TBH, Turtledove, in your particular situation, I can understand why people would be concerned. I don't think it's that they don't want you to be happy. Your relationship ended in a very tragic way. It wasn't just that you agreed you shouldn't be together anymore. And even based upon what you wrote here on the board about your emotional state, and what you were going though, if you were my friend, I would be very concerned. I wouldn't tell you that you were clearly making a mistake or it was going to fall apart, but I don't think it's unreasonable for people in your life to be worried about you, moving into a new relationship, a month after your husband committed suicide.
I can see this. I really can. I do think that unless a person has experienced the trauma I did, it is difficult to grasp how over that relationship I am. I can tell you that I was in shock for a few weeks and then decided to embrace life again, and I am so glad I did. I am not going to end my life because he chose to end his. And the new guy I am seeing is a particularly stellar person, and without getting into details our families have known each other forever and he is a pastor - he will not hurt me and I will not hurt him. Of course I am not clairvoyant, but I did not just start dating an unknown. But yes, I can see the questions people might have....I just know that I have made a decision to not waste my life and to enjoy every minute.
I'm going to just assume that you know what is best for you, Turtledove. However, I want to point out that you have a child involved, and your child may mourn your late husband in a different way. Be very tender with her.
A lot of people who date after a spouse/partner dies/breaks up/divorces take pains to keep their children separated from their dates until they are absolutely positive that the new person is going to be a fixture in their lives.
My stepfather, who was sick for at least six months, died in August of 2010. My mother is dating
again. She's happy. (She really can't handle being alone.) I'm happy, especially as I was her social support for 14 months. My sister is concerned. My stepbrother and stepsister are ticked at how quickly her relationship
has taken off, and how she is willing to blow off their kids, her step-grandkids. They probably would have preferred she wait another year or two. Everyone mourns differently.
Back to the OP's issue, I have heard from very reputable, conservative therapists that you should give yourself X number of months to mourn a relationship
, where X is the number of years you were in the relationship
. So if you were involved for 1.5 years, you should have 1.5 months to mourn. Well, that's six weeks. So you have done the sensible, conservative thing.