especially if he replaces old man shirts with some other distinctive thing) 

Oh , you are not clear does he like the shirts? then it's likely a bad idea to try to change what he wears day to day.

Very funny!  Is that supposed to be surgery or sugary???  I don't know which is worse, to be truthful.  Sprakly unicorn shirts sound ghastly!

[Yvaine]

They're either Hawaiian shirts or ones with flames (in my area, there's a name for guys who wear these type of shirts, but I won't repeat it  ). The problem is, he wears them so he doesn't hurt their feelings and while he thinks they're okay, he would even rather not get them anymore. He usually only wears these shirts when he absolutely nothing left clean in his closet, they're "last resort" shirts. To help with that problem, we went out and got 4 new collars shirts. He has plenty of shirts, that's not really an issue. With his Stepdad, it's easier to say no than a coworker, so I don't know why he can't just say it. Or donate the shirts. They're never purchased just for him, the flame shirt he got because it was too small for his stepdad and his last shirt... I don't know, it was definitely used. It's not like people are buying him shirts, wrapping them up, and giving them as gifts. It's not that kind of gift.

Ah, OK. Everybody he knows is into a particular tacky style, and they want him to love it too. And if he's one of the thinner guys at work, he may be getting their too-small clothes like he is from stepdad. I think he should just say thanks and then donate the shirts.

[dks64]

Weird question: Why are his co-workers buying him shirts ?  As for the stepdad, the best bet is probably tap dancing around it with "Oh, Wayne, btw, thanks for the shirt you gave me for my birthday. And guess what my girlfriend bought me ? A ton of new shirts! lol I won't be needing new shirts for quite a while, I'll tell you that. Now our dresser and closet are packed, between the shirts you gave me and the ones she gave me  I told her 'honey, I love you, but no more shirts' "

Not a weird question , I asked my husband "under what circumstances would you give a coworker a shirt?" he answer was "none" and well maybe if his shirt was ripped or something.Once told the entire question He suggested .....BF likes these shirts and is buying them for himself and saying the shirts are gifts so he can keep them/not admit he likes them.

So I'm changing my answer to he may be making it up or he has not been metting the dress coded and coworkers are trying to help him.

LOL, no really, I've witnessed it twice in the last 2 weeks! Not the coworkers, but his stepdad dropped off a shirt for him (used) and his Mom gave him a t-shirt. We had a conversation trying to think of ways to politely turn down clothes, then 10 minutes later, his stepdad drops off the shirt. 30 minutes after that, we walked into the kitchen and his Mom had brought him a shirt. It was actually quite funny.

No, he's meeting the dress code. His non-ugly shirts are way nicer than the used shirts he gets.

[BeagleMommy]

Since these are not gifts being purchase for him I would suggest "I appreciate the though, but I can't use any more shirts.  Thanks.". 

DH used to have the same problem with his father.  His dad always wanted to give him hand-me-down clothing.  It was usually something dad or another relative couldn't wear anymore.  One time it was a powder blude leisure suit that had belonged to DH's uncle (who had recently passed away).  The suit was 10 sizes larger than DH wore.

He usually said "Thanks, Dad" and "forgot" it when we left.

[magiccat26]

You say he won't donate the shirts...well depending on your relationship...just because HE won't donate doesn't mean the shirts cannot slowly "disappear".

DH's parents LOVE to buy him clothes.  The problem?  DH's dad loves pink and purple (he's odd but the colors do look good on FIL)...so he buys the same colors for DH.  DH is a red head....he's also colorblind.  So, usually when I'm cleaning out the closets, these shirts seem to jump right into my donation box!  It's the oddest thing.   

[dks64]

They're either Hawaiian shirts or ones with flames (in my area, there's a name for guys who wear these type of shirts, but I won't repeat it  ). The problem is, he wears them so he doesn't hurt their feelings and while he thinks they're okay, he would even rather not get them anymore. He usually only wears these shirts when he absolutely nothing left clean in his closet, they're "last resort" shirts. To help with that problem, we went out and got 4 new collars shirts. He has plenty of shirts, that's not really an issue. With his Stepdad, it's easier to say no than a coworker, so I don't know why he can't just say it. Or donate the shirts. They're never purchased just for him, the flame shirt he got because it was too small for his stepdad and his last shirt... I don't know, it was definitely used. It's not like people are buying him shirts, wrapping them up, and giving them as gifts. It's not that kind of gift.

Ah, OK. Everybody he knows is into a particular tacky style, and they want him to love it too. And if he's one of the thinner guys at work, he may be getting their too-small clothes like he is from stepdad. I think he should just say thanks and then donate the shirts.

I told you, it's bad! I need to call the "What Not To Wear" people, stat!   He is tall and lean, so yeah, hand me downs are easy to give to him.

[dks64]

Since these are not gifts being purchase for him I would suggest "I appreciate the though, but I can't use any more shirts.  Thanks.". 

DH used to have the same problem with his father.  His dad always wanted to give him hand-me-down clothing.  It was usually something dad or another relative couldn't wear anymore.  One time it was a powder blude leisure suit that had belonged to DH's uncle (who had recently passed away).  The suit was 10 sizes larger than DH wore.

He usually said "Thanks, Dad" and "forgot" it when we left.

When he wakes up, I'll tell him that one. I like it.

Oh Geez! Lol I think it's more polite to OFFER a shirt, tell them there's no obligation, and donate it if the other person doesn't want it.

[dks64]

You say he won't donate the shirts...well depending on your relationship...just because HE won't donate doesn't mean the shirts cannot slowly "disappear".

DH's parents LOVE to buy him clothes.  The problem?  DH's dad loves pink and purple (he's odd but the colors do look good on FIL)...so he buys the same colors for DH.  DH is a red head....he's also colorblind.  So, usually when I'm cleaning out the closets, these shirts seem to jump right into my donation box!  It's the oddest thing.   

"I don't know where the shirts went, I think Magiccat made them disappear." I think he's now worried that he'll offend people if he gets rid of them, I say his coworker and stepdad won't even notice. Guys don't notice these things anyway.

Lol, that's funny. I'm glad I'm not the only one with these stories. My Mom occasionally buys me clothes, but keeps the tags on them so I can return them if I want. She also always has her 3 daughters go through everything before she donates, but there's no obligation at all to take anything. She'll sometimes drop clothes off in my room and tell me "Whatever you don't want, just put them in the donation bag." That's how it should be.

[dks64]

  coworkers plural? and are these hand me downs or gifts (like secret Santa's) Hand me downs are easier to deal  with " thanks Bob but I still have the 5 shirts you gave me last month my closet if full, you should pass these on to someone who needs them"  IF they are actual gifts then there is nothing you can say except " thank you" , he can try to hint before the gift occasion. 

Does he wear the ones he has already been given?  He might have become "old man shirt" guy.  If you wear a sparkly unicorn sweater to work twice a week , you may get sparkle unicorns for EVER from coworkers for EVERY occasion........Mary, I went to Hawaii I got everyone a lei  except you sparkly unicorn for you , Hi all I'm back from Sweden chocolates for all Mary I had to look in 301 stores but here is a Swedish unicorn for you , have a baby Unicorn oneies ,  have surgery unicorn flower arrangement.  If he has become "old man shirt "guy then he best thing to do is never were a "old man " shirt to work again, it will take time for people to stop but they will eventually (especially if he replaces old man shirts with some other distinctive thing) 

Oh , you are not clear does he like the shirts? then it's likely a bad idea to try to change what he wears day to day.

This made me laugh out loud, that was awesome I'll read this post to him when he wakes up.

He mostly wears lightweight polos, which look really handsome on him. Thank goodness they're not everyday wear, it wouldn't have gone past the 1st date LOL

[kudeebee]

Why can't he say

"No, thanks.  Right now I don't need any more shirts."

For his stepdad, "XX, I appreciate your thinking of me, but I don't need any more shirts.  Why don't you donate them to Goodwill?"

If anyone leaves the shirts, throw them away or donate them immediately. Don't even bring them in the house.  I know there are clothing bins all over our city, he could find one that is close and drop off unwanted items on his way home.

[Ms_Cellany]

Hawai'ian/Flame shirts?

I'll take them!

[dks64]

Hawai'ian/Flame shirts?

I'll take them!

*boxes them up and sends them your way*

[Ms_Cellany]

Hawai'ian/Flame shirts?

I'll take them!

*boxes them up and sends them your way*

I'm actually quite serious. Hope they're 2X!

Or if they're smaller, The Sweetie can wear them in her drag persona, Vinnie. Vinnie loves tacky shirts.

[dks64]

Hawai'ian/Flame shirts?

I'll take them!

*boxes them up and sends them your way*

I'm actually quite serious. Hope they're 2X!

Or if they're smaller, The Sweetie can wear them in her drag persona, Vinnie. Vinnie loves tacky shirts.

They're Mediums. I'm going to see if I can talk bf into getting rid of them, we'll see

[Wonderflonium]

Hawai'ian/Flame shirts?

I'll take them!

*boxes them up and sends them your way*

I'm actually quite serious. Hope they're 2X!

Or if they're smaller, The Sweetie can wear them in her drag persona, Vinnie. Vinnie loves tacky shirts.

Pix or it didn't happen.