Author Topic: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.  (Read 15095 times)

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kareng57

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #120 on: October 14, 2011, 09:34:31 PM »
Oh man, I can relate to this one, still makes me MAD!

Apx. 3 years ago I stupidly flew in to my nieces wedding and not a niece that I am crazy about.  I won't go into the details, but what a hugh mistake.  It wasn't my 50th but nevertheless, it was Sunday after the wedding, and my Bday was barely acknowledged.  We paid a lot of money to fly in, board the animals, rental car...and my spoiled niece still felt it should be about her, so they made sure to NOT even acknowledge me as well and treat me and my family very badly.. the one night we stayed with them.

Go to Vegas or something and have a great 50th and tell them to eat CROW!!  Oh and her wedding was crappy to boot, a wedding they are now all in debt for!!!  Yes still!


Well, you're being awfully vague here about treating your family "very badly".  However, lots of adults just don't make a big deal out of their own birthdays and perhaps they didn't think that there was a need to recognise your birthday; did you expect it to be announced at the reception, perhaps?

I find your last two sentences to be awfully mean-spirited; that's not really what we're all about, here.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #121 on: October 14, 2011, 09:39:02 PM »
I remember my godfather got married on my 9th birthday but I didn't mind at all, and in fact thought it was pretty cool but then I loved weddings at that age, and the chance to get to wear a pretty dress. 

But now I don't know if I'd want to go to a wedding on my birthday, just cause I kinda like relaxing and doing my own thing on that day. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

kareng57

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #122 on: October 14, 2011, 09:44:33 PM »
I remember my godfather got married on my 9th birthday but I didn't mind at all, and in fact thought it was pretty cool but then I loved weddings at that age, and the chance to get to wear a pretty dress. 

But now I don't know if I'd want to go to a wedding on my birthday, just cause I kinda like relaxing and doing my own thing on that day. :)



Sure, that's fine, but it doesn't sound to me as though you'd be offended that someone planned their wedding on your birthday.  If you decline, that's fine.  But some folks do seem to have the expectation that no HC would dare to plan a wedding on their "own" special-day.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #123 on: October 14, 2011, 09:59:47 PM »
No, I wouldn't be offended.  I didn't get the impression that the OP was offended either, just that on top of not really being able to afford to go, she really didn't want to either.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

gramma dishes

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #124 on: October 14, 2011, 10:02:15 PM »
We got married on my brother's AND my very best life long friend's birthday.  We told them we picked that date in their honor.  ;D

Both came to the wedding and neither seemed to feel that they were being disrespected in any way.  But I realize every situation is different.  Just because my brother and my friend didn't care doesn't mean that it might not be extremely important to other people.

Having said that, I doubt if the OP's sister chose that date specifically because she knew it would interfere with her sister's plans for her very special 50th birthday celebration.  Or maybe she did?  ???

kareng57

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #125 on: October 14, 2011, 10:04:15 PM »
No, I wouldn't be offended.  I didn't get the impression that the OP was offended either, just that on top of not really being able to afford to go, she really didn't want to either.


I agree that's fine but I'm still a bit puzzled as to the title of the thread, if that really was not the issue.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #126 on: October 14, 2011, 10:18:27 PM »
The OP has stated several times that her main reason for not going is that her 50th birthday falls on the same weekend and that she would rather celebrate her birthday in some special way rather than fly all the way across the country to go to her sister's second wedding.

It really was the issue, hence the title of the thread.  I don't see what the OP has said that is so confusing about this.

Her not being close to her sister is more just the reason behind why she would prioritize things in this way.

penelope2017

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #127 on: October 14, 2011, 10:21:39 PM »
The OP has stated several times that her main reason for not going is that her 50th birthday falls on the same weekend and that she would rather celebrate her birthday in some special way rather than fly all the way across the country to go to her sister's second wedding.

It really was the issue, hence the title of the thread.  I don't see what the OP has said that is so confusing about this.

Her not being close to her sister is more just the reason behind why she would prioritize things in this way.

In my view the point behind the thread was validation for what she'd already decided. She's basically just thanked those who agree with her and justified her reasons to those who don't with reasons aside from her birthday. I don't really see the point behind the thread. If she'd made her decision, and only wanted to listen to those who already agreed with her, why post?

LeveeWoman

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #128 on: October 14, 2011, 10:36:32 PM »
The OP has stated several times that her main reason for not going is that her 50th birthday falls on the same weekend and that she would rather celebrate her birthday in some special way rather than fly all the way across the country to go to her sister's second wedding.

It really was the issue, hence the title of the thread.  I don't see what the OP has said that is so confusing about this.

Her not being close to her sister is more just the reason behind why she would prioritize things in this way.

In my view the point behind the thread was validation for what she'd already decided. She's basically just thanked those who agree with her and justified her reasons to those who don't with reasons aside from her birthday. I don't really see the point behind the thread. If she'd made her decision, and only wanted to listen to those who already agreed with her, why post?

Bit judgmental, much?

JoieGirl7

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #129 on: October 14, 2011, 10:37:46 PM »
The OP has stated several times that her main reason for not going is that her 50th birthday falls on the same weekend and that she would rather celebrate her birthday in some special way rather than fly all the way across the country to go to her sister's second wedding.

It really was the issue, hence the title of the thread.  I don't see what the OP has said that is so confusing about this.

Her not being close to her sister is more just the reason behind why she would prioritize things in this way.

In my view the point behind the thread was validation for what she'd already decided. She's basically just thanked those who agree with her and justified her reasons to those who don't with reasons aside from her birthday. I don't really see the point behind the thread. If she'd made her decision, and only wanted to listen to those who already agreed with her, why post?

The point of the thread was that she wanted to know whether or not it was OK for her to decline to go to her sister's second wedding because she would rather stay home and celebrate her own 50th birthday.
 
Aside from disagreement on whether or not that should have been communicated to the bride and that other people might prioritize these events differently, I think there is pretty much consensus on the fact that everyone has the right to decline to attend an event.

Wordgeek

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Re: Sorry, I donít want to spend my 50th birthday at your wedding.
« Reply #130 on: October 14, 2011, 11:12:04 PM »
Since the thread has degenerated into people sniping at each other, it's closed.

Is that what you want the forum to be about?