Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[Irishkitty]

I'm an occasional victim of the "ohnosecond" - that infinitesimal slice of time where you realize you've done something dumb but it's too late to stop yourself.

Do you ever stand there futilely shouting "Control-Z! Control-Z!"?

(I do. )

Wow, I was just talking to DH the other week and he mentioned that he does that! Well, he does "Command-Z" or the mac equivalent

[GreenEyedHawk]

Re: eating cookie dough.

I used to have a recipe for cookie dough...not cookies, cookie dough...that had no eggs in it and was meant to be eaten raw. You could bake it and the cookies were good, but it was specifically created for those more interested in eating raw cookie dough.  I'll try and find it if anyone's interested.

[Lady Snowdon]

In college, my DH lived with a bunch of other guys, only one of whom knew anything about cooking.  One night, at the end of the year, my DH and one of the other guys who didn't know how to cook were trying to clean out the fridge and freezer and decided to cook some ground beef and make tacos.  They thought the ground beef looked a little weird, but decided to cut off the greenish looking bits and cook the rest.  I think they were going off the idea that you can do that with cheese. 

I'm sure everyone reading this can guess where the story is going, right?  DH and friend were miserable for a couple days, everyone who knows anything about cooking was disgusted, and the first thing I taught DH about cooking was how to tell if meat was still good to eat. 

[LadyMisha]

I'm sure everyone reading this can guess where the story is going, right?  DH and friend were miserable for a couple days, everyone who knows anything about cooking was disgusted, and the first thing I taught DH about cooking was how to tell if meat was still good to eat.

Oh... my....   

Poor guys - thank goodness he found you!

[doodlemor]

I brushed my teeth with Desitin.  Twice.  It tastes appalling, and it's very hard to get the stuff out of one's toothbrush.

I now make sure that the Desitin is not stored any where near the tooth cleaning things or the sink.


[For those of you not in the US - Desitin is a heavy cream in a tube sold for use on baby bums, to prevent diaper rash.]

[JustEstelle]

I was eating some chocolate Riesens once while waiting on a movie to start.  Just chomping and smacking away.  Had a thought of, "I sure hope this gooey stuff doesn't pull of my crown" just seconds before - you guessed it - I pulled off the crown.  It was a Sunday and my dentist wasn't available.  So it was off to the store for some denture adhesive for a quick fix.  Later told my dentist about it and he laughed his bottom off at me.

[CuriousGeorge]

Re: eating cookie dough.

I used to have a recipe for cookie dough...not cookies, cookie dough...that had no eggs in it and was meant to be eaten raw. You could bake it and the cookies were good, but it was specifically created for those more interested in eating raw cookie dough.  I'll try and find it if anyone's interested.

Yes! Yes!  A thousand times yes!

[GreenEyedHawk]

    1/2 cup unsalted butter/shortening
    1/4 cup sugar
    1 teaspoon vanilla
    3/4 cup all-purpose flour, plus 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
    1/8 teaspoon baking powder
    1/2 cup chunky chocolate pieces or chocolate chips.  M&Ms are good too
    1/4 cup pecan halves, salted, roasted (optional)

Cream butter and sugar together in a bowl, beat in vanilla, add flour and baking powder.  Stir in chocolate chips/chunks/candy/nuts/whatever.
  If you're actually interested in baking them, the recipe says the dough balls should be quite large, about lemon-sized (!!!), bake at 300F for 45 minutes or until the cookies are nicely browned around the edges.  You can substitute margarine for butter with no issues.  Dough is perfectly safe to eat raw.  It's also good in vanilla ice cream.

[Irishkitty]

Not me but a friend:

Accidentally mistook the hair removal cream tube for the toothpaste.

Gagcht! She was rinsing her mouth out for 30 mins. What I think made it worse was that when it happened we were on a sleep-over at a friends so it wasn't even her own cream... ick.   

[lilfox]

I may have posted this before, but my worst recent "ohnosecond" was going through a drive-up ATM.  I remembered to retrieve my card.  I did not remember to retrieve my cash.  Well, until I was out on the road again - made an immediate turn back but it was too late.     At least I made someone's day!

(Karma is pretty fair, though, in the past couple of years I've found at least as much money on the ground as I left sitting in the ATM.)

[pierrotlunaire0]

One time I went in to catch up on paperwork on a Saturday.  I hear someone banging on the outer door, and I glance out there to see a police officer motioning for me to come to the door.  The office has 2 doors, and I exit making sure that the outer door will not lock behind me.  But I forgot about the inner door.  The policeman had been responding to a call of an abandoned car in the parking lot, and when he saw someone working at the DMV, he assumed I had made the call, hence him knocking for me to come out.

The officer was nice enough to make some calls for me, but I had such a D'oh! feeling when I realized that the inner door was locked, and my purse was inside.

[Scottie]

My poor child was the victim of one of my "doh" moments. He was almost 2 and was playing naked in our (back, fenced) garden. He wanted to go down the slide but Ii told him it wouldn't work because his bottom wouldn't be slippery enough.

Aha! I thought. I can pour water down it while he slides. He slid alright. Like greased lightning - and shot a good 10 metres or so along the grass at the end. Poor kid didn't know whether to laugh or cry and did a bit of both. I was mortified. Thankfully the grass burns were not too bad :-(

[cicero]

My poor child was the victim of one of my "doh" moments. He was almost 2 and was playing naked in our (back, fenced) garden. He wanted to go down the slide but Ii told him it wouldn't work because his bottom wouldn't be slippery enough.

Aha! I thought. I can pour water down it while he slides. He slid alright. Like greased lightning - and shot a good 10 metres or so along the grass at the end. Poor kid didn't know whether to laugh or cry and did a bit of both. I was mortified. Thankfully the grass burns were not too bad :-(

i'm sorry but i can't stop laughing at this.

[bansidhe]

once i had a temporary crown. i was dozing and the crown came out. instead of taking it out of my mouth and putting it somewhere safe, i figured that i'll just stick it back in. yup, i swallowed it... thankfully it was just a temp...

I'll bet that came back to bite you in the butt later. Literally. 

[blueyzca01]

Hmmmm.......you must be referring to my husband's birthday this last August. He wanted pizza for his birthday so I made some pizza dough and put it to rise in the oven like I always do. See where this is going? Yep, I preheat the oven to cook the pizza dough and right about when the oven hit 425 I realized the rising dough was still in the oven.  Sadly, there was no saving the dough, and I had to scrub the ehell out of the friggin bowl to get it clean. (as an added bonus, the bread sticks I made were god awful). My poor husband wound up w/Papa John's for his birthday pizza dinner.

I did this but with cheesecake!  I was in a hurry to get started, and the blocks of cream cheese weren't quite at room temperature, so I put them in a bowl and stuck it in the unheated oven, figuring it would speed up the process. 

Then I decided to make the cookie crumb crust, and Ding Ding turned on the oven to preheat it.  I remembered the cream cheese about 10 minutes later.  And while it was runnier than I believe the recipe author intended it to be, I wasn't about to throw out 3 containers of cheese, which were not on sale.  (I thank/blame my beloved Irish grandma for the cheapness!  )

Fortunately, the cheesecake turned out great, but now I'm paranoid about checking the oven before touching anything.