Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[EmmaJ.]

I had a bad experience with a retractable leash.  While walking my dog, he spied a squirrel and took off galloping so fast I was pulled off my feet (and I'm not a lightweight!) and my shoulder slammed onto the sidewalk.  Two surgeries so far and I still have pain.

Everyone - throw those dang things away!  They're evil!

[EmmaJ.]

About three weeks ago DH and I bought a 1/2 bushel of hot peppers to can (sweet crackers are they beautiful this year!). I laid out gloves for DH and admonished him all mother-like to make sure he wears gloves while slicing/seeding the peppers.  He was careful to never take them off once during the whole process.

I however, am stuffing peppers into quart jars and mumbling "get in there already!...pesky gloves..." and tossed my right glove aside so I could stuff the jars unencumbered. I put the glove back on in a few minutes and thought nothing of it.

Capsaicin burns hurt. Hours later I've slathered my poor hand in everything from Noxema to toothpaste. I've soaked it in icewater, milk, half-n-half, vegetable oil, and aloe vera. NOTHING worked.

You bet your sweet bippy I only needed to make that mistake once.

Me too.  I was making cheese-stuffed poppers for a picnic and was cleaning 30 or 40 jalapenos.  It took a while for the pain to kick in but when it did whoooooeeeeeeee.  I tried washing my hands with soap, detergent, olive oil, salt, lemon juice, hand cream - nothing helped. 

I finally googled it and the most popular recommendation was "soak your hands in milk"  Well, I don't normally have milk on hand, being lactose intolerent.  But way in back of the fridge I did find an old carton of sour cream.  An old OLD carton.

So there I am, sitting on the couch with my hands covered in stinky rotten sour cream.    I don't know which was worse, the jalapeno pain or the sour milk smell. 

[Outdoor Girl]

I had a bad experience with a retractable leash.  While walking my dog, he spied a squirrel and took off galloping so fast I was pulled off my feet (and I'm not a lightweight!) and my shoulder slammed onto the sidewalk.  Two surgeries so far and I still have pain.

Everyone - throw those dang things away!  They're evil!

This one is my Dad's.  When he was in his early 20's, he had a large German shepherd.  So one night, after a really bad ice storm, Dad put his skates on to take the dog for a walk.  He stayed upright for about 3 strokes and then spent the rest of the walk being dragged behind this large, strong dog.

[Thipu1]

I had a bad experience with a retractable leash.  While walking my dog, he spied a squirrel and took off galloping so fast I was pulled off my feet (and I'm not a lightweight!) and my shoulder slammed onto the sidewalk.  Two surgeries so far and I still have pain.

Everyone - throw those dang things away!  They're evil!

Aargh, the retractable leash!  It's a hazard to pedestrians. 

We have many dogs in the neighborhood.  For the most part, they're well-behaved but their owners walk them along the streets with retractable leashes. 

The dog owner is sitting on a bench outside a coffee house or bakery enjoying the paper. The bench is right up against the building. The dog, however, is over by the curb.  Especially in the evening, when visibility is low, the leash becomes a real and present danger to people walking home from work. 

[Pinky830]

I had a bad experience with a retractable leash.  While walking my dog, he spied a squirrel and took off galloping so fast I was pulled off my feet (and I'm not a lightweight!) and my shoulder slammed onto the sidewalk.  Two surgeries so far and I still have pain.

Everyone - throw those dang things away!  They're evil!

This one is my Dad's.  When he was in his early 20's, he had a large German shepherd.  So one night, after a really bad ice storm, Dad put his skates on to take the dog for a walk.  He stayed upright for about 3 strokes and then spent the rest of the walk being dragged behind this large, strong dog.

My son used to put on Heelies, take the dog out on her leash, and throw the ball down the street, trying to get her to pull him on his Heelies. It never quite worked as well as he wanted it to.

[Shopaholic]

OK, I love this thread! But I haven't read all 14 pages yet

I am past mistress of stupid things. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat thinking of them...

Off the top of my head:

I once had a cleaning frenzy and scrubbed the bathroom top to bottom with bleach. It took me about an hour, and then I got bored. So I decided to dye my hair with a  DIY kit (something I had done many times before). I very carefully covered all surfaces with newspaper or plastic bags. When the time was up I stepped into the shower to rinse my hair, and then I decided to flip my hair to get the water out of my eyes. The water got out of my eyes, but the stains never got off the ceiling .

Apparently liquors do go bad... just ask anyone who tasted my chocolate balls with added Cassis liquor. Tasted like old gym socks.

I had a friend convince me to "pop" a blister once. I named the scar after him.

[Black Delphinium]

I had a bad experience with a retractable leash.  While walking my dog, he spied a squirrel and took off galloping so fast I was pulled off my feet (and I'm not a lightweight!) and my shoulder slammed onto the sidewalk.  Two surgeries so far and I still have pain.

Everyone - throw those dang things away!  They're evil!

This one is my Dad's.  When he was in his early 20's, he had a large German shepherd.  So one night, after a really bad ice storm, Dad put his skates on to take the dog for a walk.  He stayed upright for about 3 strokes and then spent the rest of the walk being dragged behind this large, strong dog.

My son used to put on Heelies, take the dog out on her leash, and throw the ball down the street, trying to get her to pull him on his Heelies. It never quite worked as well as he wanted it to.

He's lucky he didn't end up in the hospital.

[eport]

Have laughed myself silly reading this thread with a few ooooo nos thrown in for good measure.



When DD1 was about 5 months old, she loved being thrown up into the air and caught by her dad.  Being a nervous new mum I used to cringe and worried that he would miss.  Dropping the baby should have been the least of my worries as I should have been warning him to look up prior to playing this game.

We were visiting my aunt on a hot day. Dad tossed DD1 up..... into the ceiling fan.  Luckily fan was on the slow setting and by some miracle baby and fan blades did.not.touch.

My dad's family tells the story about when I was a baby how my dad was throwing me up in the air and catching me while moving from one room to the other (dining to family room after dinner). He thew me up and my head hit the top of the archway from one room to the next. Hysterical reactions ensue.

We say it explains alot about me now.

[pierrotlunaire0]

This one happened to a guy I used to work with.  He came in on Monday, walking very carefully, and carrying a donut to sit on. 

He had just gotten in line skates and had gone to the park to use them.  He had adjusted quickly, and was moving at a very fast pace.  As he was speeding along, he saw up ahead a light pole.  Ooh, how cool!  He decided to snag the light pole with his right arm, whip around 180 degrees, and speed off in the opposite direction.  He would look so cool!

So he snagged the light pole with his right arm, and as he whipped around the pole, he realized that his feet were level with his head.  How did his feet get up there? he asked himself just before he slammed his rear end into the pavement.  Cracked his tail bone, and was out of commission for skating for a few weeks.

[LadyClaire]

This one happened to a guy I used to work with.  He came in on Monday, walking very carefully, and carrying a donut to sit on. 

He had just gotten in line skates and had gone to the park to use them.  He had adjusted quickly, and was moving at a very fast pace.  As he was speeding along, he saw up ahead a light pole.  Ooh, how cool!  He decided to snag the light pole with his right arm, whip around 180 degrees, and speed off in the opposite direction.  He would look so cool!

So he snagged the light pole with his right arm, and as he whipped around the pole, he realized that his feet were level with his head.  How did his feet get up there? he asked himself just before he slammed his rear end into the pavement.  Cracked his tail bone, and was out of commission for skating for a few weeks.

I'm sorry, it must have been so terribly painful, but..I can't stop laughing at the mental image this story gives me.

[Saint Abby]

This is one happened at work to some of my co-workers. 

It was at the end of the day and I got a call from T on my office line.

T:  Can you come help K?  She locked the keys out of the car?
Me: Sure, I'll get the hanger  . . . <pause while brain processes> . . . wait, can you repeat that?
T:  Yeah, K locked the keys out of the car and can't get them.
Me:  She locked the keys OUT of the car?
T:  Yeah.
Me:  Where is she?
T:  Inside the car, she called me on her cell phone to help her get out of the car.
Me:  Where are you?
T:  Out by her car.
Me:  And she can't get out of the car?
T:  No, the door is locked and the keys are out here on the ground.
Me:  Ok, well you can pick up the keys and unlock the door for her, or she can flip the switch on the inside of the door and unlock it herself.
T:  Oh, ok.  Thanks.  I'll unlock the door.

We all laughed about the next day.

[Midnight Kitty]

Me:  And she can't get out of the car?
T:  No, the door is locked and the keys are out here on the ground.
Me:  Ok, well you can pick up the keys and unlock the door for her, or she can flip the switch on the inside of the door and unlock it herself.
T:  Oh, ok.  Thanks.  I'll unlock the door.

[Wonderflonium]

On "Family Guy," they did a cutaway in which Peter locked his keys out of his car. The cutaways are supposed to be completely ridiculous. I can't believe this actually happened! (Not that I don't believe Abby.... you know what I mean.)

[Luci45]

One time our dog and I went to get gasoline. I left my keys in the car while I pumped the gasoline and Scarlet was bouncing around inside the car and managed to lock the driver's door. I started the walk of 3 blocks to our house to get the spare set when I heard someone yell, "Hey, Lady!" I turned around and one of the attendants had the back door of the car open. She hadn't locked that one.

Right after that, there was a story in Reader's Digest about the woman who had called her husband to drive the half hour from home to bring her keys to get her into her car. Someone noticed that the back door was unlocked, so she immediately locked it. She explained that the husband would be pretty angry if he got there and found he had wasted the trip.

[bansidhe]

One time our dog and I went to get gasoline. I left my keys in the car while I pumped the gasoline and Scarlet was bouncing around inside the car and managed to lock the driver's door. I started the walk of 3 blocks to our house to get the spare set when I heard someone yell, "Hey, Lady!" I turned around and one of the attendants had the back door of the car open. She hadn't locked that one.

Right after that, there was a story in Reader's Digest about the woman who had called her husband to drive the half hour from home to bring her keys to get her into her car. Someone noticed that the back door was unlocked, so she immediately locked it. She explained that the husband would be pretty angry if he got there and found he had wasted the trip.

Oh...that reminds me: Some time back, a friend of ours came over with her eight-year-old daughter. We were talking about cars when her daughter said excitedly, "Hey mom! Remember when we were at the store and the car doors were locked and you didn't have your keys? And you had to call dad and he had to drive all the way to the store to help us? And then dad saw the keys on the roof of the car because you put them there and forgot about them? And he was really mad?"

My friend just muttered, "Thanks for sharing, honey" and changed the subject.