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Author Topic: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.  (Read 356971 times)

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CrochetFanatic

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #630 on: September 14, 2012, 03:39:24 AM »
I can't believe I'm about to tell these...  :-[  But!  I've got insomnia (again) and nothing better to do, so here goes!

This one didn't happen to me, but the poor girl turned beet red.  When I was in Health Class in 7th grade, we were learning about antigens and pathogens.  We were taking turns reading aloud from the textbook; working from one side of the room to the other, the first person in a row would read a paragraph, then the person behind would read the next one, until the row had all had a turn.  Then the next row would start.  Well, the girl sitting in front of me was reading, and the book said something about pathogens being "organisms".  Guess what she said instead of "organisms"?  ;D  The girl gasped and said, "I mean--", there was a split second of stunned silence, then everyone (even the teacher) was absolutely howling with laughter.  Even the girl had to laugh, but she was clearly embarrassed.

This one did happen to me, and it's not a big deal considering the room in which it happened.  It involves bodily functions, though.  One day in high school I was extremely gassy, but I was holding them in.  By the time 1:00 rolled around I was in a considerable amount of discomfort, and I asked for the hall pass.  I went into the bathroom, made sure the door was shut, and finally let myself pass gas.  It was loud, long, and quite a relief.  Next thing I know, I hear some girl smothering a laugh and golf-clapping in the furthest stall from the door.  I had forgotten to make sure I was alone in there...

Gyburc

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #631 on: September 14, 2012, 05:32:16 AM »
I have a new one from DH. He was recently helping his brother out with some landscaping using a rotavator. They were clearing some pretty thick brambles, and the machine was over-heating.

Without thinking, DH put his hand straight down on the engine casing... right onto the safety notice.

No serious damage, but he had 'CAUTION - MAY BE HOT' in reverse visible on his palm for several hours.

 ;D
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mbbored

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #632 on: September 14, 2012, 09:26:44 AM »
I have a new one from DH. He was recently helping his brother out with some landscaping using a rotavator. They were clearing some pretty thick brambles, and the machine was over-heating.

Without thinking, DH put his hand straight down on the engine casing... right onto the safety notice.

No serious damage, but he had 'CAUTION - MAY BE HOT' in reverse visible on his palm for several hours.

 ;D

That is truly brilliant. A part of me is flinching for him and the other part is giggling imagining what if he had sat down on it.

CrochetFanatic

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #633 on: September 14, 2012, 09:47:09 PM »
Last month we went to my dad's company picnic.  They have it every year, and you need tickets to get in.  The tickets must be bought in advance, and this was done without a hitch.  The car ride was about 15 to 20 minutes long (give or take), and when we got there my mom asked my dad, "Got the tickets?" 

His response?  "Oh, son of a..."

We had to go back and get them.  To make matters worse, even though I don't get carsick, the road had a lot of bends and twists.  We got home, and I wasn't feeling too extra.  By the time we got back to the park, I was pretty green.  My dad, however, was red.

Adelaide

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #634 on: September 14, 2012, 09:55:10 PM »
Today we had an exercise due in class. I have yet to figure out where/when these other people got this piece of paper, but we were discussing it in terms of categories. So people would say "I think it's related to issue 1" and the teacher would say "good, why not issue 2?" In other words, zero context clues.

I sat there holding my breath for an hour and pretending to scratch down notes on the assignment, which was actually my copy of the syllabus. Every now and then I would nod sagely as if I had a clue what was going on.

KenveeB

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #635 on: September 14, 2012, 09:59:47 PM »
Last month we went to my dad's company picnic.  They have it every year, and you need tickets to get in.  The tickets must be bought in advance, and this was done without a hitch.  The car ride was about 15 to 20 minutes long (give or take), and when we got there my mom asked my dad, "Got the tickets?" 

His response?  "Oh, son of a..."

We had to go back and get them.  To make matters worse, even though I don't get carsick, the road had a lot of bends and twists.  We got home, and I wasn't feeling too extra.  By the time we got back to the park, I was pretty green.  My dad, however, was red.

My dad and I were traveling in Europe, and he got annoyed with me when I asked him every time we left for somewhere "do you have your passport?" So as we got on the train from Munich to Salzburg, I didn't say anything. Halfway there, he suddenly realized that he had actually forgotten his passport. I got off at Salzburg as planned, and he rode all the way back to Munich and had to talk his way through to actually go get his passport from our hotel where he'd left it. (I didn't think they'd let him back!) I was in Salzburg for about 4 hours or so on my own waiting for him. 

He didn't get mad at me for asking if he had his passport the rest of the trip. :)

jpcher

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #636 on: September 15, 2012, 01:57:38 PM »
Many years ago, before 9/11, LDH, the DDs and I were taking a trip via airplane.

During the rush of final packing and getting to the airport on time I kept asking LDH "You have the tickets, right?" To the point where it irritated him, so I finally kept my mouth shut.

One of the last things I did was switch out purses.

We get to the check-in point to check our luggage get seat assignments and boarding passes.

They asked for ID. I look in my purse, no drivers license. All I had was a marriage certificate (don't ask ::)) a couple of credit cards and a library card.

I'm not even going to try to describe the look on LDH's face as he quietly tapped on the tickets that I nagged him about.

Fortunately, like I said it was before 9/11 . . . the counter guy called over his manager who looked at the ID I had. Manager looked at the marriage certificate, then at my husband and asked him "Will you vouch for her as your wife?" LDH's response was a painful "Do I have to?"

They let me on the plane with a warning that I would need a photo ID for my return trip. They suggested that I go to a SAMs club at my destination, sign up for a membership in order to get a photo ID.


Yeah. I felt pretty stupid that day.



P.S. I was able to call the friend that was cat-sitting for us, told him where my drivers license was (with banking stuff I did the day before) and he fed-exed it to me for my return trip.

Luci

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #637 on: September 15, 2012, 04:36:15 PM »
Son was in the university marching band and we were taking him to catch the bus to perform in a Bowl game, about a 3 hour drive from home to the university. Son was driving, husband was riding shotgun and I was peacefully crocheting in the back seat, when about 30 minutes into the the trip I said jokingly, "Did you pack your uniform?"

I don't know how we made it home and back to the bus in time!

squeakers

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #638 on: September 23, 2012, 01:48:48 PM »
We were headed to Des Moines to do Adventureland with my sister and her family.  2 vans full of kids and adults on a 3 hour trip.  An hour down the road we realized we had left the pre-paid gate tickets at home.  We pulled off the interstate, the menfolk jumped into one vehicle and went quickly home to get them. Adding 2 hours to our drive (sure, we women could have tried driving on and waiting for them.. but too many kids for 1 van and frankly we didn't even think about it until later that some of the older kids could have rode with the guys because the older kids were entertaining the younger kids.)
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greencat

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #639 on: September 23, 2012, 09:59:32 PM »
Trying to flip a 40 pound board over while I was holding it parallel to the ground at chest height.  I lost my grip because of the way I was holding it and the way I tried to flip it, and dropped it.  I moved fast enough to avoid having it land on my feet and break something, but it bounced off my thigh and left a fairly impressive bruise - raised about half an inch and bigger than an egg!

Pippen

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #640 on: September 23, 2012, 11:52:45 PM »
Trying to flip a 40 pound board over while I was holding it parallel to the ground at chest height.  I lost my grip because of the way I was holding it and the way I tried to flip it, and dropped it.  I moved fast enough to avoid having it land on my feet and break something, but it bounced off my thigh and left a fairly impressive bruise - raised about half an inch and bigger than an egg!

I was trying to take down some shelving in the attic and all the screws were different heads and so I had most of the out and couldn't be bothered faffing around so I thought 'Stuff it. I'll just kick it down' Cue the shelf coming flying back hitting me in the face and then taking off half my shin for good measure. I have no sympathy for myself. I am a horses rear end.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #641 on: September 25, 2012, 07:53:53 PM »
Trying to flip a 40 pound board over while I was holding it parallel to the ground at chest height.  I lost my grip because of the way I was holding it and the way I tried to flip it, and dropped it.  I moved fast enough to avoid having it land on my feet and break something, but it bounced off my thigh and left a fairly impressive bruise - raised about half an inch and bigger than an egg!

I was trying to take down some shelving in the attic and all the screws were different heads and so I had most of the out and couldn't be bothered faffing around so I thought 'Stuff it. I'll just kick it down' Cue the shelf coming flying back hitting me in the face and then taking off half my shin for good measure. I have no sympathy for myself. I am a horses rear end.

I once went to put my parents' dog out on his long tie-out (back yard not fully fenced) which hung on a small hook low to the ground.  When I straightened up, I whacked my head on the doorknob.  Angry at both myself and the door, I yelled a not-very-polite word and kicked the door as hard as I could, breaking two toes.  The door rebounded and the knob nailed me right on the hip, leaving a huge bruise besides.

I am also a horse's rear end.
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Pippen

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #642 on: September 25, 2012, 07:57:49 PM »
Trying to flip a 40 pound board over while I was holding it parallel to the ground at chest height.  I lost my grip because of the way I was holding it and the way I tried to flip it, and dropped it.  I moved fast enough to avoid having it land on my feet and break something, but it bounced off my thigh and left a fairly impressive bruise - raised about half an inch and bigger than an egg!

I was trying to take down some shelving in the attic and all the screws were different heads and so I had most of the out and couldn't be bothered faffing around so I thought 'Stuff it. I'll just kick it down' Cue the shelf coming flying back hitting me in the face and then taking off half my shin for good measure. I have no sympathy for myself. I am a horses rear end.

I once went to put my parents' dog out on his long tie-out (back yard not fully fenced) which hung on a small hook low to the ground.  When I straightened up, I whacked my head on the doorknob.  Angry at both myself and the door, I yelled a not-very-polite word and kicked the door as hard as I could, breaking two toes.  The door rebounded and the knob nailed me right on the hip, leaving a huge bruise besides.

I am also a horse's rear end.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #643 on: September 25, 2012, 08:00:23 PM »
Trying to flip a 40 pound board over while I was holding it parallel to the ground at chest height.  I lost my grip because of the way I was holding it and the way I tried to flip it, and dropped it.  I moved fast enough to avoid having it land on my feet and break something, but it bounced off my thigh and left a fairly impressive bruise - raised about half an inch and bigger than an egg!

I was trying to take down some shelving in the attic and all the screws were different heads and so I had most of the out and couldn't be bothered faffing around so I thought 'Stuff it. I'll just kick it down' Cue the shelf coming flying back hitting me in the face and then taking off half my shin for good measure. I have no sympathy for myself. I am a horses rear end.

I once went to put my parents' dog out on his long tie-out (back yard not fully fenced) which hung on a small hook low to the ground.  When I straightened up, I whacked my head on the doorknob.  Angry at both myself and the door, I yelled a not-very-polite word and kicked the door as hard as I could, breaking two toes.  The door rebounded and the knob nailed me right on the hip, leaving a huge bruise besides.

I am also a horse's rear end.

All of these have me laughing like a hyena, not because of what you did, but HOW you did it, as I am the queen of klutzeness.

this one though, is courtesy of my mom.  she is in a wheelchair, and also hard of hearing so she wears hearing aids.  She also has bad allergies and post nasal drip, which will sometimes give her coughing fits in the middle of hte night.  so she has one, and sits up and is fumbling on her nightstand for a tissue to blow her nose.

She feels something go "ping" and onto the floor, but doesn't know exactly what.  In the morning, she gets up, gets into her chair, and CRUNCH, runs over that something she knocked on the floor.  Which turned out to be her hearing aid!  it was beyond repair and I cracked up hysterically when she told me, again, not what she did, but how she did it. After having to spend a couple thousand on a new one, she is now VERY careful as to where she puts them at night!

katycoo

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #644 on: September 25, 2012, 10:51:15 PM »
My personal best effort - I had just purchased a new cigarette lighter, but it didn't seem to be working.  It was one of those ones without a wheel - the safety was that you had to push in the latch to depress the spark.
Someone suggested I hold it up to my ear to hear if the gas was flowing.  So I held it up to my ear, and sparked it, where it promptly set fire to my hair.  Not in a serious manner, but still...

Now, I don't know if I missed the "let it cool a while first" instruction, but boiling hot stock + very cold bowl = booom!

This is very similar to something stupid I did.  Mine was a collective of stupid.  Myself, DH and 2 friends (ALL SOBER) were making mulled wine on the stove top.  Its finished, and we're getting ready to serve, and I toguht "wouldn't this be prettier if it was in a jug, and not a saucepan?"  So I grabbed a glass jug (and wedding gift) and poured the boiling hot liquid into it.

THe very thick base of the base blew off.  Thank goodness it was in the sink so we didn't all getcovered with glass and hot liquid!

I still can't fathom how not one of us didn't twig that it was a bad idead.

I was trying to boil sugar once, but my candy thermometer said it wasn't getting hot and it wasn't boiling at that point so I brilliantly stuck my finger into the pot to see if it was hot.  It was.  I ended up sleeping with a piece of Aloe on my finger.

I think we've all done that "Is this thing hot?" *touch* YES!