Pyscho-analyzing in threads

[housewife2k]

I see the "armchair psychoanalysis" thrown out whenever someone tells a poster to look at their past behavior or to look at the fact that this is a repeated issue for them. I think it is used mostly as a diversionary tactic by posters to keep the heat off of them.

I agree with this, which makes it even more difficult to point out when ACTUAL armchair psychoanalysis is going on. There are plenty of times when a poster is asked to look at their own behaviour, in order to get an understanding of the situation.
That is totally different from attempting to make a psychological diagnoses based on ten sentences of information coming from a single source, oftentimes second hand, or with situational bias at play.

[Venus193]

I'm probably one of the most guilty of this behavior due to my past experience as a mod on a forum for such issues.  However, I try not to jump to conclusions and I'm usually not the first reply.

There is a point where proper etiquette is inadequate to fix a situation and we need to know where that is. 

[Sandi Papaya]

I see the "armchair psychoanalysis" thrown out whenever someone tells a poster to look at their past behavior or to look at the fact that this is a repeated issue for them. I think it is used mostly as a diversionary tactic by posters to keep the heat off of them.

I agree with this, which makes it even more difficult to point out when ACTUAL armchair psychoanalysis is going on. There are plenty of times when a poster is asked to look at their own behaviour, in order to get an understanding of the situation.
That is totally different from attempting to make a psychological diagnoses based on ten sentences of information coming from a single source, oftentimes second hand, or with situational bias at play.

Agreed with both of you. If you suggest to someone to examine their past behavior, or that they keep posting about the same types of situations over and over, and that they should examine their own part in these situations, that's not armchair psychoanalysis. That's an attempt at trying to help a poster develop a degree of self-awareness. When you're in the middle of a situation it can be kind of hard to see the forest for all the trees in the way. Am I going to be offended at someone who tells me to take a step back and really look at the way I'm reacting to the same situation over and over? No...I'm going to be grateful that they pulled me far enough back out of the forest to get a fresh look at it, and see that there is, indeed, a bigger picture.

We don't always get the whole story here, either - people may attempt to paint themselves in a better light, but when the same patterns keep re-emerging it's less helpful to say, "Gee, OP! You're right! Everyone is mean to you for no reason!" than it is to say, "Wow, people seem to be mean to you an awful lot. Can you think of any reasons why this might be?" That's not armchair psychoanalysis - I'm not Freud, and I'm not here to tell you you're depressed,or bipolar, or that all your problems stem from your dysfunctional family relationships, because I don't know these things. I'm just your everyday, ordinary poster trying to tell you that you need to examine the situation for yourself and figure out where to go from there. Getting offended and telling me I'm trying to play Freud could be seen as a dodge.

[kingsrings]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

[housewife2k]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

How is asking someone to look at their own behaviour armchair psychiatry? What is the point of asking for advice if someone isn't willing to look at how their own behaviour could be cotributing to a situation?
I would understand if one were told "Look at your own behaviour, you are clearly exhibiting antisocial tendancies" or "Look at how controlling you are being in XYZ, it is not right" but that is WAY differnt from "Is there something that you have previouslly done to warrent this reaction?"

[Ruelz]

I don't mind.  I read forums, and ask questions on forums, to read people's opinions.  If there opinions are based on experience or on what they've read and deducted, they're still valuable opinions...

I'm quite capable of sorting them out for myself...

What I often find odd though, is who is considered an 'expert' on a topic vs. an amateur.  Sometimes the amateurs have the edge...

[Peggy Gus]

Can someone either point me to it, or quote this rule?

[kingsrings]

It's been mentioned by mods in various threads, but I don't know if it's been officially posted as a rule.

[kingsrings]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

How is asking someone to look at their own behaviour armchair psychiatry? What is the point of asking for advice if someone isn't willing to look at how their own behaviour could be cotributing to a situation?
I would understand if one were told "Look at your own behaviour, you are clearly exhibiting antisocial tendancies" or "Look at how controlling you are being in XYZ, it is not right" but that is WAY differnt from "Is there something that you have previouslly done to warrent this reaction?"

The bolded is what I'm referring to as being armchair psychology.

[housewife2k]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

How is asking someone to look at their own behaviour armchair psychiatry? What is the point of asking for advice if someone isn't willing to look at how their own behaviour could be cotributing to a situation?
I would understand if one were told "Look at your own behaviour, you are clearly exhibiting antisocial tendancies" or "Look at how controlling you are being in XYZ, it is not right" but that is WAY differnt from "Is there something that you have previouslly done to warrent this reaction?"

The bolded is what I'm referring to as being armchair psychology.

Ah, I see. Sorry about my reaction, then.

[tnpenguinbaby]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

Kingsrings, in the thread you initiated called "Where were you last night? Um what party?"  in post 170 Cass addressed this issue.  Jimithing had said previously "For whatever reason, it's sounding like you are being intentionally snubbed by these women, out of the blue. Can you think of any reasons at all why they see the relationship with you as having changed?"  Your reply was No armchair counseling, as stated back in the beginning of this thread.

Cass's response was pretty clear Jimithing's query was not an example of armchair counseling.  Her comment in post 26 near the beginning of the thread I think illustrates a crucial difference (the bolded is my emphasis, not Cass's) Enough of the armchair psychological assessment/treatment recommendations  for KR, please.

I believe suggesting someone examine their own behavior is a relatively common, pedestrian comment in a troubling situation.  Suggesting someone examine their own behavior and giving them a diagnosis or telling them how to go about doing it is armchair psychology.


(I apologize for the fact I am not savvy enough to have figured out how to do a direct link)

[hobish]

Jo DeDera, that is almost word for word what i was thinking.

I might not *like* being told to look at my past behaviors - it might sting a bit - but there is probably a good reason for it. I don't see that as being in the same vein as "Your mother is toxic!" or "Your boyfriend is controlling!"

[Lynn2000]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

How is asking someone to look at their own behaviour armchair psychiatry? What is the point of asking for advice if someone isn't willing to look at how their own behaviour could be cotributing to a situation?
I would understand if one were told "Look at your own behaviour, you are clearly exhibiting antisocial tendancies" or "Look at how controlling you are being in XYZ, it is not right" but that is WAY differnt from "Is there something that you have previouslly done to warrent this reaction?"

The bolded is what I'm referring to as being armchair psychology.

For the easily-confused (me)--the bolded parts were what housewife2k was saying were examples of armchair psychology, and she was saying she thinks they're bad, right? And kingsrings is agreeing with this. Right?

I think my brain is not on right today or something... Anyone want to diagnose? 

[Sandi Papaya]

How is asking someone to look at their own behaviour armchair psychiatry? What is the point of asking for advice if someone isn't willing to look at how their own behaviour could be cotributing to a situation?
I would understand if one were told "Look at your own behaviour, you are clearly exhibiting antisocial tendancies" or "Look at how controlling you are being in XYZ, it is not right" but that is WAY differnt from "Is there something that you have previouslly done to warrent this reaction?"

The bolded is what I'm referring to as being armchair psychology.
[/quote]

Suggesting to someone that they look to their own behavior in order to fix what appears to be a recurrent situation is far from an armchair diagnosis. I'm not qualified to tell someone they are A, B and C and they should look at X, Y and Z medications or therapies to fix it.

I am, however, a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks, and when something happens to me that seems eerily similar to something that's happened to me before, I try to stop and think, "Wait a minute, why is this happening?" Suggesting to someone that they stop and do the same is hardly equal to offering a diagnosis for a psychological problem.

[jimithing]

Sorry, but I do see that example as armchair psychology. That is an example of what I was talking about earlier. It's getting too deep, taking it too far.

How is asking someone to look at their own behaviour armchair psychiatry? What is the point of asking for advice if someone isn't willing to look at how their own behaviour could be cotributing to a situation?
I would understand if one were told "Look at your own behaviour, you are clearly exhibiting antisocial tendancies" or "Look at how controlling you are being in XYZ, it is not right" but that is WAY differnt from "Is there something that you have previouslly done to warrent this reaction?"

The bolded is what I'm referring to as being armchair psychology.

But how often is that happening on the board? I don't see those examples very often. I do see a lot of, "You've posted about this issue a lot, or seem to be having lots of problems with different people in your life. Could you be contributing to some of these problems?" That's not armchair diagnosing. That is suggesting someone look at their behavior, not giving a specific diagnosis.