General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

If I Can Respect Yours, Why Can't You Respect Mine (Just a Rant)

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Yarnspinner:
I've started to post about this before, found I got too long winded and gave up.  But because I want to get rid of my newbie status, I thought I would come back and try again.  It's really a just a rant and I'm not looking for advice because the staff/work/situation is SO strange (I'm in a civil service job that doesn't quite follow civil service rules) the normal solutions would not fit.

First up, this may SEEM like a rant against religion.  It's not.  It's a rant about manners in the workplace regarding relgion.  Second, I am NOT going to name the religions.  We'll just say that I am of Faith A, three support staff members are of Faith B and Boss is of Faith C when she is of a mind to have one.  Third, I am QUITE aware that not everyone of Faith B behaves in the manner I'll describe. There are other members of their faith in the system and none of them behave in this manner.  It's a personality thing, not a faith thing.   Finally, I want to make clear that, most of the time, I actually enjoy working with these ladies.  We have a lot of fun, but if things take a dark turn (a patron complains, teens misbehave, etc,)  suddenly they all back off leaving boss and I to deal with the mess OR criticizing the way boss and I are handling the mess but not offering any solutions.  That's a rant for another time.

My whining in no particular order:

1) Members of their flock come in for lengthy visits (upwards of two to three hours) to discuss matters at the church, gossip (which always makes me grin since I hear about what a sin that is) and pick apart other faiths.  They do this sometimes to such an extent that I am virtually alone on desk and if I ask for help (a crowd that needs to be checked out, say, or three separate reference questions) I am told "We are busy."  BUT, if I am off doing something work related (weeding book shelves, answering a reference question) and things get busy, they snark at me because they need help and I'm "wasting time."  (I won't say I don't waste time--I do--but I would appreciate being called on it when I am actually wasting time, thanks awfully.)

2) They can ask all kinds of questions about my church and press for full answers, but I can't do the same.  Queen (not her real name, called so because she thinks she should run the branch) cross examined me for half an hour on the practice of wearing a crucifix.  But when I asked why her church refers to evangelists as "copy editors"  (that wasn't the real term, but it did relate to manuscript and publishing) she went defensive and told me it wasn't for her to say.  I back pedaled and said "I just wondered because you use the term a lot and it's unusual for evangelization and I like to understand so I can make others understand."  She said something like "We don't evangelize.  We spread the word.  And it's just the term we use.  It's what we call it.  It's just a word, it doesn't have an special meaning."  I left it at that.

3) Our "celebrations" have to be subdued because references to holidays, birthdays or feast days of any kind bother Support Staff.  Queen often gets on my case about telling ghost stories at Halloween.  "How can you support satanism and call yourself a Xian?"  Her rationale was that there are no scary stories in the Bible and I pointed out several that are more horrific than any ghost story I could tell.  "Yes, but those are TRUE," she said.  At Christmas, with me sitting not two feet away, she and another member of her church will make fun of my religion's celebrations and traditions "...and they're worshipping a TREE!  They don't even realize they're worshipping SATAN by decorating that tree!"  or "It's so stupid, all that mess.  Giving presents to each other and putting themselves above God."  (This after I have explained about some of these things.  RRRRGH.)

4) Holidays DO serve a purpose, though.  Although it's ridiculous to take off a day to honor someone that isn't God, or to have a special day to give thanks, it's apparently nice to be able to take all the days around the holiday so you can be with YOUR family while preventing your co-workers who do celebrate from spending much time with theirs.  I always put in early for the time after Thanksgiving because that's the only time most of my family is together.  Queen and Wanna-be (third member of the triumverate) take several vacations a year to visit with their families...but they grab up as many of the holiday eves and days after holidays as well.  It's probably petty of me, but this business really burns my biscuits. 

5) Jury duty, in this city anyway, can be an all day or fifteen minute affair.  If it's the latter, the rule is, you come back to work if you've been rejected during the voire dire process.  (Hope I spelled that right.)  Support Staff goes to jury duty, presents their religious "pass"  (which is fine by me)  then they go home or shopping or whatever.  Even if we are short staffed.

6)  All three will call in sick on the same day.  I will hear later that they were not sick but doing something for the church.  Is it really a good practice to leave two lone staff members to deal with the crowds?  They will also claim exclusion if Boss needs people to staff service desks at Community Service Fairs in the neighborhood.  Since the places with the largest venues for these fairs are local churches, Support Staff immediately plays the "We can't set foot on another church's grounds" because they hate doing it.  Even when the fair was at a daycare center, they begged off because the daycare center was connected to a Church on the other side of the street.

7) They ask how I can continue to worship in a religion that has suffered many stigmas in the last few years (think child abuse scandals) and expect me to stay calm and civil...but ignore or become testy when someone mentions similar scandals taking place in their house of worship.

I'm sorry this is so long.  I wanted to get it off my chest before the New Year (I promised myself that I would not crab about this to boss anymore as she has discovered--the hard way--that the Big Bosses won't back her up on any of the things she wants to do to stop these guys from using their religion as a ticket out of doing things they don't want to do.  If she can't do anything, listening to me isn't going to ease her pain.)  We've gone all the regular routes, including talking to our Union rep, but the rep didn't want to go there because the thing could get ugly.  Boss and I know, though, that we live with the daily threat of being called up for prejudice for saying completely innocuous things.

I keep reciting to myself "Five more years and then I can Retire."  If I live that long.

Thanks for listening.  I'm not looking for advice.  (Maybe this should be in the "I Need a Hug" board.) Advice I have in spades...and none of it is workable.  Anyone have similar rants about co workers using their faith as a "get out of stuff free" card?  I'd like to know I'm not the only one.

And again, to any board members who might belong to "Faith B":  I'm not generalizing this to "you as a group"...I'm personalizing it to these three individuals.  All religions have 'em, but when you spout your faith's tenets from the mountain tops, criticize the beliefs of your co-workers--and then clearly can be seen to abuse what your faith provides...you're not really following your faith--your following your comfort.

bibbety:
Wow. That seems like an incredibly unpleasant workplace. I also think your co-workers are violating all kinds of human rights statutes (I have no idea where you are), but since you didn't want advice, I'll refrain. But you are in a civil service job and there should eb some recourse.

Chartreuse:
If you've got ample evidence that they're allowed to slack off and not do their jobs simply because of their religious beliefs, then you've got basis for a religious harassment claim, correct?  They're being treated better than everyone else in the workplace, because they're basically holding everyone else hostage.  Essentially, let us do whatever we please, or we'll sue.  Well, because your bosses allow that crap to continue, they're discriminating against everyone else in the workplace, thus opening themselves up to legal issues should somebody pursue it.  Because they're Religion B, they're getting away with better treatment than everyone who is not Religion B.  I'm not a lawyer, but I would think that if you're in the US, you've got a pretty good reason to get a lawyer who's an expert on discrimination/workplace rights cases and see what they say about it.  I know it's not fun to rock the boat, but that sounds like a living hell to deal with every day.

Quick Edit:  Look into the concept specifically about "harrassment", specifically based on the things that your coworkers say about/to you and others... the stuff you mentioned in your #3 could likely qualify.

Suze:
Not supposed to discriminate on the basis of religion.  hmmm.

lets see now when I was hired, my job was to show up to work and do my job. 
That includes going to where my boss tells me to work. (within reason of course)

What do they think that they will burst into flame or something if they set foot in another church - or are they that insecure of their own religion that they can't be "tempted" with even seeing another church?

If there are rules in place for the things like the jury duty thing.  At my job I could be fired for doing what they did.  (not coming back to work, when I knew that I wouldn't have to stay)

No religion at all - just - you didn't come back to work - that's a mark against you - too many marks and you are out the door.  just, You didn't follow the rules, so long. 

standing around for a good bit of the day would have the same effect. NO JOB.

sounds like they have the system worked out to play it as much as they can and still keep a job.

I hate people who do things like that.  Leaves a bad taste for everyone who has to deal with them, because somehow you end up with the "fuzzy end of the lollypop" everytime, and they come out on top and smug about it.

sorry I ranted on a bit too, chin up, let off steam here, and maybe you won't need to hide a body anytime soon. ;)

ClaireC79:
you can get off jury service for religious reasons?  How does that work?

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