The oddest thing just happened....

[Hawkwatcher]

I am guessing that your "guests" probably had no clue about how much work it took for you and your husband to fix this meal.  I suspect that they let their wives do most of the work when they host parties.  Not that this excuses their horribly rude behavior, but I hope that one of them tells his wife about what they did and she explains to him why his behavior was rude.  Seriously, all of these people owe you an apology.

For what it is worth, I am sure that Mrs. Gee did not win any points with her guests for not being ready when they arrived and having the food brought in from another party.  Personally, if I had been one of Mrs. Gee's guests, I would have felt totally uncomfortable arriving at a house and finding that the hosts were not ready for me.  I would probably have left early.   

[audhs]

GEE,  who couldn't make it as he and his wife have a new baby and a toddler..... Then my husband tells me that the party is moving to GEE's house.   

Is this normal? I have never had one of my parties moved to someone else's house before.  I'm not angry, I'm not upset.... I'm just stunned.

No this is not normal (as you already know)  My husband and I also have a toddler and a new baby we had my husbands brother and sister in law over for cards. this is what normal people do if at that last minute they realize it's just too much work to either host a party or to go out. 

[kkl123]

I guess they thought it was okay to take the food  I had provided "To Go"! 

And I think I would have let them take the food, but not the dishes... can you see them all trying to hold half a dozen devilled eggs in their open hands?

And yes, I would have *greatly* enjoyed my time in eHell.  <g>

[Tabris]

Somehow the 5 guys just couldn't play poker without Gee. 

I would suggest that if he ordinarily plays poker with them at other locations, your husband cease doing so immediately. He shouldn't only refuse to invite them to his house--he should refuse to go to theirs as well.

[ccnumber4]

I'm sorry you had such a weird experience.  And no, it is not normal.  Rude beyond belief.  And as others have said, think hard before agreeing to host these folks again.    

[Quossum]

No, that weird experience is not "how things are done here in Texas"--it's rude regardless of state.

It was rude of almost everyone involved, except for you.  I'm afraid that were I in your shoes my bewildered DH would not get a bye for abandoning me on New Year's Eve under these circumstances, either.

I get a sense that GEE must be sort of the Queen Bee of the group, to be able to command that much power over the other guys.  I know in certain groups that I've been a part of, there's usually one person whose opinion / vote is worth more than anyone else's.  For example, in a quilting group I was in, the other eight or nine members of the group could decide, "Okay, we're going to hold the Christmas party at X location,"--but if the Queen Bee of the group showed up, she had absolute veto power and could change whatever decision had been made and agreed upon with a snap of her fingers (and would, too, just because she could).  No other member of the group had the grapes to say Boo to her.  But everyone wanted to be a part of the group and so they put up with / went along with her.  (Eventually the group imploded, but that's a story for another time.)

It sounds like GEE (or by extension, GEE's wife) runs this group, and the others, for whatever reason, go along with him / her.  I can sympathize with your DH, wanting to be a part of things, wanting to abscond along with the food to GEE's house.  Sympathize, but not agree with!

In the heat of the moment, odd things happen, but now you're more prepared for this group's dynamics.

--Q

[Gileswench]

My gob is well and truly smacked with this one!

I've heard of cases where a party is broken up and moved by some form of mutual consent (or the gentle suggestion of the law), but never one where the party has been hijacked by a guest who failed to show up! Let alone a case where the failed hostess of an entirely different party decided to hijack someone's party!

GEE and GEE's wife are both going to spend a lot of time in the flames of the lowest rung of eHell for this one.

I definitely agree with those who say the food and hubby should have stayed firmly put. I know it's not easy in the midst of such a completely unexpected moment to stay calm and refuse to be bulldozed, but that's the only way to make sure these people don't keep right on bulldozing.

Never, ever, under any circumstances invite these people into your home again.

[IndianInlaw]

I think this story is worthy of the regular E-Hell site.

[Suze]

I think this story is worthy of the regular E-Hell site.

Me too -- This one should be recorded for posterity

Jaw dropper for sure

[KenveeB]

Wow, I'm just absolutely mind-boggled by this one!  With luck, in a day or two you'll be getting groveling apologies from these men after they told their wives what rudeness they got to!  My goodness.  I can't even imagine stealing someone else's party just because you couldn't manage to get ready on time!

[MineralDiva]

GEE couldn't make it, so everyone moved over to GEE's house instead of coming to yours?  Or after coming to yours...took food and all over there!  Oh...my....GOSH! 

It would be a cold day in E-Hell before I ever hosted another function for "those" people!

[VorFemme]

#1 - Please immediately post "the neighbor poached our poker party on New Year's Eve" to the main site.  This one is certain to be one of the NEW classics.............

#2 - If there is ever a question as to WHY you and the DH no longer host these events for the coworkers - have your hubby practise a gob-smacked look in the mirror and some suitable comment.......such as "but we thought that you didn't LIKE having the poker group meet at our house - the last time you all picked up OUR food and took it over to Gee's house!"

#3 - I suggest that you two find a different social circle to play cards with - none of them from your husband's office.  Bridge would let both of you play without any eyebrows raised............  Spades might be easier to learn (bidding is similar but the trump suit is always spades and there is no "dummy"). 

#4 - If, for whatever unknown reason there is another poker night at your house - put them in the unheated garage, serve them ONE bag of chips, and (is Katie Wirth here - what else did your in-laws do at the last get-together at their place?) generally let them know that they are about as welcome as skunk - and one suspected of carrying rabies, at that.

[Slartibartfast]

Wow, I think I would have done the same thing you did (emerged from the whole thing a bit bewildered), but I would have started sticking my food in the fridge the moment it was clear everyone was leaving.  That way they'd actually have to stop me to take MY food to someone else's party, and I could call them on it >:-)  (Well, that's what the idealized sticking-up-for-myself would have done . . . no idea whether that's based in reality or not.)

I can understand that your DH felt the need to go with the rest of the group, but I'm guessing a group of four other guys weren't all THAT tacky individually - if the idea was floating about moving to another location, your DH should have firmly put his foot down and said "No, I'm staying with my wife to celebrate New Years at the party she planned; I'm sorry you all want to leave."  At the least it should have shamed them into staying (or at least feeling guilty about leaving), and it also probably would have protected your food by establishing the line that THIS party was still here and swinging, albeit with only two people, and they were going to a SEPARATE party if they chose to leave.

[Gigi]

What a bunch of clods.  I hope you cross them off your hospitality list forever!

[CreteGirl]

As others have said, this is one for the e-hell Hall of Shame!  I can imagined how stunned you must have been when this happened.  How completely thoughtless.  Have you heard from any of the people who left?