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Author Topic: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.  (Read 339512 times)

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alkira6

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #795 on: April 15, 2013, 07:53:06 PM »
The list of body parts not to touch after cutting up a jalapeno is rather extensive.

It's worth mentioning that this is definitely a situation in which one needs to wash their hands BEFORE going to the bathroom.

Been there, done that!  I prepared several dozen jalapenos to make poppers, THEN tried to take out my contacts.

Now I use disposable gloves, even if it's only one jalapeno.

I learned this lesson after going to the bathroom after chopping a couple of jalapenos for bean soup.  It made for a rather, um, interesting next few hours.

What's interesting is trying to explain why you are whimpering and rubbing buttermilk on your lady parts with some amount of desperation.  That my friends is interesting.

*buttermilk neutralizes the burning oil in peppers, for those who went  :o

I wish I would have known about the buttermilk trick before going to the bathroom after eating the extra hot wings at the local bar up home! (And of course I didn't wash my hands before, as I didn't think about it until it was too late and the burning had aready started!) Talk about hell down under. O.O

One of the very few times in m y life where it only took one time for me to learn my lesson.  I buy gloves by the box to keep in the kitchen for everything - handling meat, cutting peppers, everything.

Mediancat

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #796 on: April 16, 2013, 07:09:33 AM »
I didn't do that with jalapenos, but with jellyfish. When I was in college I worked a summer job for a guy doing some work on his property -- he lived off an inlet of the Chesapeake Bay -- and one day he came up to my coworker and me and asked us to stop what we were doing and get the jellyfish away from his dock.

When we were done, I instinctively reached my gloved hand up to wipe off my sweat, not realizing that a stray jellyfish tentacle remained on my glove.

Long red mark across my forehead for a few days. And it HURT.

Rob
"In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by someone who 'thought they were doing the right thing'." -- Lucy, Peanuts

Nikko-chan

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #797 on: April 16, 2013, 08:55:13 AM »
I um.... I did that with a jalepeno pepper yesterday... only it was near my eye and not my ladyparts... for those of you that don't know, buttermilk isn't the only thing that will work. Regular whole milk will work too.... yeah...

Calistoga

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #798 on: April 16, 2013, 09:17:18 AM »
Eyes. Lady parts. Mouth. Nose. I've done all of them. It got to the point where I told DH to just cut his own peppers, because I can not be trusted to remember.

EllenS

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #799 on: April 16, 2013, 11:56:11 AM »
When you're doing a formal event outdoors in the evening, take the time to aim the bug repellent at your legs - don't reach up under your skirt and spray willy-nilly.

There is no way to remain poised.

Shalamar

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #800 on: April 16, 2013, 12:45:00 PM »
If you're eating a steak on a paper plate at a work barbeque, eat it on a table.  Not on your lap.  I cut right through the plate and put yucky greasy meat juice all over my white shorts.

mmswm

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #801 on: April 16, 2013, 01:02:49 PM »
When eating hot ramen noodles, take care not to dump the contents of the bowl down your shirt.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #802 on: April 16, 2013, 03:08:34 PM »
If you're eating a steak on a paper plate at a work barbeque, eat it on a table.  Not on your lap.  I cut right through the plate and put yucky greasy meat juice all over my formerly white shorts.
There, fixed that for ya >:D

I may have mentioned it on another topic, but I once wore a pristine white skirt to work.  Unfortunately, my menstrual cycle started that morning.  I had some supplies at work (& in my purse, always be prepared!), so I took the normal precautions and a Midol and continued with my work day.  It must have been a Wednesday because a group of us always went to a sushi restaurant for lunch on Wednesdays.  On this particular day, the company president's wife joined us worker bees for sushi.  She sat next to me.  When I got up to leave at the end of lunch, it looked like I had sat in a red puddle.  The Midol worked and I had no idea the flow was that heavy.

The company president's wife was a classy lady.  She got an old blanket out of her car, wrapped it around me, took me to her home, and loaned me a black skirt to wear for the rest of the day while she treated the stains in my white skirt and washed it for me.  I was embarrassed when the company president returned my skirt to me.  He didn't know what my skirt was doing in his laundry and I didn't fill him in.  He was clearly curious as he handed me my skirt, but I just said, "Thank you" and went back to work. :-[
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Shalamar

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #803 on: April 16, 2013, 03:12:11 PM »
I think I read somewhere that the definition of class is the ability to make anyone feel at ease in any situation.  Your president's wife obviously qualifies.  What a nice thing to do! 

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #804 on: April 16, 2013, 03:24:14 PM »
I think I read somewhere that the definition of class is the ability to make anyone feel at ease in any situation.  Your president's wife obviously qualifies.  What a nice thing to do!

My definition applies too... acting around those of a "lower station" as if you were on equal footing.
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Philadelphia, PA

VorFemme

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #805 on: April 16, 2013, 09:07:03 PM »
He can't *see* the candle is burning? He has to be told?

If you're asking about VorGuy, at the time he was almost legally blind without his glasses.....so, yeah, he might not have been able to see it (the room was fairly well lit and it was daylight outside).  It is more likely that he just set the lid to one side without thinking about it (I've joked about him being an absent minded professor, if he ever gets a Ph.D. - in the meantime, he only has two bachelor's degrees and two masters' degrees - and was working as an instructor at a university at the time).

He had Lasik (laser surgery) for the near-sightedness a little over couple of years ago.  He is very happy NOT wearing prescription glasses!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

VorFemme

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #806 on: April 16, 2013, 09:19:34 PM »
Do not try to cut through pins with the sewing scissors.  It will not do the pins any good, and it will seriously nick the scissors.

Furthermore, don't iron fabric with pins still there. It'll melt the pinheads.

Make sure *every* pin is removed before you try on a freshly sewn-and-ironed top - use a magnet if you have to because you will have missed a pin, it will be HOT from the iron and it will STICK into the skin unde your arm when you try the top on, burning and piercing you at the same time!

I have a lovely scar and the bloodstain never fully came out of that top.

If "Grandma" sends a hand made outfit for the grandbaby - check it for sewn in pins.  She also thought that my washing red & green fabric before cutting & sewing it was a silly superstition......

Pin in the sewn shut elastic casing for a two year old.  Washed doll clothes with toddler clothes made from fabric she'd given me - left over from fabrics she'd just used to make a complete baby set (sheets, quilt, dust ruffle for under the crib, bumpers, etc. - back in the 1980s, so they still used bumpers in cribs).  The print was set off by a lovely bright crayon RED.....which bled everywhere on that load of clothes.

I warned MIL to rinse & keep rinsing the first time she washed the quilt, dust ruffle, and bumpers because if the fabric sat for any length of time or got stuck in the dryer....it would be permanent.

I don't remember if that dust ruffle, quilt, and crib bumpers ever got used again......it's been 25 years or so.....I suppose I could ask.  But I have a hunch that "no one would remember" or at least, no one would tell me......because she did start sharing that silly superstition about red and green quilt fabrics........

She really liked the feel of the crisp new fabric just off the bolt - washing it first made it feel "used" or something.  She quit using the bright reds and greens most likely to bleed dye.....or rinsed a small piece out by hand & put it on a white paper towel to "check" for bleeding before getting a lot of patches hand sewn together after that!
« Last Edit: April 17, 2013, 08:14:07 AM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

amandaelizabeth

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #807 on: April 17, 2013, 12:32:40 AM »
"When you're doing a formal event outdoors in the evening, take the time to aim the bug repellent at your legs - don't reach up under your skirt and spray willy-nilly."

What was Willynilly doing under your skirt?

Sorry could not resist

Luci

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #808 on: April 17, 2013, 12:39:14 AM »
"When you're doing a formal event outdoors in the evening, take the time to aim the bug repellent at your legs - don't reach up under your skirt and spray willy-nilly."

What was Willynilly doing under your skirt?

Sorry could not resist

Well, on the other leg, I have never had the spray get through my undies. So.............nevermind. Rude question which may get banned.

greencat

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Re: Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.
« Reply #809 on: April 21, 2013, 11:34:45 PM »
I forgot once to take my contacts out before putting icy hot* on my back before bed.  That was an excruciatingly painful lesson.  Menthol creams do not play nicely with eyes.

A friend of mine in high school once spent about half an hour alternating between shrieking like a little girl and, uh, making happy noises, because he put a lot of icy hot on his thighs, and the vapors from the cream rose up to affect some rather more delicate areas of skin.

*I am aware that this is technically a brand name, but I'm using it here to generically mean any of the menthol sore muscle creams, thus the lack of capital letters.