Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[snowfire]

We had a printer that behaved like that.  The only thing that fool printer understood was violence.  If you picked it up and slammed it down on the desk it would work, or if you hit it really hard with your fist.  It met its demise when Dad dropped it out the upstairs window.  (Yes, my family has a bit of an anger problem with inanimate objects, why do you ask?   )

   I do understand!!!  After pulling jammed bits of paper out of the printer at work for about the 10th time in one day, I told the boss that I was coming in with my friend Mr. 12 gauge tomorrow if she didn't get a new printer ASAP.  She knew that I was deadly serious.  I had a new printer by the end of the day.  (The offending printer would jam about 5 sheets for every one that it would run through.  The entire printer had to be opened up and the offending pieces pulled out with pliers since it would tear each sheet into multiple chunks which would get crammed into the most improbable places.)

[Seraphia]

We had a printer that behaved like that.  The only thing that fool printer understood was violence.  If you picked it up and slammed it down on the desk it would work, or if you hit it really hard with your fist.  It met its demise when Dad dropped it out the upstairs window.  (Yes, my family has a bit of an anger problem with inanimate objects, why do you ask?   )

   I do understand!!!  After pulling jammed bits of paper out of the printer at work for about the 10th time in one day, I told the boss that I was coming in with my friend Mr. 12 gauge tomorrow if she didn't get a new printer ASAP.  She knew that I was deadly serious.  I had a new printer by the end of the day.  (The offending printer would jam about 5 sheets for every one that it would run through.  The entire printer had to be opened up and the offending pieces pulled out with pliers since it would tear each sheet into multiple chunks which would get crammed into the most improbable places.)

I had a hideous glutton of a printer too. You had to feed it one piece of paper at a time, or it would eat seven or eight in a stack, print one or two lines of text on each sheet, spit most of them back out, and jam. That one occasionally responded to threats, but it seems to be far more afraid of my husband than me. He never has any problems printing.

[Snooks]

My smugness at catching the cat from in the bushes this morning was over-turned when I realised that it was wet and he'd been in the bushes so his muddy little paws were making a lovely mess on my nice clean top.

[pierrotlunaire0]

I did something really ditsy.  About a month ago, I ordered some books from Amazon.  They were shipped in 2 different shipments.  I received one, but the other seemed to be taking forever.  Then a neighbor brought me the torn shreds of the missing box along with the torn shreds of the books in it.  I think a kid saw the book sitting on my porch, stole it, was disappointed that there was only some books inside and destroyed it.

Now this package only put me out a little money, but I do on occasion order some expensive stuff.  I can't receive personal packages at work (HR policy), but there is a post office about 1/4 mile away from where I work.

I rent a PO box at the post office, and do another order.  I wait, and wait, and wait.  I check my status on Amazon, and it shows delivered last Saturday.  So I talk to the clerk at the PO, and she points out that on my address that I was using has the wrong city.  Although I work in Town A, the PO just down the road is Town B.  My stuff was delivered to a PO in Town B.  That PO is about 5 miles away.  And my PO box number is rented by someone else, and therefore my books have been returned to Amazon.

Despite the fact that my box rental agreement says Town B, and the sign at the PO itself says Town B.  What a ditsy thing to do.

(PS - Amazon has been so nice about it.  They immediately credited my account, and gave me free shipping on the reorder although I told them it was my fault)

[cabbagegirl28]

I've decided to make some letters-shirts for my little, since I didn't give her as many as I'd like. BG for those who don't know what I'm talking about: When I say letters-shirts, I mean shirts with the Greek letters of my fraternity.

However, I had several facepalmy moments.

A. I couldn't iron one set of letters unless I wanted to give Little what were fuzzy snowman letters that got melted by my iron. Still ended up accidentally ironing one of the letters and needing to replace it.
B. I accidentally ironed a small part of my carpet (It's my personal carpet, not my roommate's or the school's, thank goodness!).
C. I had to completely restitch one letter on the unironable letters-shirt because it looked like I sewed it on while I was on stuff I have never consumed in my life.

That's not my first issue with sewing though. I've had major thread knot disasters and a burn on my hand (which is still visible) from not putting the iron on the piece of cardboard serving as an ironing board. I've stuck my needle in my leg because I forgot I was wearing shorts instead of jeans (I put the needle in my jeans to hold it), I've "found" 5 of my needles while cleaning in my bare feet, and I came somewhat close to threading my lip.

I swear, I'm not this ridiculous all the time. 

[kareng57]

KimberlyM, my mother once did the same thing when she borrowed my car; the nice tow truck guy showed up, put the car in park, and started it up.  You're not alone.

There's something about driving an unfamiliar car, isn't there?  Once a friend and I traded vehicles for a few days (both automatic) and like a PP I couldn't figure out how to get the keys out of the ignition.  I was at work, and luckily the "light" came on after a few minutes.  I was all set to go in and ask one of the guys for help - I would have been the office laughingstock for years......

And the time I drove Dh's new car to work for the first time, I managed to lock the keys in it.  It too is an automatic, but it's got the centre pull-up parking brake rather than the van's foot-pedal parking brake so you end up doing things in kind of a different order.  Of course I'd also left my purse in prominent view on the passenger seat.  Luckily it was his day off so he came to the rescue in about a half hour but he wasn't too impressed.

[White Dragon]

I have taken the car to the shop because "the door only works if you open it from the outside, not the inside."
The shop charged me $35 to' fix' it, and showed me where the clearly marked child safety latch was. 

DH's boss took her car to the shop. It was making a strange sound in the back end every time she went around a corner.
The sound wasn't on one side, it changed depending on which way she was turning.
The fix? $50 and a notation that said "Removed log from trunk."

[siamesecat2965]

Mine was last night and today.  I have a laptop, but no wi fi at home.  just never got around to switching.  I'm away, with my mom, and and the hotel has free wi fi.  which i cannot connect too, and the trouble shoot says "turn on the wi fi button"  Which I CANNOT find.  I'm really irritated, so last night i said the heck with it, and left it alone.  today, i tried again, and FINASLLY realized the button right. next. to. the power button is the wi fi button.  the same one i play with all the time and have no clue what it is.  needless to say, i am now connected via wifi

[bansidhe]

I can add two stupid car stories.

One: I was 18 when I got my very first car, and shortly after I acquired it, it developed a rather alarming problem. Every so often, it would just keel over dead. This frequently happened just as a traffic light turned green and I started to accelerate. It would then start right back up again.

I told my father about it and he agreed that we'd better take it to the shop so I scheduled an appointment for the next day. Because it happened so often at traffic lights, I decided to sit in the driver's seat and go through the motions of shifting gears and accelerating like you would do when a light turned green to see if I could turn up any clues. The third time I went through the motions, as I let out the clutch, my right knee hit the largish decorative soccer ball on my keychain, which in turn hit the key hard enough to turn it in the ignition and shut the car off.

Yep...that's what had been happening all along and in my haste to re-start the car, I just hadn't noticed that the key was turned. 

On the plus side, it was a cheap fix. On the minus side, I felt like a complete moron.

Two: Same car as above. I was running errands one evening in my college days when my battery died. I found a pay phone (yes, this was a long time ago) and called my roommate, who showed up with jumper cables. Neither of us really knew what we were doing, but we did manage to get my car started - immediately after which I turned it off because I "didn't want to waste the charge on the battery."

Had to call roadside assistance after that and replace the battery.

[parrot_girl]

Mine's from two months ago.
I went out the door
and pulled the door shut, making sure the latch was in and that the door was locked
and THEN checked that I had my house keys.

I didn't.

Sigh.
I went around the house to the laundry window, which I'd left open earlier when I'd been running the dryer, and clambered through. This required some amazing acrobatics on my part, as at the time I was 8 months pregnant.

Oh, and I did EXACTLY THE SAME THING two days ago! You'd think I'd learn. It was, however, far easier getting through the window; I left the baby parked in his pram at the door waiting for me.

[Redsoil]

I'm glad others have done evil things to printers and the like. 

I admit to being gleeful on the day I could finally lay my old computer to rest.  I'd had it up to HERE with the thing, and it had been driving me 'round the twist for months with glitches, sloooooooow loading, rude noises and general attitude.  So I got everything off it that was needed, took it out the back, and shot it.  Repeatedly. 

[Betelnut]

I got a shipment from Amazon the other day and realized that for the third time, I had ordered a DVD twice.  What I tend to do is put something on "pre-order" then, once the item comes out, order it again, forgetting that I've already got the dang thing ordered.  My local library loves me!

[Zenith]

Mine was last night and today.  I have a laptop, but no wi fi at home.  just never got around to switching.  I'm away, with my mom, and and the hotel has free wi fi.  which i cannot connect too, and the trouble shoot says "turn on the wi fi button"  Which I CANNOT find.  I'm really irritated, so last night i said the heck with it, and left it alone.  today, i tried again, and FINASLLY realized the button right. next. to. the power button is the wi fi button.  the same one i play with all the time and have no clue what it is.  needless to say, i am now connected via wifi

Whenever my computer/wifi stuff up happens I get Little Britain 'Computer says no'.

[amanda_tlg]

I'm glad others have done evil things to printers and the like. 

I admit to being gleeful on the day I could finally lay my old computer to rest.  I'd had it up to HERE with the thing, and it had been driving me 'round the twist for months with glitches, sloooooooow loading, rude noises and general attitude.  So I got everything off it that was needed, took it out the back, and shot it.  Repeatedly.

When our old printer finally died my husband took a video (unknown to me) of me re-enacting the scene from Office Space.

[kitty-cat]

Re.: forgetting things in the oven.

I was cured early of that. I think I was pre-teen at the time, when someone left one my mom's plastic bowls in the oven. (Why, I don't know.) Sure enough, the oven was turned on to preheat, and when I went to put dinner in I saw the bowl. It was white plastic, and the rim had turned translucent.

I grabbed a towel to get the bowl out. The rim ended up bumpy with the towel weave imprinted on it. Since it was just the rim that deformed, we kept using the bowl.

Now I check the oven every time before I turn it on.

Same here- only it was mom that did it. I wasn't allowed to come in the house for a while so the fumes could go away. We had to resort to using the self clean function to just burn it off. And I was out of the house for that too.