In situations like this, the first thing I tend to do is think about the people making the comments, and ask myself whether I value their opinion.
If the answer is no, or I don't know, then they get a polite, non-committal response and I go on with things. But if the answer is yes, that I do value their opinions, then I will try to step back and consider whether they are right, particularly if I'm getting the same response from multiple people whose opinion I value.
From a friend's perspective, it can be tricky. A person who is totally over the relationship, emotionally stable and ready to date will say "I'm totally over the relationship, emotionally stable and ready to date." The problem is, the person who is not over the relationship and isn't ready to date will say the exact same thing.
I think these are very wise words. I don't think it's fair to tell people who love and care about you that their concerns are "silly." I also think you have to ask yourself what kind of support and help did you ask of your friends during the breakup? I find it a bit unfair to lean on them during a difficult time, but then when they express concern that perhaps you aren't emotionally ready yet, to dismiss them and tell them it's not of their business.
I've been in both situations, and I know that I wanted it both ways. I wanted my friends to be there for me during the breakup, be people I could count on to support me, and then when I made some poor decisions, got upset when they still continued to offer their love and support, just in a different way.
TBH, Turtledove, in your particular situation, I can understand why people would be concerned. I don't think it's that they don't want you to be happy. Your relationship
ended in a very tragic way. It wasn't just that you agreed you shouldn't be together anymore. And even based upon what you wrote here on the board about your emotional state, and what you were going though, if you were my friend, I would be very concerned. I wouldn't tell you that you were clearly making a mistake or it was going to fall apart, but I don't think it's unreasonable for people in your life to be worried about you, moving into a new relationship
, a month after your husband committed suicide.