Author Topic: not registered for baby shower  (Read 4614 times)

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newf

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not registered for baby shower
« on: July 18, 2007, 09:10:40 AM »
Hi All,

My daughter is having our first grandchild.  Her sisters are throwing a baby shower for her.  It will be a luncheon at a local restaurant. 

A guest called yesterday to tell me what a mistake my daughter is making by not being registered.  She went on and on about how she is not going to get what she 'wants'. 

I was under the impression that we are inviting friends to share the special time with us and if they want to bring gifts, fine...if they don't fine.  It's not really about 'getting stuff so we don't have to buy it later'.  And since this is the first baby in the family, we are 'out of the loop' on all the new baby things in the stores....

So, I was wondering if any of you had any helpful comments on not registering. 






NOVA Lady

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2007, 09:42:11 AM »
Isn't it easy enough to guess what a new mom wants?

Diapers and onsies are a staple! Can't have too many blankets!

bms2000

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2007, 09:43:06 AM »
If your daughter has any specific needs, you can of course pass them along (i.e., She plans on breastfeeding, so she really needs x, or whatever).

But otherwise: "She will be happy with whatever you bring, and she likes to be surprised"

We did not register when our first son came home. After a lot of pressure, we did post a generic list on a website of things we needed, but not from any particular store. So people could see that we had a stroller, but needed an Exersaucer, etc.

NOVA Lady

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2007, 09:49:49 AM »
If your daughter has any specific needs, you can of course pass them along (i.e., She plans on breastfeeding, so she really needs x, or whatever).

But otherwise: "She will be happy with whatever you bring, and she likes to be surprised"

We did not register when our first son came home. After a lot of pressure, we did post a generic list on a website of things we needed, but not from any particular store. So people could see that we had a stroller, but needed an Exersaucer, etc.


I like the general list idea. It lets people bargain shop and look out for deals, search online and so on :)

ProperLady

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2007, 10:46:03 AM »
I agree with the others. You and other family members involved with the shower are sure to be asked this question.  Even though including registry info with a shower invite is acceptable, it's really great you are choosing to go this other route. Most people want and expect to bring a gift to a baby shower, so if you and other family members can just have a mental list ready to go, you can answer any questions that come along. Maybe have 5 or 6 generic items on the list.

Sure, she may end up receiving two of something she only needs one of, but those things can be returned and exchanged for whatever else she needs. As far as the friend who went "on and on", I'm sure she was trying to help, but she should have dropped the issue after you stated that this was how your daughter wanted the shower.


BJPF

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2007, 11:17:59 AM »
I confess there are many times that I love when a couple registers for a baby or bridal shower.

Sometimes it is fun to seek out the perfect gift(s) but at times I don't want to really think (hard day/week/month at work or attending many showers in a short time period).  I can print out the registry and select item(s) in my price range and get out. (Or better yet, do it online, pay for shipping, and the gifts are delivered wrapped).




Summrs

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2007, 11:20:25 AM »
I don't have any problem with not registering.  As it was pointed out, there's nothing hard about shopping for a newborn.  

On the other hand, OP, showers ARE really about "getting stuff."  Guests shower the mother-to-be with gifts, so the guests will expect that they have to bring one.

newf

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2007, 11:32:47 AM »
Yeah, I understand that showers are about gifts.  But I think sometimes it has just gone too far....like we have to think about everything that we could possibly need and then find a place to tell you where to buy it......I don't know, I just don't feel the love there. 

I do like letting guests choose their own gifts but I know sometimes people want direction.  So thanks to those of you who suggested we have some generic ideas for suggestions when asked.  I'll be sure to tell my daughter that. 

jimithing

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2007, 12:17:19 PM »
I actually like registries for weddings but I never buy anything off them for baby showers.  There are things that a new mom and dad will always need, no matter  how many they already have, like diapers or onesies.  I think it's a pretty easy task to shop for things for a baby, such as clothes and other things.  In fact, sitting in the back seat of my car is a baby gift I am shipping off that doesn't include a single thing off the couple's registry, but are all things that are fun and useful.  I also like to give unique, fun things that they wouldn't otherwise receive.

For a wedding, I do find it helpful to know what a bride and groom wants or needs to start their new life together.  Really, you only need one toaster, blender, etc.  I don't want to duplicate any of these items.  Although, off topic, I'm not sure a lot of people know how to read a registry anyway.  Looking at my friend's registry, several people kept buying things that were already "fulfilled" and so they received 4 clocks and 5 mirrors. 

GlindaBunny

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2007, 12:40:30 PM »
I say go ahead and register.  Some helpful items for this type of situation are:

1 Can of Spam
1 Box of Latex Gloves
1 Flyswatter
1 Roll of Duct Tape
1 Jar of Petroleum Jelly


They'll never bug her about registering again :)

bopper

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2007, 03:57:06 PM »
There is nothing wrong with registering and telling people when (and only when) they ask.  The guest is saying that they want to get you a gift, something you want, something you need, something that nobody else is getting you.  You are saying "Well you have to guess what I want/need/don't have."  I am sure your daughter will get many lovely things.

Evil Duckie

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2007, 04:23:17 PM »
I don't have a problem with people not registering for a baby shower. It is not rocket science to figure out are the basics that a baby needs.

I always give a basket of safety items, plug covers, drawer stops, cabinet door locks, etc. These are things that the parents will need but are seldom on the registries. I have had more than one first time parent give me a forced smile when they opened the gift and found safety items, but a few months later they would tell me that they really appreciated it because they needed it alot sooner than they thought and were relieved that they many of the items on hand.

LissaR1

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2007, 04:41:45 PM »
Personally, I think registering for a baby shower is a nice convenience for everyone, in that it helps to avoid duplicate gifts, or give an idea of what decor the parents might be thinking.  But it's certainly not required.

Before I had my son, I used to give children's books.  (Although I'd avoid Goodnight Moon.  Great book, but we got three copies :) )  After, I've only been to one, but I've given the items I found most immediately useful.  (For my sister, I gave her a toy organizer and a bouncer seat.) 

Honestly, I never used the onesies.  Am I the only parent that didn't?  (Although I liked the sleepers, and sleep sacks are THE BEST!)

If I want to buy a bigger gift, or go in with others for a bigger gift, I like having a registry.  If not, no biggie. 

twinkletoes

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2007, 04:53:00 PM »
I think registries are great for specific, bigger items - a stroller or a carseat, for instance.  There are so many on the market, and it seems like parents really research the one they really want for their kids.  Unless I could find/was told the specific make/model of something like that, I wouldn't buy it.  The last thing I'd want to do is make the parent(s)to-be have to run out and return the gift!

I like the idea of suggesting books as a gift. I also like the idea of onesies, and a safety basket. 

On a tangent:  I'm another one who likes registries.  If I really can't think of something original, I like to use them - especially, as another poster said, when I have to attend a few showers/I'm pressed for time/I'm too tired or busy to be creative.

MrsP81

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Re: not registered for baby shower
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2007, 07:22:42 PM »
As a guest, I love it when people register because then I know what they want/need. However, I would never complain if someone wasn't registered.