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Author Topic: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"  (Read 10763 times)

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anechka

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #15 on: October 09, 2011, 04:19:53 PM »
I wouldn't bring up suing, accidents, insurances and the like.  If she asked why she wasn't invited, I would give her a long blank stare and say "excuse me?" - sorry, that's a very impertinent question except maybe from the closest of friends and it does not merit a response.  If she is rude enough to ask the question again I think I'd say something like "Beg your pardon, but I do not discuss my guest lists".  Then walk away or bean dip.



catrunning

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #16 on: October 09, 2011, 05:40:55 PM »
My husband's youngest brother and his wife literally make a living off filing lawsuits - workers' compensation for "injuries" that they supposedly "suffered" on the job, slip & falls against merchants and homeowners, suits against landlords in an effort to avoid paying rent, wherever they think they can scrounge a buck.    Please understand that none of their "injuries" ever kept them from doing any of the recreational activities they liked.    Unfortunately, there is a subculture in my country (United States) that literally makes a living off filing fake claims/lawsuits, which is actually feasible as long as you are satisfied with a relatively modest "income" and lifestyle in return.

This is encouraged by all those attorneys who advertise for that business.  Having a glut of attorneys - more attorneys than the population's actual legal needs can reasonably support - doesn't help matters.    But despite the riches their daytime television commercials appear to promise, you only get the really big judgements if you are seriously injured - paralyzed, lost a limb, etc.   Otherwise, what you get are really just "nuisance settlements" - enough to make you "go away"- because those are less than the legal costs that would be incurred to successfully fight the claim.      Even so, you wouldn't believe how many people in my country prefer that to working for an honest living. 

And so we never, ever invite this brother and his family to our house for family functions.   Everyone else in the family who does either (1) gets sued for something really stupid or (2) finds that mysteriously their jewelry, cash, cell, sunglasses, etc. "disappeared" during the visit.    Despite this, they get repeat invitations because they are FAMILY and everyone is supposed to accept their "idiosyncrasies".   

So, yes - I concur that the OP need not invite this woman.   And if she persists in questioning why, OP should just say she doesn't  feel comfortable having someone that litigious as a guest.   

magician5

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #17 on: October 09, 2011, 05:45:53 PM »
Ms. Slipnfall sees the cars in Myrna's driveway and then corners Myrna later asking why she wasn't invited.

I'm tempted to say "because you're impolite enough to ask why you weren't invited."

After some thought, I'd abandon any attempt for the truth and try to get away with "I'm not sure that sort of event is something you'd feel comfortable at." I don't have very high hopes of that working, though.

AAAARGH! I should have read the first replies more carefully - ""I'm sorry, but it isn't possible for me to invite you because I can't provide accident-free accommodations.  I can't take a chance that you could get hurt in my house." is ideal!
« Last Edit: October 09, 2011, 05:47:32 PM by magician5 »
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TinyVulgarUnicorn

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2011, 07:08:44 PM »
I would suggest that Myrna post a "no trespassing and no soliciting" sign in her yard. Because you know Mrs Slipnfall is going to escalate from "Hey, nice seeing you here in grocery store, why didn't you invite me to the party" to "Gosh, I think I'll skip up the path uninvited and knock on the door during the party. Maybe I'll follow those party guests that are going into the back yard, too. Oh darn, I've fallen and I can't get up..."

That is not legal advice, just common sense CYA

Telling Mrs Slipnfall "You're not invited because you keep having accidents / making lawsuits" will only increase her desire to pull a fast one on Myrna.

POD.  Unfortunately, people like this usually up the ante and show up uninvited at the door to things like this.  OP, please tell Myrna to be prepared to say, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave."



wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #19 on: October 09, 2011, 09:35:34 PM »
Would it be wrong to say,

I have sharp objects, standing water, hard surfaces and stairs. Since I am unable to make my dwelling 100% safe for you you are not welcome at my home or on my property.

Lisbeth

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2011, 10:19:17 PM »
Would it be wrong to say,

I have sharp objects, standing water, hard surfaces and stairs. Since I am unable to make my dwelling 100% safe for you you are not welcome at my home or on my property.

I think it would.  The second sentence does sound kind of nasty, even if we all agree with the sentiment-and it will be perceived that way.
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Erich L-ster

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2011, 10:56:03 PM »
There should be some limitations on lawsuits for problems like slip&falls. Twice would be generous enough for me. Once-allright I'll believe that, twice-okay it's getting fishy, three times-no way you should have learned the lesson to look out for your own *rear by now. You're either careless or a liar.

Bijou

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2011, 11:51:56 PM »
No way would I mention lawsuits or injuries. 
I might go with the idea of posting no trespassing/soliciting signs if it is possible she would try to show up uninvited.
If she asks why she was not invited, I like the close friend response and if pushed, the I don't discuss my guest list one.
It's pretty pathetic when we can't just go about our business of living our lives without having to anticipate and plan responses to nosy-people inquiries.
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sammycat

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2011, 12:00:55 AM »
I wouldn't bring up suing, accidents, insurances and the like.  If she asked why she wasn't invited, I would give her a long blank stare and say "excuse me?" - sorry, that's a very impertinent question except maybe from the closest of friends and it does not merit a response.  If she is rude enough to ask the question again I think I'd say something like "Beg your pardon, but I do not discuss my guest lists".  Then walk away or bean dip.

This, totally.

HonorH

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2011, 12:21:12 AM »
I wouldn't bring up suing, accidents, insurances and the like.  If she asked why she wasn't invited, I would give her a long blank stare and say "excuse me?" - sorry, that's a very impertinent question except maybe from the closest of friends and it does not merit a response.  If she is rude enough to ask the question again I think I'd say something like "Beg your pardon, but I do not discuss my guest lists".  Then walk away or bean dip.

This, totally.

In a pod with these two. Telling her you think she'll take a dive and then sue you is a pretty good way to make a firm enemy of her, even if she totally would. In fact, especially if she totally would. Myrna needs to have a stock response about it being a gathering of friends, and then disengage.
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shhh its me

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #25 on: October 10, 2011, 12:25:33 AM »
I wouldn't bring up suing, accidents, insurances and the like.  If she asked why she wasn't invited, I would give her a long blank stare and say "excuse me?" - sorry, that's a very impertinent question except maybe from the closest of friends and it does not merit a response.  If she is rude enough to ask the question again I think I'd say something like "Beg your pardon, but I do not discuss my guest lists".  Then walk away or bean dip.

This, totally.

I'm going to second this.

What is the benefit of telling her "why", to you or her?  It might be mildly satisfying but it wont be effective it will either start a debate or angry her . IMHO I don't want a person who already abuses the legal system really angry at me and living next door.

Just tone down speaking to her in general so she has less reason to think she should be invited. I've had dozens of neighbors and know dozens people  each with dozens of neighbors who don't invite those neighbors to parties I can't think of any time there were questions. BTW some of these parties have included only some neighbor's , the only issue would be a block party when ever other neighbor is.

TychaBrahe

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #26 on: October 10, 2011, 12:41:13 AM »
My father had a patient who said the same thing.  During his initial patient visit, he provided information from four GPs that he'd seen within the past five years, and when my father asked why there were so many, the guy said that when something went wrong, he'd sued the doctors.  Now I have no problem with clear incompetence resulting in a malpractice suit, but that's ridiculous, and my father refused to have him as a patient.

I would have no problem saying, "You've said you'd sue someone if you were injured at their house.  In fact, you have done so.  I don't maintain a construction site, but I'm not willing to risk you slipping on a spilled drink and injuring yourself."  I have no problem pointing out that consequences are the results of people's actions.
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Iris

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2011, 02:15:42 AM »
And he can't have your kidney!
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cicero

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #28 on: October 10, 2011, 02:21:20 AM »
Ms. Slipnfall sees the cars in Myrna's driveway and then corners Myrna later asking why she wasn't invited.

That is the kind of question that doesn't deserve an answer. Ms. Slipnfall is a bully and Myrna doesn't have to take it. If she tried to corner me and demand to know why she wasn't invited, I would first of all give her a blank stare, and then follow up with "Are you really trying to tell me who I have to invite into my home? I know you are new to the neighborhood, but that's not how we do things here." Then I would turn and walk away. That would be the end of the discussion for me. If she ever brought it up again, I would just say, "We've already talked about that and nothing has changed."
I would go with this.

regardless of her suing career, in what universe is it ok to ask your neighbor why you weren't invited to a shindig? it's rude and tacky.

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iridaceae

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #29 on: October 10, 2011, 06:19:51 AM »
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