General Etiquette > Family and Children

Relative diagnosed with inoperable brain tumour

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veryfluffy:
This weekend we learned that DH's aunt has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour, with about 6 months to live. We have no idea what is appropriate to do in this situation. She is in her 60s, and DH is fond of her although he hasn't actually seen her in about 20 years. Contact is limited to a Christmas card and news through his mother. He also speaks to his cousin, her daughter that he grew up with, about once a year.

They live about 10 hours' drive away, so going to visit isn't feasible. It doesn't seem right to send a card that says, "Sorry to hear you are terminally ill." I don't even know if it would be okay to phone his cousin and ask if there was anything we could do -- it just seems so awkward to dwell on someone being told they are going to die.

Lisbeth:
I'd send a nice note from both of you saying that you were sorry to hear about her condition, and how much his aunt meant to your DH (even if that isn't very much).

blue2000:
I'd go ahead and phone. She may appreciate the offer, even if there isn't much that can be done. A card that says something like "thinking of you" would be nice, too.

ehellion:
Maybe a heart felt letter and some beautiful flowers.

ettacat:

--- Quote from: veryfluffy on December 31, 2006, 12:06:09 PM ---This weekend we learned that DH's aunt has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour, with about 6 months to live. We have no idea what is appropriate to do in this situation. She is in her 60s, and DH is fond of her although he hasn't actually seen her in about 20 years. Contact is limited to a Christmas card and news through his mother. He also speaks to his cousin, her daughter that he grew up with, about once a year.

They live about 10 hours' drive away, so going to visit isn't feasible. It doesn't seem right to send a card that says, "Sorry to hear you are terminally ill." I don't even know if it would be okay to phone his cousin and ask if there was anything we could do -- it just seems so awkward to dwell on someone being told they are going to die.

--- End quote ---


A card more along the lines of "Thinking of You" would be great.

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