Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[curly sue]

My most memorable one to date was the day I accidentally flushed some underpants down our toilet.

I AM SO GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON THAT'S DONE THIS!!!! 

I didn't flush the underpants down the toilet but I think mine is worse. I forgot to pull the underpants off before I used the potty. At least it was only pee! But, I have to be the only person on the whole earth to pee my  underpants while sitting on the toilet!!!!

I did have to take them off and throw them away. I had no way to clean them up because I was at work.

Raised hand  I did this - long drive home. I rushed into the house, pulled down my pants, and sat down with a long sigh of relief only to realize that I forgot the undies.  DH still cracks jokes about that.

Well, we can have some comfort in the fact that we are not alone in our moment of trouble. 

[siamesecat2965]

I almost did something dumb, but at the last moment, avoided danger.  I was at the laundromat, and i liked to start the machine, let some water go in, add my detergent, and then add the clothes.  So one day I start it up,and see wht I think is a leaf in the bottom.  I reached in and went to pick it up when it MOVED.  It was a bat.  I screamed and ran away.  The laundromat attendant got it out, and then went about my merry way, since I had already put $$ in, and I wasn't going to waste it!  I figured the water would kill any bat germs.

[Diane AKA Traska]

I almost did something dumb, but at the last moment, avoided danger.  I was at the laundromat, and i liked to start the machine, let some water go in, add my detergent, and then add the clothes.  So one day I start it up,and see wht I think is a leaf in the bottom.  I reached in and went to pick it up when it MOVED.  It was a bat.  I screamed and ran away.  The laundromat attendant got it out, and then went about my merry way, since I had already put $$ in, and I wasn't going to waste it!  I figured the water would kill any bat germs.

I am vengeance!
I am the night!
I AM BAT GERMS!

[tiff019]

My most memorable one to date was the day I accidentally flushed some underpants down our toilet.

I AM SO GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON THAT'S DONE THIS!!!! 

I didn't flush the underpants down the toilet but I think mine is worse. I forgot to pull the underpants off before I used the potty. At least it was only pee! But, I have to be the only person on the whole earth to pee my  underpants while sitting on the toilet!!!!

I did have to take them off and throw them away. I had no way to clean them up because I was at work.

You're not... but I did it at home, so I could rinse them out and throw them in the wash...

[Moonie]

I have mobility issues, so I use a cane to help me walk. I am also large, so the cane I have is a bariatric cane and is very heavy. One night I was in the recliner, and as I got up, the footrest wouldn't go back into position, so I got it down as far as I could, stood up, and went to use my cane to push the footrest the rest of the way in. I bent over, grabbed the cane, positioned it between my feet and whacked it. Only thing was, being bent over, I whacked myself in the side of the head....HARD. Hard enough to see stars!!! I had a knot on my right temple for a week. Now I know what to use as a weapon in case I get mugged. 

[Bijou]

I forgot to refrigerate a Finnish stew that had milk, onions, potatoes and salted salmon in it and I ate some the next day.  I think it was in my stomach for, oh, maybe 30 seconds.  I was young and inexperienced but I still cannot believe I was that foolish.  I think that is why I am so very careful about food preparation and storage. 

[Pippen]

does anyone else have the experience of knowing it is a very poor idea as soon as you start but for some reason being unable to stop yourself? Almost like the rational and evolved part of your brain gets overridden by your critter brain.

[violinp]

I have mobility issues, so I use a cane to help me walk. I am also large, so the cane I have is a bariatric cane and is very heavy. One night I was in the recliner, and as I got up, the footrest wouldn't go back into position, so I got it down as far as I could, stood up, and went to use my cane to push the footrest the rest of the way in. I bent over, grabbed the cane, positioned it between my feet and whacked it. Only thing was, being bent over, I whacked myself in the side of the head....HARD. Hard enough to see stars!!! I had a knot on my right temple for a week. Now I know what to use as a weapon in case I get mugged. 

OUCH!

[bansidhe]

My personal best effort - I had just purchased a new cigarette lighter, but it didn't seem to be working.  It was one of those ones without a wheel - the safety was that you had to push in the latch to depress the spark.
Someone suggested I hold it up to my ear to hear if the gas was flowing.  So I held it up to my ear, and sparked it, where it promptly set fire to my hair.  Not in a serious manner, but still...

That reminds me: A couple of years ago, I acquired a red-eared slider (aquatic turtle) who was a stray or had been dumped by her owners. She was a big girl - about a foot long. Her behavior made me suspect she might have an upper respiratory infection and when I picked her up to examine her, I thought I heard her wheezing a bit.

To verify that I'd heard wheezing, I held her head right up to my ear so I could hear better. She bit my ear, hard, and refused to let go for some time. There was blood involved. Good thing she was a slider and not a snapping turtle...

[Kimblee]

My personal best effort - I had just purchased a new cigarette lighter, but it didn't seem to be working.  It was one of those ones without a wheel - the safety was that you had to push in the latch to depress the spark.
Someone suggested I hold it up to my ear to hear if the gas was flowing.  So I held it up to my ear, and sparked it, where it promptly set fire to my hair.  Not in a serious manner, but still...

That reminds me: A couple of years ago, I acquired a red-eared slider (aquatic turtle) who was a stray or had been dumped by her owners. She was a big girl - about a foot long. Her behavior made me suspect she might have an upper respiratory infection and when I picked her up to examine her, I thought I heard her wheezing a bit.

To verify that I'd heard wheezing, I held her head right up to my ear so I could hear better. She bit my ear, hard, and refused to let go for some time. There was blood involved. Good thing she was a slider and not a snapping turtle...

BWAHAHAAAA!

Sorry. I just am so glad I'm not the only person to be biten by a pet turtle because of my own darn foolishness.

I have a box turtle who is VERY bitey. Nasty fellow, pretty but nasty. He was poked a lot with a stick before he became mine. One day I decided I needed to make friends with my Nasty Fellow. So I did what I do any time I need to make friend with a box turtle and I grabbed a strawberry. I sat on the floor with him (and bare, red toenailed feet, this is important) and offered him the berry. He took a bite and I felt good. Then he took a bite out of my big toe. Not so good. I grabbed at my foot and he bit my thumb. I picked him up and held him in a way that he couldn't reach me any more (he tried though, poor guy. Very determined.) and laughed at him. Then I put him down for a minute to open the tank he spends his winters in to put him back (it takes two hands) and he bit my foot again.

Mean, Mean little turtle. Astonishingly I still love him. Pretty sure he doesn't feel the same.

[Bluenomi]

Son was in the university marching band and we were taking him to catch the bus to perform in a Bowl game, about a 3 hour drive from home to the university. Son was driving, husband was riding shotgun and I was peacefully crocheting in the back seat, when about 30 minutes into the the trip I said jokingly, "Did you pack your uniform?"

I don't know how we made it home and back to the bus in time!

Many years ago, we were driving from our home to my parents' house to stay there overnight before dh had to go into large neighboring city the next morning for a job interview. The drive from our home to my parents' house was 4 hours. My dh is not the world's best packer, but had gotten frustrated with me asking him, "Do you have your belt/dress shoes/tie?" So when we were leaving the house that  morning and I asked, "Did you remember--" He interrupted me with a protest, "Stop asking me! I'm not a child." Okay, fine. So we get to my parents' house and are bringing our stuff in and my mother asks him, "So what suit are you wearing tomorrow?"

Dead silence.

He forgot the suit back home. It was now too late to go to a local store since it was past closing time. He had to get back into his car and drive four hours there and then four hours back.

I may have smirked a little.

The next time we're going somewhere, I again begin to ask him, "Did you remember--" And he -- foolish man -- cuts me off and insists he's got everything. About an hour into the drive, he lets out this deep sigh and pulls the car over to turn it around. I naturally ask what's wrong and he says, sheepishly, "I forgot my suit again."

I always ask DH if he was remembered his shorts after one trip to my parents where he forgot them and had to spend a few hot sweaty days in jeans. 

[White Dragon]

Last month my coworker went out of town for two weeks.

Then he came home and ate the leftover spaghetti in his fridge.

Coworker's return to work was delayed due to the resulting food poisoning.

[Starchasm]

I went to Vegas with my boyfriend.  It was supposed to be a great, romantic week.  We had a suite-ish type room that had a little wall that separated the sink area from the bedroom area.  The bathroom was in this little enclosure.  In the middle of the night, blind from being in the bathroom with the light on, I SMACKED into that little wall.  I broke my nose.  Dinner at Le Cirque with two black eyes?  Not so romantic.

At the beach I somehow managed to put sunscreen everywhere on my body except for my right shoulder.  By the time I figured this out I had a really impressive sunburn (I am SUPER pale).  You can even see my finger marks where I smudged around the other sunscreen.  NO IDEA how I didn't make it to that shoulder!

When I first got my second dog they used to fight a lot.  One morning they woke me up going at it really fiercely.  I (still wearing my sleep mask) misjudged the severity of the fight and tried to break them up.  With my hands.  There was a really weird sensation in my thumb where I thought, "Oh, THAT's not right," and the dogs stopped fighting immediately.

One of the dogs' canine teeth had gone straight through my thumbnail.  I managed to make it out of my bedroom before I got woozy.  I called my roommate from the living room floor so he could come take me to the ER.  The ER triage nurse acted like I was a wuss when I explained what happened until I took the towel off my hand.  His reaction?  "HOLY CRAP!"

It took a long time to heal but the dogs haven't fought since.

[katycoo]

Last night, I had the potential to have a very bad experience...luckily it turned out good.  My kids gave me a rotisserie for christmas, and we decided to try it out.  After cooking the pork tenderloin (which turned out fantastic!) I used the special tool to take it out of the rotisserie, but it still had the metal skewer running through it.  Without thinking, I grabbed the skewer with my bare hands. 

For some reason, the metal wasn't super hot.  I am happy to say I wasn't burnt!

My husband does that every. time. without fail with the meat thermometer.  Remove meat from cooking thing with appropriate protection, then while looking at it on the bench think "That's needs to come out" and promptly grabs it with his bare hand.  Every time.

[LadyJaneinMD]

I almost did something dumb, but at the last moment, avoided danger.  I was at the laundromat, and i liked to start the machine, let some water go in, add my detergent, and then add the clothes.  So one day I start it up,and see wht I think is a leaf in the bottom.  I reached in and went to pick it up when it MOVED.  It was a bat.  I screamed and ran away.  The laundromat attendant got it out, and then went about my merry way, since I had already put $$ in, and I wasn't going to waste it!  I figured the water would kill any bat germs.

That reminds me of a memorable evening from long, long ago, in one of my apartments.
I was sitting in the living room and saw a brownie crumb on the other chair, so I reached over to pick up up and throw it away.......and it wrapped it's little legs around my finger....

There was a lot of jumping and screaming, and I never knew where that little brown spider ended up, but I can't think about that moment without shuddering.