Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[Anniissa]

The "stock in the sink" incident did make me laugh a lot too (and her...eventually  ) Now I guess it's only fair I tell one about myself. I can't remember what I was cooking, possibly lamb rump or some such, but it was something that you needed to start by browning in a frying pan on the hob and then transfer to the oven to finish cooking through. Fortunately, I had frying pans with metal handles that can also go in the oven so it saves on washing up (always a good thing!). The key thing is to remember that the handle will be very hot so you need to use oven gloves when getting it out of the oven. This time, as always, I was v careful to have the oven gloves ready and use them to remove pan from oven to put it on the hob so I could get at the meat. I turn round to get a plate and then realise I need to move the pan a bit - it was only the second my hand was touching the handle to move it that I remembered it had just come out of the oven  Fortunately, I didnt make too much contact so it could have been worse. Boy did I feel stupid though!

[LB]

I was preparing a dinner to take over to my parent's house one night. I needed to slice some potatoes, and I have a mandoline slicer that I had only used a few times. I sliced the first potato with no problem. I grabbed the second and got it halfway done, but the last half was being difficult. It kept slipping in the guard and I couldn't keep it in place to slice. So...I decided to try to slice it without the guard. On my first slide down the blade, the potato slipped out of my hand and I ran my thumb down hard on the blade. Dinner was pretty much ruined, since no one would have wanted those potatoes.  And besides, I was pretty late coming home from the emergency room. It was cut pretty deep, but at least they were able to glue it together, rather than stitching it up.

If you have a mandoline slicer, always use the hand guard!

[Wonderflonium]

If you have a mandoline slicer, always use the hand guard!

Preach on! I have a scar on the middle finger of my left hand that's a testament to that.

[Xallanthia]

I have burned myself more times than I like to think about, in the kitchen.  I only really regret two of them, because they've caused me to get awkward questions--they look like self-injury scars.  One is a thick line across all the tendons on my wrist (friend's frying pan was taller than mine) and the other is a thin line that goes down the middle of my arm from elbow to wrist (cookie sheet).

I've come very close to pouring out all the lovely stock, before.  I poured about 1/2 cup before my brain went "WAIT NO STOP!" and I fixed it.

[portiafimbriata]

About three weeks ago DH and I bought a 1/2 bushel of hot peppers to can (sweet crackers are they beautiful this year!). I laid out gloves for DH and admonished him all mother-like to make sure he wears gloves while slicing/seeding the peppers.  He was careful to never take them off once during the whole process.

I however, am stuffing peppers into quart jars and mumbling "get in there already!...pesky gloves..." and tossed my right glove aside so I could stuff the jars unencumbered. I put the glove back on in a few minutes and thought nothing of it.

Capsaicin burns hurt. Hours later I've slathered my poor hand in everything from Noxema to toothpaste. I've soaked it in icewater, milk, half-n-half, vegetable oil, and aloe vera. NOTHING worked.

You bet your sweet bippy I only needed to make that mistake once.

[mariejkt]

I was preparing a dinner to take over to my parent's house one night. I needed to slice some potatoes, and I have a mandoline slicer that I had only used a few times. I sliced the first potato with no problem. I grabbed the second and got it halfway done, but the last half was being difficult. It kept slipping in the guard and I couldn't keep it in place to slice. So...I decided to try to slice it without the guard. On my first slide down the blade, the potato slipped out of my hand and I ran my thumb down hard on the blade. Dinner was pretty much ruined, since no one would have wanted those potatoes.  And besides, I was pretty late coming home from the emergency room. It was cut pretty deep, but at least they were able to glue it together, rather than stitching it up.

If you have a mandoline slicer, always use the hand guard!

I did the exact same thing.  Except it was at my own apartment and I did leave a note for my husband when I drove myself with our toddler to the ER.  He kinda freaked when he got home and seen all the blood and no me or our son.  We only had one car so he ran to the Emgernecy Room.  It was no big deal to me as I am big klutz!

[Bexx27]

Not food-related, but definitely stupid. Two years ago, while suffering from new baby sleep deprivation, I renewed my car's registration through 2011 and got new stickers to put on the license plates. There were 2 stickers marked "11" for the expiration year; one for the right side of the front license plate, one for the right side of the back license plate. The left side of both license plates has the month, which never changes. I put one of the stickers on the right side of the back license plate. Then somehow my sleep-deprived brain decided that the other sticker must be for the month (it was November), so I stuck in on the left side.

I didn't have an ohnosecond - the mistake didn't even occur to me until I was on the road. I tried to peel off the left sticker, but it would only come off in shreds after extensive scraping with my key. So until I renew the registration again next month, my front license plate still says "09." I was reminded of that this morning when I was pulled over for it. D'oh.

Actually, I did a lot of pretty stupid things during those sleep-deprived months when I had a young baby. Like setting down my purse - keys, cell phone, and all - in my trunk before loading the groceries in, clearly thinking to myself, "remember to get your purse before you close the trunk," and then closing the trunk anyway with the purse inside.  And DH still makes fun of me for the time I poured the pasta into the sink to drain (at least I remembered the collander!) while aiming the pot toward me so I got a faceful of steam, then wailing, "I just poured boiling water in my face!"

[blueyzca01]

If you have a mandoline slicer, always use the hand guard!

Preach on! I have a scar on the middle finger of my left hand that's a testament to that.

I did this, also with potatoes, the very first time I used one.  Man, my thumb just.would.not.stop bleeding.  Guards are your friends!

[Ginger G]

Just last night, my boyfriend decided to make himself a sundae with mint chocolate chip ice cream and hot fudge sauce.  Too bad he ended up with mint chocolate chip ice cream with chinese hoisin sauce topping!

[Fleur-de-Lis]

Just last night, my boyfriend decided to make himself a sundae with mint chocolate chip ice cream and hot fudge sauce.  Too bad he ended up with mint chocolate chip ice cream with chinese hoisin sauce topping!

Ohhh noo!

A friend of mine received a "chocolate" sundae.  Unfortunately, it was ice cream and balsamic vinegar. 

[alegria]

If you have a mandoline slicer, always use the hand guard!

Preach on! I have a scar on the middle finger of my left hand that's a testament to that.

Annnnd this is why I won't buy a mandolin slicer....

[shadowfox79]

My best friend finally decided she would take the plunge and make some homemade stock. After lovingly simmering it for three or four hours she takes it to the sink to strain it. Somehow she completely forgot the need to put something under it to strain the stock into and only realises as she watches all the lovely stock drain straight down the sink whilst she's left with the colander of bones and wilted veg. Strangely enough she's never attempted it again 

I did this the first time I attempted tom yam goong. Fortunately I had enough ingredients for a second attempt - and then I didn't like it.

[evil_xylo]

Hmmmm.......you must be referring to my husband's birthday this last August. He wanted pizza for his birthday so I made some pizza dough and put it to rise in the oven like I always do. See where this is going? Yep, I preheat the oven to cook the pizza dough and right about when the oven hit 425 I realized the rising dough was still in the oven.  Sadly, there was no saving the dough, and I had to scrub the ehell out of the friggin bowl to get it clean. (as an added bonus, the bread sticks I made were god awful). My poor husband wound up w/Papa John's for his birthday pizza dinner.

I did this but with cheesecake!  I was in a hurry to get started, and the blocks of cream cheese weren't quite at room temperature, so I put them in a bowl and stuck it in the unheated oven, figuring it would speed up the process. 

Then I decided to make the cookie crumb crust, and Ding Ding turned on the oven to preheat it.  I remembered the cream cheese about 10 minutes later.  And while it was runnier than I believe the recipe author intended it to be, I wasn't about to throw out 3 containers of cheese, which were not on sale.  (I thank/blame my beloved Irish grandma for the cheapness!  )

Fortunately, the cheesecake turned out great, but now I'm paranoid about checking the oven before touching anything.

I have set my oven on fire a few times doing this.  Once I had a store bought plastic tub of cookies in the oven and went to bake a pizza.  The plastic melted and some of the melty bits flamed in the bottom of the oven.

I've also accidentally set a piece of paper on a hot burner and lit my stove on fire.  I've turned on the wrong burner and set and burned up a box of pasta too.

I set my kitchen on fire frighteningly often.  I keep a huge thing of salt by my stove for putting out fires now.

[evil_xylo]

I have burned myself more times than I like to think about, in the kitchen.  I only really regret two of them, because they've caused me to get awkward questions--they look like self-injury scars.  One is a thick line across all the tendons on my wrist (friend's frying pan was taller than mine) and the other is a thin line that goes down the middle of my arm from elbow to wrist (cookie sheet).

I've come very close to pouring out all the lovely stock, before.  I poured about 1/2 cup before my brain went "WAIT NO STOP!" and I fixed it.

I've had some good duh moments that resulted in burns too.  Once I was cooking something in a dutch oven in a 400f oven.  I took it out of the oven, put it on the stove, turned around to put my oven mitt down and then grabbed the very hot dutch oven.

I was trying to boil sugar once, but my candy thermometer said it wasn't getting hot and it wasn't boiling at that point so I brilliantly stuck my finger into the pot to see if it was hot.  It was.  I ended up sleeping with a piece of Aloe on my finger.

[Luci]

About 5 years ago, I left my credit card at a restaurant in Key West as we were leaving town. We run 2 credit cards, so it was easy, but scary, to cancel the one I left. (Of course I've done that in town, but it is so easy to go back to get it that it's now worth telling.)

A year ago last spring, I had been to the doctor 25 miles away, got some bad news, went to McDonald's to calm down with a breakfast burrito (or 2), locked my keys in the car. So I called my husband and he grabbed his keys to come help. He got there, and it turned out he had grabbed the motorhome keys, not my extra set for the car I was driving.

About 6 years ago, we were on the ferry to Vancouver Island and parked our tiny motorhome right next to the of the wall, so I had to get out of the driver's door - that is pretty hard, not just scootching across a seat. For some peculiar reason, my husband left his keys in the ignition, and I, who always make it a habit to carry an extra set in my pocket, had thrown mine on the floor in all my maneuvers to get out of the driver's door, and then out of habit slapped the doorlock while shutting the door. Security didn't seem too upset, but we did miss about half of that lovely ride in the bowels of the ferry watching them try to unlock our vehicle instead of in the observation lounge.