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  • May 26, 2016, 04:07:06 AM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 337043 times)

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atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2655 on: May 18, 2016, 02:48:19 AM »
Dear Stephen,

I have got wise to you and your cheese habit, so I've been keeping it clear of you. I was quite surprised therefore to have you hurtle into the house through the patio door, corner so fast you nearly rolled and then, with the scatter of claws, vanish behind the sofa. The sound of chasing footsteps outside was similarly a shock, as was some of the language being used by next door's builder, whose mates were laughing at him if what I could hear over the fence was anything to go by.

A quick peer over the sofa did, in fact, confirm the fate of his cheese and pickle sandwich. 

My morning? Well, making cheese toasties at 7 a.m. in the morning to make up for a cat-snatched sandwich and patching the new hole in the fence with chicken wire to stop you getting out again, is not a great start to the day. 

Your morning? Involved cheese, pickles, a sandwich, and, more recently, much smug purring. You are so lucky those builders like cats.

I'm glad one of us had a good start to the day.

Regards,
Mum.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2656 on: May 18, 2016, 04:00:27 AM »
*is laughing so hard at Stephen's cheese banditry* ;D ;D ;D
"Set aphasia to stun!"

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2657 on: May 18, 2016, 07:24:29 AM »
Dear Wall-E,

I guess it's nice to have you waiting for me to come home, but it was raining (lightly) last night.  You looked like a soggy marshmallow.  Why don't you go inside when it rains?

Love,
Your human

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2658 on: May 18, 2016, 09:34:30 AM »
Oh goodness atirial. I know I shouldn't laugh, but that is hilarious. ;D

Dear Rika,

Was it really necessary to wake me fifteen minutes before my alarm went off by sneezing a massive amount of cat snot into my face?

You're going to the vet next month to get a checkup and antihistamines, bub.

Ugh,
the Not-Furry One.
"The wild roses have died, Father, and I know not what to do."


Yarnspinner

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2659 on: May 18, 2016, 03:45:32 PM »
Oh, Sweetie,

I know your Mommy and Daddy are traveling again.  I know you need massive amounts of attention.  What I don't know is what kind of attention it is you want.  You hate to be cuddled.  You get bored with the catnip string toy game.  You are the only cat in the world who hates being brushed.  And I cannot open every can of Sheba and Purina so you can select your meal yourself.  (The way you suck in the food, fifty cans would be empty in fifty minutes.)  So please, stop standing in front of me, chattering at 45 r.p.m. unless you are prepared to outline in clear English what it is you want.

p.s.  Seriously?  Your poop is impressive for such a small cat, but honey, I don't have to see every single one of them the instant you produce it.  Like all works of art, it needs time to settle in order to be appreciated when I scoop.

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2660 on: May 19, 2016, 09:18:00 AM »
Redford, dear,


I don't mind sharing my bed with you.  But sweetie, you have to leave room for me...you're a big cat and when you plop yourself down in the middle and stretch yourself out....

Can you please just move over a tiny bit so I can have room too?

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2661 on: May 19, 2016, 09:22:36 AM »
Dear Stephen,

I have got wise to you and your cheese habit, so I've been keeping it clear of you. I was quite surprised therefore to have you hurtle into the house through the patio door, corner so fast you nearly rolled and then, with the scatter of claws, vanish behind the sofa. The sound of chasing footsteps outside was similarly a shock, as was some of the language being used by next door's builder, whose mates were laughing at him if what I could hear over the fence was anything to go by.

A quick peer over the sofa did, in fact, confirm the fate of his cheese and pickle sandwich. 

My morning? Well, making cheese toasties at 7 a.m. in the morning to make up for a cat-snatched sandwich and patching the new hole in the fence with chicken wire to stop you getting out again, is not a great start to the day. 

Your morning? Involved cheese, pickles, a sandwich, and, more recently, much smug purring. You are so lucky those builders like cats.

I'm glad one of us had a good start to the day.

Regards,
Mum.

Well done, Stephen.  Well done.   ;D

Dear Sassy:

Why do you insist on getting into the bedroom, even when I'm using a foot wedge to keep you out as I open the door?  There is no food in here, no water, no cat toys.  What gives?  And what's with pawing the door so hard that you managed to jiggle it open?  We now have to lock the door at night to keep you out.  This is getting ridiculous, my girl.

Keep it up and I really am going to toss you in the garage with the dogs.  But not until I get the PetCam back up and operational...

The sleep deprived and aggravated one
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2662 on: May 19, 2016, 11:26:12 AM »
Dear Branwen,

I am aware you like the blanket I lay on the dresser. I am aware you deeply missed said blanket while it was in the wash.

So why did you feel it appropriate, when I was just falling asleep, to hork on the blanket three times, then kick it onto the floor?

You and your touchy stomach are why I can't have nice things. >:(

Now I have to do MORE laundry,
the Not-Furry One.
"The wild roses have died, Father, and I know not what to do."


Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2663 on: May 19, 2016, 12:35:43 PM »
Dear Holly,

I love that you play fetch. I think it's adorable when you bring me one of your favourite throw toys so that I can oblige you by tossing it down the hall. I even like it when you start the game by trying to stuff a toy down the back of my shirt!

That said, I don't really want to play fetch when I'm sitting on the toilet.

Love, Me.
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Yarnspinner

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2664 on: May 19, 2016, 03:38:23 PM »
Dear Holly,

I love that you play fetch. I think it's adorable when you bring me one of your favourite throw toys so that I can oblige you by tossing it down the hall. I even like it when you start the game by trying to stuff a toy down the back of my shirt!

That said, I don't really want to play fetch when I'm sitting on the toilet.

Love, Me.

Two thumbs, two big toes and lots of virtual ones up for this!

furrcats

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2665 on: May 19, 2016, 04:32:55 PM »
Outstanding :)

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2666 on: May 24, 2016, 09:12:25 AM »
Dear Matilda,

Why does a cat who doesn't like water wash herself so much that the later stages of grooming sound like she's chewing a wet sponge? I just tried to pick you up and had to wash my hands. Yuck.

Regards,
Mum

P.S. No, that does not require more grooming.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2667 on: May 24, 2016, 03:27:09 PM »
Dear cats,
It is your own fault that the two mockingbirds in the back yard are in attack mode.  Somekitty decided to bring one of their fledglings inside, upset but apparently unharmed, and leave it for me to find this morning.  I suspect Ghost the Neurotic Kitty, since she probably picked it up and dropped it when it made LOUD NOISES.  I do not like driving forty minutes each way to the wildlife refuge, since I couldn't return the bird to the nest (it's not in my yard.)

Love,
Dr. Doolittle