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Author Topic: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"  (Read 10789 times)

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boxy

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #30 on: October 10, 2011, 07:06:25 AM »
If this person cornered me then Evil boxy most likely would ignore anything she says and instead say, "hey, I heard someone took a tumble on your sidewalk the other day.  What happened?"  Or, "We were called together by some investigators who are looking into various weird things going on in our area."

Etiquette boxy might say with a giggle and a flip, "Oh, I'm having a religious (political, whatever) group that I know you're uncomfortable with over so I can learn more about them."

Or, Etiquette boxy might say, "Oh, this is my study group" (implying a group she wouldn't be interested in joining) with no further explanation.  The less she knows the better.

I agree with the others that you don't owe her any information let alone an invitation.  She is dangerous and the less you have to do with her the better.

VorFemme

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #31 on: October 10, 2011, 08:01:01 AM »
It was some people from school (and she didn't go to school with the neighbor).
It was relatives (and she isn't related to the neighbor).

The study group comment might work - or a hobby group, reading club, or poetry club - or possibly something like a bridge group where there is already a person "on call" if someone doesn't show up and you HAVE to have enough space to set up the number of card tables for everyone............so having one more person show up means that all they get to do is watch because there is a "no talking to the players" rule.

Granted, I don't LIKE playing bridge.............the neighbor might............which is when you mention that there is a waiting list for new members and enough "extras" to fill in when someone can't make it.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

weeblewobble

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #32 on: October 10, 2011, 08:03:03 AM »
Ha! Thanks, Iris.

LadyClaire

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #33 on: October 10, 2011, 08:11:35 AM »
Your neighbor sounds like a real piece of work. I can't see how you could tell her the reason for her lack of invitation without making her MORE likely to slip on your property out of spite.

I also find this thread paired with your screen name to be funny..y'know, weebles wobble but they don't fall down..

tinkytinky

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #34 on: October 10, 2011, 08:36:10 AM »
"Oh, I'm sorry, did someone park in your driveway/walk across your lawn. I'll make sure that doesn't happen again. We try to be a little more low-visibility."

"It was a get together of a neighborhood crime stopping and safety committee. We are trying to inform people of household hazards and ways to prevent injuries and lawsuits. Oh, do you have a few pointers?" (ok maybe not that last part.) That might make her uncomfortable enough to not ask again.....

DaDancingPsych

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #35 on: October 10, 2011, 08:57:30 AM »
I think creating lies is rude, so I wouldn't make up a story.

I have learned here (and life experience) that individuals rude enough to ask rude questions, will continue to argue with their logic. It's best to just keep the reply short and simple with little information. Explaining the truth will only make a deeper enemy and won't necessarily solve her questioning. I would stick to one of the suggestions of "I don't discuss my guest list" or "this is a private affair."

And I agree that you Myrna will need to learn to turn away if she should decide to press forward. "I'm sorry, but I am going to have to ask you leave" is good. "I am not able to host you at this time" (although there never will be a good time in this case.) She may try to argue that she's only one person, but the phrase should simply be repeated. If she bullies her way in, then the OP may need to escalate to the cops.

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2011, 09:46:24 AM »
"What party ?"

Looks blankly

No matter what she says, don't give her an answer.

There was NO party.

Keeps looking blankly
« Last Edit: October 10, 2011, 09:48:12 AM by Dragons 8 Cactus »

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high dudgeon

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2011, 10:04:51 AM »
And he can't have your kidney!

LOL!  ;D

I think I'd go with a blank look while saying: "Oh, it wasn't an open house or anything. It was a private event." And if she presses the issue, "A private event. For our friends."

That would be rude to say if she hadn't asked. But if she goes out of her way to bring it up and ask you, you can tell her without being rude.

Lisbeth

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #38 on: October 10, 2011, 10:09:21 AM »
"What party ?"

Looks blankly

No matter what she says, don't give her an answer.

There was NO party.

Keeps looking blankly

I like this!  Although, I'm sure she'll have a self-promoting comeback for this too.
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Amara

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2011, 11:03:55 AM »
I'd put a blank look on my face and say, "Party? There is/was a party at my house? I have/had no idea." Then I'd resume my blank look and scoop up a big handful of bean dip. Repeatedly, as needed.

Petticoats

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #40 on: October 10, 2011, 11:23:20 AM »
I'm among the posters who are concerned that being direct with this woman may make an enemy of her--a potentially vengeful enemy. Can you be just sweetly vague and a little puzzled, and yet resolutely uninformative?

Ms. Slipnfall: Why didn't you invite me to your party?
OP: Why?
Ms S: What?
OP: Why do you ask?
Ms S: Because I want to know why you didn't invite me.
OP: Oh. Well, it hardly seems important now that it's over.
Ms S: But I still want to know.
OP: I guess it just didn't work out that way.
Ms S: What about the next time you have a party? Will I be invited?
OP: Oh, I never plan that far ahead.

TeamBhakta

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #41 on: October 10, 2011, 12:17:02 PM »
Would it be wrong to say,

I have sharp objects, standing water, hard surfaces and stairs. Since I am unable to make my dwelling 100% safe for you you are not welcome at my home or on my property.

Not a good idea for 2 reasons (1) it isn't even polite to say "you weren't invited because I find you annoying / cheap / too chatty", let alone "...because you've got a laywer on speed dial" and (2) pointing out hazards in the home to Mrs Slipnfall just challenges here to look harder, even when it's meant tongue in cheek or those hazards don't exist there in the first place. 
« Last Edit: October 10, 2011, 12:22:30 PM by TeamBhakta »

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #42 on: October 10, 2011, 12:36:05 PM »
I think "It was a private party" is about all the answer she should get.  Don't waste your time on someone rude enough to even ask that question in the first place.
"After all this time?"
"Always."

Sirius

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #43 on: October 10, 2011, 12:50:07 PM »
"Do you discuss your guest lists with other people when you have a function?"

                                                                 or

"In this neighborhood we aren't obligated to invite neighbors just because they happen to be neighbors."

Put the onus for the situation back on her.

I can never think on my feet fast enough in these situations. 

Eeep!

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Re: IS there a polite way to say, "You're not invited because you'll sue me"
« Reply #44 on: October 10, 2011, 01:14:38 PM »
I wouldn't bring up suing, accidents, insurances and the like.  If she asked why she wasn't invited, I would give her a long blank stare and say "excuse me?" - sorry, that's a very impertinent question except maybe from the closest of friends and it does not merit a response.  If she is rude enough to ask the question again I think I'd say something like "Beg your pardon, but I do not discuss my guest lists".  Then walk away or bean dip.

This, totally.

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