Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[Yvaine]

I've had some good duh moments that resulted in burns too.  Once I was cooking something in a dutch oven in a 400f oven.  I took it out of the oven, put it on the stove, turned around to put my oven mitt down and then grabbed the very hot dutch oven.

I had one kind of like this too. I was working in a cafeteria and was baking cookies. We had crummy old oven mitts that were falling apart--this is important later. I went to get a cookie sheet out of the oven and, since they were light, only put one oven mitt on since I only needed one hand to carry the tray.

...Except that mitt was developing a hole in the spot between the thumb and forefinger. Yeouch! So what did I do? Did I do the sensible thing and just let the tray drop? Oh, no. I grabbed it with my bare hand. Mega yeouch. Then I dropped the tray. From that point on, my co-workers thought I was weird, because I would never handle anything hot without mitting up both hands.

You never realize how much you use that space between your thumb and forefinger until you have it burned on both hands at the same time. Washing my hair was particularly...interesting. Fortunately it didn't scar, though I have plenty of other food-service scars.

[LadyClaire]

DH went to the doctor and found out that he has high cholesterol. So he went on a strict diet, and started supplementing with things that are supposed to help lower cholesterol, like Metamucil. I went out and bought him a big canister of Metamucil to stir into his drinks. The first night he used it, I hear him stirring the glass of liquid and then he said "wow, this stuff is really thick..."

I went in there to take a look, and discovered that he'd misread the directions, which are "one teaspoon up to three times a day in liquid". DH read it as "three tablespoons", and had just fixed himself a glass of metamucil laced juice so thick it looked more like oatmeal.

Luckily I stopped him before he drank it..I can't imagine what havoc that would have wreaked on his digestive system.

[LadyClaire]

I was eating some chocolate Riesens once while waiting on a movie to start.  Just chomping and smacking away.  Had a thought of, "I sure hope this gooey stuff doesn't pull of my crown" just seconds before - you guessed it - I pulled off the crown.  It was a Sunday and my dentist wasn't available.  So it was off to the store for some denture adhesive for a quick fix.  Later told my dentist about it and he laughed his bottom off at me.

This is why I do not let myself have Riesens, though I love and adore them. I have three crowns and multiple fillings, and I just KNOW I'd end up pulling something off/out.

[Hijinks]

I'm an occasional victim of the "ohnosecond" - that infinitesimal slice of time where you realize you've done something dumb but it's too late to stop yourself.

Do you ever stand there futilely shouting "Control-Z! Control-Z!"?

(I do. )

I totally do!  I bought a sketchbook and was sketching while curled up on the couch and told my husband, that instead of going for the pencil, I had a very quick "control Z!" moment (I use Photoshop a lot for digital scrapbook designing).

[Maujer]

Just last night, my boyfriend decided to make himself a sundae with mint chocolate chip ice cream and hot fudge sauce.  Too bad he ended up with mint chocolate chip ice cream with chinese hoisin sauce topping!

Ohhh noo!

A friend of mine received a "chocolate" sundae.  Unfortunately, it was ice cream and balsamic vinegar. 

This is actually very good with good vanilla ice cream, fresh strawberries, and sugar. Or at least I think so.

[Eeep!]

When I was in college I decided to fix myself a bagel that I thought was thawed.  So I set about slicing it, holding it with my left hand and cutting it towards my palm.  You know, pretty much exactly how your mother told you not to do.  So, I'm cutting away and I hit the center portion of it which apparently was still frozen and the knife veered wildly into my thumb. 

I had to walk to the clinic with my hand held above my head.  Turns out I just missed hitting my tendon, which is good, plus it was fascinating looking at the various layers of my skin while I waited to get in, but I was worried what my roomate would think coming home to find a kitchen with a lovely huge arch of blood splattered across the wall.

Turns out roomate didn't come home before I had time to clean it, I still have a scar [mumble mumble] years later and I have never cut a bagel that way again. (At least not a frozen one.  )

[CakeBeret]

I just remembered this.

Last winter, we had had a decent snowfall. Probably 3-4 inches. DH was doing something in the garage and called me to move one of the cars. I was very reluctant and said I didn't want to get dressed and go outside in that weather. He said don't bother getting dressed, just run out here and hop in the car. So I complied, wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops.

He wanted to switch the positions of our 2 cars, so I had to back one car out onto the street, wait for him to pull his car out, and then pull my car in. So I pull my car out into the street, and DH decides that it's a fantastic time to start doing something else. Minutes tick by. I honk at DH occasionally and he makes "just a minute" gestures. Finally another car comes down the street, and I can't keep blocking it, so I decide to drive down the street, turn around, and drive back home.

I turn around on an intersecting street, which apparently got MUCH more snow than my street did. My car is stuck. I am still wearing shorts and flip-flops. I do not have my cell phone, as DH insisted that this would just take a second. Home is half a block away, uphill. It takes me half an hour to maneuver my car off the side street and get back home. When I got home and told DH what happened, he said "Well what did you do that for?"

[Fleur-de-Lis]

I just remembered this.

Last winter, we had had a decent snowfall. Probably 3-4 inches. DH was doing something in the garage and called me to move one of the cars. I was very reluctant and said I didn't want to get dressed and go outside in that weather. He said don't bother getting dressed, just run out here and hop in the car. So I complied, wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops.

He wanted to switch the positions of our 2 cars, so I had to back one car out onto the street, wait for him to pull his car out, and then pull my car in. So I pull my car out into the street, and DH decides that it's a fantastic time to start doing something else. Minutes tick by. I honk at DH occasionally and he makes "just a minute" gestures. Finally another car comes down the street, and I can't keep blocking it, so I decide to drive down the street, turn around, and drive back home.

I turn around on an intersecting street, which apparently got MUCH more snow than my street did. My car is stuck. I am still wearing shorts and flip-flops. I do not have my cell phone, as DH insisted that this would just take a second. Home is half a block away, uphill. It takes me half an hour to maneuver my car off the side street and get back home. When I got home and told DH what happened, he said "Well what did you do that for?"

If *he* wanted to switch the two cars, why did you move your car first? 

[CakeBeret]

If *he* wanted to switch the two cars, why did you move your car first? 

I really don't remember, but I think it made sense at the time.

[mmmchocolate]

A million years ago in my way younger days I decided to have a baked potato for dinner.  Turned the oven to 400, popped the tater in and left.  About 45 minutes later went to check it and realized I had forgotten to light the oven.  So I lit the match and held it close and VAROOOOOOOOOOOOM a huge fireball exploded out and singed off my eyebrows, eyelashes, bangs and the hair at the side of my face.  Also?  burned eyeballs feel like they have an entire beach of sand in them.

That was a fun ER trip!

[SiotehCat]

The winter before last, we got an incredible amount of snow. I didn't go into work that morning and was enjoying my sleep when my dh calls me. His usual thirty minute walk to work took him two hours and when he finally got there, he found a note on the door saying they were closed.

So, I run to the car in my pajama shorts and slippers. I brush all the loose snow with my arm and then start scrapping the ice off my wind shield. I was thinking of how stupid I looked and how cold I was when I realized that it wasnt my car.

[Kimblee]

The winter before last, we got an incredible amount of snow. I didn't go into work that morning and was enjoying my sleep when my dh calls me. His usual thirty minute walk to work took him two hours and when he finally got there, he found a note on the door saying they were closed.

So, I run to the car in my pajama shorts and slippers. I brush all the loose snow with my arm and then start scrapping the ice off my wind shield. I was thinking of how stupid I looked and how cold I was when I realized that it wasnt my car.

Aww, that's awful! It sounds like something i would do.

But just think what a nice surprise it was for whoever came out for a drive and found their car already de-iced! (Does that make you feel better?)

[Julia Mercer]

I posted this in another thread a while back, but had to share on this one, lol

I was eating cream of mushroom soup one day and usually slop a bit on my shirt and scrape it off with my spoon and eat it, well this time I had just put hand cream on and you guessed it, got some cream on my shirt and scraped it off with my spoon, thinking it was soup, needless to say, hand cream and cream of mushroom soup have TWO totally different flavors, lol, I was gagging for a while after that, lol!

[Eisa]

Let's see. My mom did this once. She was heating up some lasagna and neglected to check the bottom of the pan--a piece of paper had gotten stuck. It's always great to look into the kitchen and see that it's COMPLETELY filled with smoke...

And this would be bad, if I did not know myself. I like getting blocks of cheddar cheese and I will cut off pieces to nom. I use a plastic knife to do so. My aunt asked me one time why I didn't use a proper knife, and I didn't really have an answer. After doing this repeatedly, I now have an answer. I would be bleeding all over the place if I used a proper knife, considering the amount of times I hit some part of my hand with the plastic knife's business edge.

[JustEstelle]

Just remembered another one I did. 

I was visiting my parents and decided to make a coconut cream pie.  I put the coconut in a pan to toast it in the oven . . . and left it a little too long.  I started to smell it and opened the oven to check on it.  Introducing oxygen to the hot coconut caused it to burst into flames . . . which went up the front of the stove and melted one of the knobs.  I did a jog-in-place "oh, holy carp!"dance, going, "Oh!  Oh!  Oh!"

My mother ran into the kitchen, went straight to the pantry, grabbed a huge box of baking soda and dumped it on the fire.

Mom and Dad were living in an apartment and I had to be the one to go 'fess up to the manager, who was a close family friend.  She about fell out of her chair laughing at me but gave us a replacement knob to repair the stove.

I have never attempted another coconut cream pie since.