Author Topic: Mom won't eat ANYTHING  (Read 3755 times)

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missmarple7

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Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« on: July 15, 2007, 11:24:37 AM »
I have been struggling with this issue for years. What do you do if you're hosting a party and you know someone is such a picky eater that you know they will not eat anything you will be serving? Shoud I specifically make something special for her? Example, at Thanksgiving I made a sausage and cornbread stuffing. But, I knew mom would NOT eat it so I went ahead and made a regular stuffing which was hardly touched. Then I kind of think well, if there's nothing she likes she'll have to try something or starve. What do you think?

Jaywalker

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2007, 11:33:43 AM »
"Mom I'd love to include one of your favorite dishes, would you like to bring something?  Do you have any special requests?"

then provide a few things you think she might enjoy and forget about it.

she is your mother -- you need to look out for her needs -- but not 'bite' if she is PA about gaining attention through 'not eating.' 

I might be inclined to include a bowl of applesauce and a rice pilaf or some other easy to provide (even purchased) dishes that add variety to the table and tend to be easy for picky eaters -- then relax and don't worry about it.

mkkristen

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2007, 11:50:12 AM »
I wouldn't make special dishes for her if there was something she will eat. If she will eat turkey and potatoes but not stuffing, then too bad for her she isn't getting any stuffing this year. When I have parties and provide the food I provide at least 1 meat choice, although its usually 2(no vegetarians to worry about), and several sides. If someone doesn't like my pasta salad then they can have one of the other sides served. I'm not a short order cook and I also don't want a ton of leftovers because of 1 picky person.

cicero

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2007, 11:52:18 AM »
i always make a few neutral dishes bec there are always picky people (like my DS....) but i don't cater the entire meal to their whims (if these are adults, then they can either eat what they want or whatever).

does it bother HER that there is "nothing" for her to eat? is she just that way, a nibbler, and she is ok with whatever is served

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Lisbeth

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2007, 11:56:56 AM »
Although I try to bear people's medical and religious dietary requirements in mind, I do not cater to "pickiness."

That is to say, while I do not go out of my way to serve foods that I know people won't eat out of personal preferences (when I'm aware of those personal preferences), I also do not go out of my way to prepare special dishes for them.  If they are so picky that they will not eat anything I offer, they can take care of their pickiness on their own time and money.
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blarg314

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2007, 01:02:09 PM »

I would do reasonable accomodation for tastes and dislikes - if someone can eat the majority of the dishes (that's can, not choose to) and there is variety (not all spicy dishes, or everything with mushrooms in it) then I don't worry about it.

Quite frankly, by the time you've taken dietary restrictions based on ethics, health and religion into account, that's already two full meals - pickiness rates a long way behind.

Shoo

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2007, 01:10:00 PM »
I think you should make sure you have something made that your mom loves and you know she will eat.  Even if she eats nothing else, that you went to the trouble of finding out what she would love and then made it just for her might mean the world to her.

Twik

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2007, 01:16:44 PM »
missmarple, is this a new phenomenon with your mom? Is she actually not eating things she used to, or is it that she doesn't like the sort of foods you like now?

The first one would worry me. The second one could probably be solved by adding one or two dishes that you remember from your childhood.
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ProperLady

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2007, 02:31:42 PM »
I have a similar problem with my MIL but I don't "pander" to it. My MIL is not allergic to anything, she is not vegetarian or opposed to any foods for moral reasons, and she has no dietary restrictions due to religion. She is simply a 55-year-old picky eater who refuses to grow up and I can't stand it! DH and I have discussed this at length. Actually, she is not his mother, but his stepmother, for the record. Anyway, she has done this her whole life, made scenes in restaurants and this part of her "personality" is just the tip of the iceberg. For all of these reasons, I refuse to participate in this behavior and do not go out of my way to cook anything special for her.

Luckily, they live a few states away and only come to visit once per year, but it's usually at Easter. In years past, DH has given them a call about a week ahead of the visit to discuss "menus". She has gone as far as to try and dictate everything we should serve.  I prefer ham at Easter, but she won't eat it, so since there were only four of us to feed, DH said to them, "We will cook a turkey breast." And she immediately said, "Why not a whole turkey? I like the dark meat."

Sorry, but when you dine in someone else's home, you eat what they serve! There are a few things I don't care for, such as mushrooms, and if they are in something I quietly pick them out and don't say a word. The first year they visited, she brought a cooler of "her" food and proceeded to fill up my already tiny refrigerator with it and then cook her own food in my kitchen. She thinks this is a good way to handle her "situation" but I think it's rude. 

Anyway, if this was my own mother, I'd have a talk with her about it and see what kind of compromise could be worked out. Maybe start with "Mom, I noticed you do not eat many things, and at family dinners I need to know...."  I wanted to try that with MIL but DH assures me that over the years, others have tried, and it always goes badly. But maybe with OP's mother she could be made to see that her daughter was trying to help without being totally inconvenienced and the mother would offer some suggestions and also offer to go without certain dishes to make things easier.

jimithing

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2007, 03:49:53 PM »
I may cater somewhat to picky eaters, like maybe leaving onions out of a dish, etc., but I won't change my whole game plan, especially if this is encountered frequently, as I'm sure it is if it's your mom.

My DH is a picky eater.  He won't eat anything with onions in it.  Even green onions, that you can't really taste.  I will leave things out for him, but I don't expect others to.  I had a potluck with a few close friends at my home about a month ago.  My friend was going to be making funeral potatoes, which had onions in them.  She asked about DH eating them and I told her that he could pick them out or he just wouldn't eat them.  He overheard me talking to her and he yelled loudly, "No onions!"  After I got off the phone, I laid into him about being rude and that he should not expect others to go out of their way to make special things for him because he's the picky one.

I ended up making several appetizers that my DH wouldn't eat, and one or two that he would.  I really didn't care.  Everyone else loved everything I made.  So, my friend shows up, with two pans of potatoes!  One with onions, one without, just for DH.  I told her that she really did not have to do that and it was very unnecessary.  She said that she felt bad and didn't want DH to not be able to eat them.  I gave DH the evil eye for the rest of the night.  He was as happy as a clam, though!

Suze

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2007, 04:05:35 PM »
OK - funeral potatoes?

do tell, please?

About Mom not eating -- does she do this for drama?
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jimithing

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2007, 04:15:18 PM »
OK - funeral potatoes?

do tell, please?

About Mom not eating -- does she do this for drama?

I'm not sure what they are called elsewhere, and maybe this is just a Mormon term, but they are basically shredded potatoes (hash browns), sour cream, cheese, cream of mushroom soup, and salt and pepper.  They are very good.  They are very popular in the Mormon culture.  They are named "funeral potatoes" because they are often served at the family get-togethers after a funeral.

Suze

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2007, 05:18:34 PM »
That's what I thought of when I heard the name. They sound good, care to share the recipe? or is it a "by guess and by golly" type.

We have a tendency to call those great big roasters "church roasters" because that was the only places that had such big ones when I was growing up.

(You have to cut the church up "really small" to fit it in one of them ;) )
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jimithing

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2007, 05:54:08 PM »
That's what I thought of when I heard the name. They sound good, care to share the recipe? or is it a "by guess and by golly" type.

We have a tendency to call those great big roasters "church roasters" because that was the only places that had such big ones when I was growing up.

(You have to cut the church up "really small" to fit it in one of them ;) )

Sure!  Here's a link to a version on Allrecipes.  You can add or omit things as you see fit.  My stepmom has a really good recipe, but I don't know it.  Good luck!

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Funeral-Potatoes/Detail.aspx


Suze

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Re: Mom won't eat ANYTHING
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2007, 05:59:35 PM »
thanks
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