Don't eat the meatballs! AKA: Stupid stuff you've done.

[mmswm]

When eating hot ramen noodles, take care not to dump the contents of the bowl down your shirt.

[Midnight Kitty]

If you're eating a steak on a paper plate at a work barbeque, eat it on a table.  Not on your lap.  I cut right through the plate and put yucky greasy meat juice all over my formerly white shorts.

There, fixed that for ya

I may have mentioned it on another topic, but I once wore a pristine white skirt to work.  Unfortunately, my menstrual cycle started that morning.  I had some supplies at work (& in my purse, always be prepared!), so I took the normal precautions and a Midol and continued with my work day.  It must have been a Wednesday because a group of us always went to a sushi restaurant for lunch on Wednesdays.  On this particular day, the company president's wife joined us worker bees for sushi.  She sat next to me.  When I got up to leave at the end of lunch, it looked like I had sat in a red puddle.  The Midol worked and I had no idea the flow was that heavy.

The company president's wife was a classy lady.  She got an old blanket out of her car, wrapped it around me, took me to her home, and loaned me a black skirt to wear for the rest of the day while she treated the stains in my white skirt and washed it for me.  I was embarrassed when the company president returned my skirt to me.  He didn't know what my skirt was doing in his laundry and I didn't fill him in.  He was clearly curious as he handed me my skirt, but I just said, "Thank you" and went back to work.

[Shalamar]

I think I read somewhere that the definition of class is the ability to make anyone feel at ease in any situation.  Your president's wife obviously qualifies.  What a nice thing to do! 

[Diane AKA Traska]

I think I read somewhere that the definition of class is the ability to make anyone feel at ease in any situation.  Your president's wife obviously qualifies.  What a nice thing to do!

My definition applies too... acting around those of a "lower station" as if you were on equal footing.

[VorFemme]

He can't *see* the candle is burning? He has to be told?

If you're asking about VorGuy, at the time he was almost legally blind without his glasses.....so, yeah, he might not have been able to see it (the room was fairly well lit and it was daylight outside).  It is more likely that he just set the lid to one side without thinking about it (I've joked about him being an absent minded professor, if he ever gets a Ph.D. - in the meantime, he only has two bachelor's degrees and two masters' degrees - and was working as an instructor at a university at the time).

He had Lasik (laser surgery) for the near-sightedness a little over couple of years ago.  He is very happy NOT wearing prescription glasses!

[VorFemme]

Do not try to cut through pins with the sewing scissors.  It will not do the pins any good, and it will seriously nick the scissors.

Furthermore, don't iron fabric with pins still there. It'll melt the pinheads.

Make sure *every* pin is removed before you try on a freshly sewn-and-ironed top - use a magnet if you have to because you will have missed a pin, it will be HOT from the iron and it will STICK into the skin unde your arm when you try the top on, burning and piercing you at the same time!

I have a lovely scar and the bloodstain never fully came out of that top.

If "Grandma" sends a hand made outfit for the grandbaby - check it for sewn in pins.  She also thought that my washing red & green fabric before cutting & sewing it was a silly superstition......

Pin in the sewn shut elastic casing for a two year old.  Washed doll clothes with toddler clothes made from fabric she'd given me - left over from fabrics she'd just used to make a complete baby set (sheets, quilt, dust ruffle for under the crib, bumpers, etc. - back in the 1980s, so they still used bumpers in cribs).  The print was set off by a lovely bright crayon RED.....which bled everywhere on that load of clothes.

I warned MIL to rinse & keep rinsing the first time she washed the quilt, dust ruffle, and bumpers because if the fabric sat for any length of time or got stuck in the dryer....it would be permanent.

I don't remember if that dust ruffle, quilt, and crib bumpers ever got used again......it's been 25 years or so.....I suppose I could ask.  But I have a hunch that "no one would remember" or at least, no one would tell me......because she did start sharing that silly superstition about red and green quilt fabrics........

She really liked the feel of the crisp new fabric just off the bolt - washing it first made it feel "used" or something.  She quit using the bright reds and greens most likely to bleed dye.....or rinsed a small piece out by hand & put it on a white paper towel to "check" for bleeding before getting a lot of patches hand sewn together after that!

[amandaelizabeth]

"When you're doing a formal event outdoors in the evening, take the time to aim the bug repellent at your legs - don't reach up under your skirt and spray willy-nilly."

What was Willynilly doing under your skirt?

Sorry could not resist

[Luci]

"When you're doing a formal event outdoors in the evening, take the time to aim the bug repellent at your legs - don't reach up under your skirt and spray willy-nilly."

What was Willynilly doing under your skirt?

Sorry could not resist

Well, on the other leg, I have never had the spray get through my undies. So.............nevermind. Rude question which may get banned.

[greencat]

I forgot once to take my contacts out before putting icy hot* on my back before bed.  That was an excruciatingly painful lesson.  Menthol creams do not play nicely with eyes.

A friend of mine in high school once spent about half an hour alternating between shrieking like a little girl and, uh, making happy noises, because he put a lot of icy hot on his thighs, and the vapors from the cream rose up to affect some rather more delicate areas of skin.

*I am aware that this is technically a brand name, but I'm using it here to generically mean any of the menthol sore muscle creams, thus the lack of capital letters.

[EllenS]

"When you're doing a formal event outdoors in the evening, take the time to aim the bug repellent at your legs - don't reach up under your skirt and spray willy-nilly."

What was Willynilly doing under your skirt?

Sorry could not resist

Well, on the other leg, I have never had the spray get through my undies. So.............nevermind. Rude question which may get banned.

LOL!

[AuntieA]

My BF once accidentally pepper-sprayed his boy parts. I never knew he could hit that high a scream note.

[Snooks]

Managed to slice my finger open on one of the food processor blades, that'll teach me to store them at the back of the cupboard and being too lazy to take the storage box out rather than just sticking my hand in.  It bled a lot.

[blueyzca01]

Along the same note:  I was using a brand-new mandolin to slice potatoes, and didn't like the way the guard held onto the piece of potato.  So, put the guard aside and kept slicing.

You know that jolt you feel when you slice your finger with a knife, it's almost like biting into a piece of foil, you feel a charge??  Multiply that by 10. 

I COULD.NOT.STOP the bleeding.  But the pain...oh the pain.  As soon as DH asked why the bandaids were out, I broke down into a torrent of tears. 

I got lucky, since it was a brand-new one, the slice was clean and while it covered quite of bit of surface area of the side of my thumb, it wasn't very deep.  No scar.

[LadyClaire]

I forgot once to take my contacts out before putting icy hot* on my back before bed.  That was an excruciatingly painful lesson.  Menthol creams do not play nicely with eyes.

A friend of mine in high school once spent about half an hour alternating between shrieking like a little girl and, uh, making happy noises, because he put a lot of icy hot on his thighs, and the vapors from the cream rose up to affect some rather more delicate areas of skin.

*I am aware that this is technically a brand name, but I'm using it here to generically mean any of the menthol sore muscle creams, thus the lack of capital letters.

I frequently have hip pain that I sometimes use icy hot on. One day, years ago, I had just applied some Icy Hot to my hip and hadn't put my pajama pants on yet. My boyfriend at the time had just emerged from the shower and decided to lay down on bed next to me, where his bare bits came into contact with my hip. Needless to say, he took off for the bathroom like..well...his parts were on fire. Which they were, in a way...

[Bottlecaps]

I may have mentioned it on another topic, but I once wore a pristine white skirt to work.  Unfortunately, my menstrual cycle started that morning.  I had some supplies at work (& in my purse, always be prepared!), so I took the normal precautions and a Midol and continued with my work day.  It must have been a Wednesday because a group of us always went to a sushi restaurant for lunch on Wednesdays.  On this particular day, the company president's wife joined us worker bees for sushi.  She sat next to me.  When I got up to leave at the end of lunch, it looked like I had sat in a red puddle.  The Midol worked and I had no idea the flow was that heavy.

The company president's wife was a classy lady.  She got an old blanket out of her car, wrapped it around me, took me to her home, and loaned me a black skirt to wear for the rest of the day while she treated the stains in my white skirt and washed it for me.  I was embarrassed when the company president returned my skirt to me.  He didn't know what my skirt was doing in his laundry and I didn't fill him in.  He was clearly curious as he handed me my skirt, but I just said, "Thank you" and went back to work.

I think I read somewhere that the definition of class is the ability to make anyone feel at ease in any situation.  Your president's wife obviously qualifies.  What a nice thing to do!

My definition applies too... acting around those of a "lower station" as if you were on equal footing.

POD! How sweet of her to help you out, and with such tact at that.