Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[Pippen]

This afternoon, I was playing hide and go seek with my dog and decided to hide in the coat closet. Except I tripped over something and fell hard, hitting the edge of the folded laundry rack with my ribs on the way down. Now I have a massive bruise, it hurts to lean back and breathe. Yay.

I hope you haven't cracked a rib. They hurt for about 6 weeks. No laughing for you.

Mine today. I have had to dig out my whole back garden along side the house so the plumber can redo my gully traps. I have unearthed some problems I really wish I hadn't. I will also have to completely resow the back lawn but at least I wasn't the idiot who decided to build a garden 3 feet deep over the drains and box the units with wood.

[mbbored]

This afternoon, I was playing hide and go seek with my dog and decided to hide in the coat closet. Except I tripped over something and fell hard, hitting the edge of the folded laundry rack with my ribs on the way down. Now I have a massive bruise, it hurts to lean back and breathe. Yay.

I hope you haven't cracked a rib. They hurt for about 6 weeks. No laughing for you.

Mine today. I have had to dig out my whole back garden along side the house so the plumber can redo my gully traps. I have unearthed some problems I really wish I hadn't. I will also have to completely resow the back lawn but at least I wasn't the idiot who decided to build a garden 3 feet deep over the drains and box the units with wood.

Fun times with the garden. Do you at least know the idiot so you can admonish them appropriately?

As for me, I really hope I didn't crack a rib, though I think it was shock/extreme muscle soreness, since breathing hurts less now. The bruise is currently the size of my spread hand, with burst blood vessels in the morning.

[twiggy]

I don't know what prompted this memory, but since it's in my brain, I'll put it in your brains as well.

Men, if you are observant, you will notice that after giving birth to a child who spends approximately 15 hours per day eating and another 5-7 hours shrieking, your wife may be extra stressed and exhausted. Surprising your stressed out, exhausted wife by mopping the floors and cleaning the bathroom (using a whole bunch of very effective, very chemically cleaners, including bleach) is a good and thoughtful idea. You might even succeed in you ulterior motive and your wife may reward your efforts by locking the kids downstairs with a movie so you and she can enjoy some special grown up time. Make sure that if this happens you wash your hands thoroughly!!!! Chemical burns in tender, intimate places are a good way to make sure that your stressed, exhausted wife will never let you touch her again.

Ok, I can't say never after all, said wife did give birth 17 months later.

[violinp]

Oh, owwwwww! 

[Amava]

Better, even: if you're going to use cleaning products that are /that/ aggressive, best to wear cleaning gloves.
Especially if it is your first day on a student's job as a cleaner, and your supervisor has explicitly and repeatedly warned you to wear these gloves.
Yes, really. Even if "you always clean without gloves at home" or "you feel less handy with gloves".

If you're going to be stubborn and use the products you have been warned against, by the professional, with your bare hands anyway, at first you'll go: "See! Everything ok! It's not burning!"
But an hour after your job is done, and throughout the rest of the evening, small pieces of upper skin will start coming loose from your hands. Seriously, it was like a sort of "peeling" or something. I had never seen that before. And surprised that I was!!

Since then, if a bottle or a pro warns me to be careful with a product, I believe them.

[CrochetFanatic]

I can't believe I'm about to tell these...    But!  I've got insomnia (again) and nothing better to do, so here goes!

This one didn't happen to me, but the poor girl turned beet red.  When I was in Health Class in 7th grade, we were learning about antigens and pathogens.  We were taking turns reading aloud from the textbook; working from one side of the room to the other, the first person in a row would read a paragraph, then the person behind would read the next one, until the row had all had a turn.  Then the next row would start.  Well, the girl sitting in front of me was reading, and the book said something about pathogens being "organisms".  Guess what she said instead of "organisms"?    The girl gasped and said, "I mean--", there was a split second of stunned silence, then everyone (even the teacher) was absolutely howling with laughter.  Even the girl had to laugh, but she was clearly embarrassed.

This one did happen to me, and it's not a big deal considering the room in which it happened.  It involves bodily functions, though.  One day in high school I was extremely gassy, but I was holding them in.  By the time 1:00 rolled around I was in a considerable amount of discomfort, and I asked for the hall pass.  I went into the bathroom, made sure the door was shut, and finally let myself pass gas.  It was loud, long, and quite a relief.  Next thing I know, I hear some girl smothering a laugh and golf-clapping in the furthest stall from the door.  I had forgotten to make sure I was alone in there...

[Gyburc]

I have a new one from DH. He was recently helping his brother out with some landscaping using a rotavator. They were clearing some pretty thick brambles, and the machine was over-heating.

Without thinking, DH put his hand straight down on the engine casing... right onto the safety notice.

No serious damage, but he had 'CAUTION - MAY BE HOT' in reverse visible on his palm for several hours.

 

[mbbored]

I have a new one from DH. He was recently helping his brother out with some landscaping using a rotavator. They were clearing some pretty thick brambles, and the machine was over-heating.

Without thinking, DH put his hand straight down on the engine casing... right onto the safety notice.

No serious damage, but he had 'CAUTION - MAY BE HOT' in reverse visible on his palm for several hours.

 

That is truly brilliant. A part of me is flinching for him and the other part is giggling imagining what if he had sat down on it.

[CrochetFanatic]

Last month we went to my dad's company picnic.  They have it every year, and you need tickets to get in.  The tickets must be bought in advance, and this was done without a hitch.  The car ride was about 15 to 20 minutes long (give or take), and when we got there my mom asked my dad, "Got the tickets?" 

His response?  "Oh, son of a..."

We had to go back and get them.  To make matters worse, even though I don't get carsick, the road had a lot of bends and twists.  We got home, and I wasn't feeling too extra.  By the time we got back to the park, I was pretty green.  My dad, however, was red.

[Adelaide]

Today we had an exercise due in class. I have yet to figure out where/when these other people got this piece of paper, but we were discussing it in terms of categories. So people would say "I think it's related to issue 1" and the teacher would say "good, why not issue 2?" In other words, zero context clues.

I sat there holding my breath for an hour and pretending to scratch down notes on the assignment, which was actually my copy of the syllabus. Every now and then I would nod sagely as if I had a clue what was going on.

[KenveeB]

Last month we went to my dad's company picnic.  They have it every year, and you need tickets to get in.  The tickets must be bought in advance, and this was done without a hitch.  The car ride was about 15 to 20 minutes long (give or take), and when we got there my mom asked my dad, "Got the tickets?" 

His response?  "Oh, son of a..."

We had to go back and get them.  To make matters worse, even though I don't get carsick, the road had a lot of bends and twists.  We got home, and I wasn't feeling too extra.  By the time we got back to the park, I was pretty green.  My dad, however, was red.

My dad and I were traveling in Europe, and he got annoyed with me when I asked him every time we left for somewhere "do you have your passport?" So as we got on the train from Munich to Salzburg, I didn't say anything. Halfway there, he suddenly realized that he had actually forgotten his passport. I got off at Salzburg as planned, and he rode all the way back to Munich and had to talk his way through to actually go get his passport from our hotel where he'd left it. (I didn't think they'd let him back!) I was in Salzburg for about 4 hours or so on my own waiting for him. 

He didn't get mad at me for asking if he had his passport the rest of the trip.

[jpcher]

Many years ago, before 9/11, LDH, the DDs and I were taking a trip via airplane.

During the rush of final packing and getting to the airport on time I kept asking LDH "You have the tickets, right?" To the point where it irritated him, so I finally kept my mouth shut.

One of the last things I did was switch out purses.

We get to the check-in point to check our luggage get seat assignments and boarding passes.

They asked for ID. I look in my purse, no drivers license. All I had was a marriage certificate (don't ask ) a couple of credit cards and a library card.

I'm not even going to try to describe the look on LDH's face as he quietly tapped on the tickets that I nagged him about.

Fortunately, like I said it was before 9/11 . . . the counter guy called over his manager who looked at the ID I had. Manager looked at the marriage certificate, then at my husband and asked him "Will you vouch for her as your wife?" LDH's response was a painful "Do I have to?"

They let me on the plane with a warning that I would need a photo ID for my return trip. They suggested that I go to a SAMs club at my destination, sign up for a membership in order to get a photo ID.


Yeah. I felt pretty stupid that day.



P.S. I was able to call the friend that was cat-sitting for us, told him where my drivers license was (with banking stuff I did the day before) and he fed-exed it to me for my return trip.

[Luci45]

Son was in the university marching band and we were taking him to catch the bus to perform in a Bowl game, about a 3 hour drive from home to the university. Son was driving, husband was riding shotgun and I was peacefully crocheting in the back seat, when about 30 minutes into the the trip I said jokingly, "Did you pack your uniform?"

I don't know how we made it home and back to the bus in time!

[squeakers]

We were headed to Des Moines to do Adventureland with my sister and her family.  2 vans full of kids and adults on a 3 hour trip.  An hour down the road we realized we had left the pre-paid gate tickets at home.  We pulled off the interstate, the menfolk jumped into one vehicle and went quickly home to get them. Adding 2 hours to our drive (sure, we women could have tried driving on and waiting for them.. but too many kids for 1 van and frankly we didn't even think about it until later that some of the older kids could have rode with the guys because the older kids were entertaining the younger kids.)

[greencat]

Trying to flip a 40 pound board over while I was holding it parallel to the ground at chest height.  I lost my grip because of the way I was holding it and the way I tried to flip it, and dropped it.  I moved fast enough to avoid having it land on my feet and break something, but it bounced off my thigh and left a fairly impressive bruise - raised about half an inch and bigger than an egg!