Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[Xallanthia]

Had a great pratfall at my BFF's home this weekend...  Sitting on a very lightweight folding chair at her kitchen table, I was trying to reach the pieces to the board game we were playing and sat forward just a touch too much.  I sat on the veeery edge of the chair, which tipped forward, dropping me square on my bottom, and then collapsed, hitting me rather hard at the base of my skull (right where my head meets my neck).

I sat there for a good 15-20 seconds trying to process what had happened, whether or not I was badly hurt, and how I could react to either without further terrifying their 8-month-old son, who was also rather startled by how fast I had crashed into his space--he was playing under the table.  Hubby and my friends were trying to get my attention during this time without much success.

Once I got back up and had determined that it was sort of funny, I felt a little rattled but it didn't really hurt much (I do have a nice big bruise now though), and the baby was soothed, my BFF's husband commented that he now had a real-life example of the roleplaying mechanic "Stunned for two rounds."

I hope you don't mind that I laughed out loud at this. Because, if my DH or I trips or stumbles or something, we're apt to say something like "Oops....blew that reflex save!"

No, it's definitely really funny--at least, his comment is.  It took me a while to be un-stunned enough to really process it, but I was still giggling about it writing that post.

[Sirius]

Years ago I was sitting on one of those chairs that has a tube in place of the four legs.  I was typing on my word processor, when I noticed that I was sitting further and further away.  Suddenly the chair's tube bent in half, and I ended up on the living room floor.  It was a slow fall so I wasn't injured, but I was laying there laughing my head off when my cat's face entered my field of view.  He had a concerned expression like, "why are you laying on the floor laughing?"  (He was a semi-Ragdoll, and they have blue eyes and very expressive faces.)

[Midnight Kitty]

Moral of the story: when you lose your spare set of car keys, get a new one - don't leave it a year and a half *facepalm*

We bought a lockbox, similar to what real estate agents use when showing a property, and put it on our front door.  Your neighbors might express concern at first that they are losing their favorite neighbor, but once you tell them it's your "lockout insurance," they'll be reassured and probably buy their own!

Our spare keys to everything are hanging on a rack right inside the front door.

[General Jinjur]

GreenEyedHawk, you reminded me: I was at the park with my sister, her friend, my boyfriend, and our dogs. I had Elsie, my dog, on a retractable line, and sat down in the middle of a field. Elsie wanted to keep racing around, so I sat down on the box part of the lead. Well, the line wrapped around my ankle and went ZIP! My sister knew I was really hurt because I didn't yell--I said "No, nononono--" softly as I tried to jump away from my leg. I ended up with a rope burn that went completely through the skin. It was deeper than the line was thick, and didn't hurt at all for the first 24 hours. Then it didn't stop hurting for 14 days. I will have a scar for the rest of my life--it looks like someone tried to cut off my foot.

That happened to me too, only mine was across the backs of both knees. Such pain, I could hardly walk for a week. Just one of the many reasons I loathe retractables.

[General Jinjur]

About three weeks ago DH and I bought a 1/2 bushel of hot peppers to can (sweet crackers are they beautiful this year!). I laid out gloves for DH and admonished him all mother-like to make sure he wears gloves while slicing/seeding the peppers.  He was careful to never take them off once during the whole process.

I however, am stuffing peppers into quart jars and mumbling "get in there already!...pesky gloves..." and tossed my right glove aside so I could stuff the jars unencumbered. I put the glove back on in a few minutes and thought nothing of it.

Capsaicin burns hurt. Hours later I've slathered my poor hand in everything from Noxema to toothpaste. I've soaked it in icewater, milk, half-n-half, vegetable oil, and aloe vera. NOTHING worked.

You bet your sweet bippy I only needed to make that mistake once.

Have you tried soaking it in red wine? That helped me.

[Brentwood]

Don't open your car's boot (trunk) and then put the keys on the parcelshelf while you switch from your pumps to your boots because you will shut the boot, leaving the keys on the parcelshelf.  This means you are then locked out of your car because you opened the boot before unlocking the rest of the car and you are also locked out of your house.  You then end up ringing your breakdown insurance company who tell you that your cover has expired so you'll have to pay the recovery man when he arrives which will be in an hour.

This means you have to sit outside in the freezing cold and dark waiting for the recovery man to arrive.  Your landlord will arrive at the same time as the recovery man and will try not to laugh at the girl in a skirt and tights with wet hair who has been sitting outside.


Moral of the story: when you lose your spare set of car keys, get a new one - don't leave it a year and a half *facepalm*

On the plus side: you hadn't locked your phone in the car too.

[GreenEyedHawk]

GreenEyedHawk, you reminded me: I was at the park with my sister, her friend, my boyfriend, and our dogs. I had Elsie, my dog, on a retractable line, and sat down in the middle of a field. Elsie wanted to keep racing around, so I sat down on the box part of the lead. Well, the line wrapped around my ankle and went ZIP! My sister knew I was really hurt because I didn't yell--I said "No, nononono--" softly as I tried to jump away from my leg. I ended up with a rope burn that went completely through the skin. It was deeper than the line was thick, and didn't hurt at all for the first 24 hours. Then it didn't stop hurting for 14 days. I will have a scar for the rest of my life--it looks like someone tried to cut off my foot.

That happened to me too, only mine was across the backs of both knees. Such pain, I could hardly walk for a week. Just one of the many reasons I loathe retractables.

Don't even get me STARTED on retractable leashes...they're at best annoying and at worst downright dangerous...as you both found out.  I was once at a local event called Pets in the Park...it's like a giant outdoor pet-related tradeshow, with animals welcome. There are always TONS of dogs and one year there was a guy with a young (not puppy but not adult) rottweiler on a retractable.  The dog was excitedly galloping through the crowd and the owner had NO control over him...the leash was clotheslining people and gave me a wicked burn across my fingers because when the dog came charging by me, I did a Stupid Thing™ and tried to grab the leash.  Event coordinators eventually asked the guy to either purchase a regular leash (TONS of them for sale at all the booths) or he had to leave.  I noticed the following year on all the adverts for the event, "No retractable leashes allowed" was added on.

[Tierrainney]

Don't open your car's boot (trunk) and then put the keys on the parcelshelf while you switch from your pumps to your boots because you will shut the boot, leaving the keys on the parcelshelf.  This means you are then locked out of your car because you opened the boot before unlocking the rest of the car and you are also locked out of your house.  You then end up ringing your breakdown insurance company who tell you that your cover has expired so you'll have to pay the recovery man when he arrives which will be in an hour.

This means you have to sit outside in the freezing cold and dark waiting for the recovery man to arrive.  Your landlord will arrive at the same time as the recovery man and will try not to laugh at the girl in a skirt and tights with wet hair who has been sitting outside.


Moral of the story: when you lose your spare set of car keys, get a new one - don't leave it a year and a half *facepalm*

On the plus side: you hadn't locked your phone in the car too.

I did almost exactly this with a rental car. I was putting a few things in the trunk preparing to go to the airport and home. Fortunately, I had my purse in hand with cell phone and the rental car agreement I had just pulled out. I didn't have roadside assistance with the rental company, but the person on the desk phone was nice enough to give me the number of several local locksmiths her company used. The guy was able to get the door open and pop the trunk lock from inside the car. And since I'm very paranoid about missing a flight, I had been packing the car early enough that I still had time to get to the airport and check in with a little time to spare.

[jpcher]

About three weeks ago DH and I bought a 1/2 bushel of hot peppers to can (sweet crackers are they beautiful this year!). I laid out gloves for DH and admonished him all mother-like to make sure he wears gloves while slicing/seeding the peppers.  He was careful to never take them off once during the whole process.

I however, am stuffing peppers into quart jars and mumbling "get in there already!...pesky gloves..." and tossed my right glove aside so I could stuff the jars unencumbered. I put the glove back on in a few minutes and thought nothing of it.

Capsaicin burns hurt. Hours later I've slathered my poor hand in everything from Noxema to toothpaste. I've soaked it in icewater, milk, half-n-half, vegetable oil, and aloe vera. NOTHING worked.

You bet your sweet bippy I only needed to make that mistake once.

Have you tried soaking it in red wine? That helped me.

Soaking what in red wine? The hand or the stomach? 

[Schmoopie3928]

Here's a doozy I did.
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=60399.msg1433733#msg1433733

Another time, I worked in a bakery/deli shop very similar to Panera.  I was the manager and one horrible Saturday I had two emps call out sick and one quit. That left me with one emp, the owner, his wife and their 13 yo son.
We were slammed at lunchtime. I'm frantic trying to get prep done, wait on customers and keep the place from going under. My only emp cut her hand on a knife. Owner has to take her to the hospital. This leaves me, Owners wife and son.
I'm about in tears by this point. I race to the back to cut more cucumbers and I'm slicing them on the meat slicer. To do this, you hold it in your hand and stop before you get to your fingers. Son is with me holding a bowl to take them as soon as I get some cut. He's watching me and says "isn't that dangerous?" I look at him while slicing say "yeah, you have to be really careful so you don't cut yourself" and pow! I nick a hunk of my thumb on the blade. I show it to him and say "see? Like that!" and promptly burst into tears. Luckily one of my guys that was off that day came in. Bless his heart. He told me it was the saddest thing he'd ever seen to find me sitting with a blood soaked towel and a tear and blood smeared face.
Mom had to get me as there was no one to take me go the hospital. No stitches, got cauterized. I get back to my car and I'm going to go home. I grab the keys and tried to turn them. With my bad thumb. Doh! And OWIE!!

[General Jinjur]

About three weeks ago DH and I bought a 1/2 bushel of hot peppers to can (sweet crackers are they beautiful this year!). I laid out gloves for DH and admonished him all mother-like to make sure he wears gloves while slicing/seeding the peppers.  He was careful to never take them off once during the whole process.

I however, am stuffing peppers into quart jars and mumbling "get in there already!...pesky gloves..." and tossed my right glove aside so I could stuff the jars unencumbered. I put the glove back on in a few minutes and thought nothing of it.

Capsaicin burns hurt. Hours later I've slathered my poor hand in everything from Noxema to toothpaste. I've soaked it in icewater, milk, half-n-half, vegetable oil, and aloe vera. NOTHING worked.

You bet your sweet bippy I only needed to make that mistake once.

Have you tried soaking it in red wine? That helped me.

Soaking what in red wine? The hand or the stomach? 

Well, both, obviously!

[furrcats]

I took the car lighter and put hot end on my thumb  Yes it was hot.  yeah that one hurt for awhile   

[Cuddlepie]

Have laughed myself silly reading this thread with a few ooooo nos thrown in for good measure.



When DD1 was about 5 months old, she loved being thrown up into the air and caught by her dad.  Being a nervous new mum I used to cringe and worried that he would miss.  Dropping the baby should have been the least of my worries as I should have been warning him to look up prior to playing this game.

We were visiting my aunt on a hot day. Dad tossed DD1 up..... into the ceiling fan.  Luckily fan was on the slow setting and by some miracle baby and fan blades did.not.touch. 

[GreenEyedHawk]

Oh my GOD, Cuddlepie, I would have had a heart attack!

[Apricot]

GreenEyedHawk, you reminded me: I was at the park with my sister, her friend, my boyfriend, and our dogs. I had Elsie, my dog, on a retractable line, and sat down in the middle of a field. Elsie wanted to keep racing around, so I sat down on the box part of the lead. Well, the line wrapped around my ankle and went ZIP! My sister knew I was really hurt because I didn't yell--I said "No, nononono--" softly as I tried to jump away from my leg. I ended up with a rope burn that went completely through the skin. It was deeper than the line was thick, and didn't hurt at all for the first 24 hours. Then it didn't stop hurting for 14 days. I will have a scar for the rest of my life--it looks like someone tried to cut off my foot.

That happened to me too, only mine was across the backs of both knees. Such pain, I could hardly walk for a week. Just one of the many reasons I loathe retractables.

Don't even get me STARTED on retractable leashes...they're at best annoying and at worst downright dangerous...as you both found out.  I was once at a local event called Pets in the Park...it's like a giant outdoor pet-related tradeshow, with animals welcome. There are always TONS of dogs and one year there was a guy with a young (not puppy but not adult) rottweiler on a retractable.  The dog was excitedly galloping through the crowd and the owner had NO control over him...the leash was clotheslining people and gave me a wicked burn across my fingers because when the dog came charging by me, I did a Stupid Thing™ and tried to grab the leash.  Event coordinators eventually asked the guy to either purchase a regular leash (TONS of them for sale at all the booths) or he had to leave.  I noticed the following year on all the adverts for the event, "No retractable leashes allowed" was added on.

Retractable leashes have no place in public.

That said, a best, they're great for hiking in heavy brush, since they stay over the grass and stuff, where the long line is more likely to get tangled. Despite that, I still use the long line now, most of the time.