I'm single - not diseased. rant.

[Veronica]

One of the guys I work with is 33 and single.  He is finally starting to get flack from his family because he isn't married (holy pajamas, my flack started at age 25!). 

We were at lunch the other day and he whined that all the single women his age were either divorced (whom he refers to as "tainted") or have never been married (whom he refers to "second round draft picks"). 

I refrained from throwing my diet coke in his face and explained that women normally want to marry a kind and open minded man and that is probably the reason he hasn't had a serious girlfriend in the last few years.  In his defense, he did seem to be a little ashamed of what he had said by the end of lunch. 

* Anyone looking for a single, good-looking guy who makes a decent salary in the South?  He's a fixer-upper personality wise but I'd be willing to help you beat some sense into him. 

I hope you're joking.  I don't live in the South, anyway, but I'd rather never go on a date for the rest of my life than go out w/ someone like that.  Why does he want to date any woman AT ALL?  He sure does seem to like women very much.

Not to worry, I would never set anyone I knew up with him.  Which I've actually told him.  I invited my co-workers to my wedding and he decided not to go because I couldn't promise to set him up with an "attractive woman who would be willing to hook up with him."  I don't think so buddy.  Now he wants to see pictures of the people who came to see if it would have been "worth it" to have gone to the wedding.   

[twinkletoes]

"My only beef with the singles is when they go on and on and on about how much better their life is than mine, how much more freedom they have etc. Or they act like I've somehow offended Gloria Steinem by getting married (I asked, she doesn't mind...and I've followed her for years thank you), etc. I respect your choice, now please respect mine. It's all about our choices, and our freedom to make them as we choose.
Oh, and don't brag to me about the wonders of single life, then in the next breath start kvetching that you need a date, does hubby have any nice friends, etc....."

I agree.  It really made me  mad when some coworkers (who were single) and I were talking about going out after work one night.  I had some reservations about going, and one of them said "Oh, but you don't have that sort of freedom, what with your husband and all."  Eh?  Actually, that sort of comment makes me laugh - my sweet, mild-mannered husband is no warden!

And about the last comment above - that's one (of the many) reasons why I hated "Sex in the City."  They were all "woo-hoo, we don't NEED MEN!" and then 20 minutes later, they'd complain about being alone. 

[snowball's chance]

Or they act like I've somehow offended Gloria Steinem by getting married (I asked, she doesn't mind...and I've followed her for years thank you),

um, she's been married for a couple of years now . . .

eta: I was wrong, she got married almost seven years ago and is a widow
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Steinem

[Sootikin]

Or they act like I've somehow offended Gloria Steinem by getting married (I asked, she doesn't mind...and I've followed her for years thank you),

um, she's been married for a couple of years now . . .

I thought that's what Twik meant by saying she'd 'followed her for years'.

[LadyJaneinMD]

I remember reading a quote from, I believe, an old Quaker woman:

"It takes a mighty good husband to be better than no husband at all"

This is completely, utterly true, and I say this as a happily married person. Living single is great - you can do what you want, when you want, everything stays where you put it, you can decide to eat pizza ever night, or whatever. People need to find a hobby besides harrassing others about their lifestyle choices.

I LOVE IT!!!  That is the most awesome phrase I've ever seen!  I have to pass this around to my single friends.

For what it's worth, apparently being fat and well over 40 is enough to stop people from asking 'So when are YOU going to get married?'   I never get that question anymore. 
What's really funny is when a clueless guy friend told me, 'Y'know, if it weren't for the religious thing, you *could* date some girls.'  Huh?  The religious thing?  How about the fact that...oh, I don't know...I'm NOT INTERESTED in girls??   What a dweeb.

[ninja710]

Quote:  I refrained from throwing my diet coke in his face and explained that women normally want to marry a kind and open minded man and that is probably the reason he hasn't had a serious girlfriend in the last few years. Unquote

This is another great quote I'll have to remember (I'm happily married but run into this kind of clueless person occasionally.)

[snowball's chance]

One of the guys I work with is 33 and single.  He is finally starting to get flack from his family because he isn't married (holy pajamas, my flack started at age 25!). 

We were at lunch the other day and he whined that all the single women his age were either divorced (whom he refers to as "tainted") or have never been married (whom he refers to "second round draft picks"). 

I refrained from throwing my diet coke in his face and explained that women normally want to marry a kind and open minded man and that is probably the reason he hasn't had a serious girlfriend in the last few years.  In his defense, he did seem to be a little ashamed of what he had said by the end of lunch. 

* Anyone looking for a single, good-looking guy who makes a decent salary in the South?  He's a fixer-upper personality wise but I'd be willing to help you beat some sense into him. 

I hope you're joking.  I don't live in the South, anyway, but I'd rather never go on a date for the rest of my life than go out w/ someone like that.  Why does he want to date any woman AT ALL?  He sure does seem to like women very much.

Not to worry, I would never set anyone I knew up with him.  Which I've actually told him.  I invited my co-workers to my wedding and he decided not to go because I couldn't promise to set him up with an "attractive woman who would be willing to hook up with him."  I don't think so buddy.  Now he wants to see pictures of the people who came to see if it would have been "worth it" to have gone to the wedding.   

"Actually, shallow co-worker, there will be many attractive women.  Desperate, no."

[waterwren]

left handed = evil?
not to be trusted?
the wrong side of life?
just not "right"? (pun intended)

you can get enough flack as a kid about being "wrong handed" and now here you are still single....It must be because you are left-handed.....

Wrong Handed but right minded.

 When I was in high school a teacher taught me this saying

"If the right side of the brain controlls the left side of the body and the left rode of the brain controls the right, only left hand handed people are in their right minds." Yeah he was a bit weird but it shut people up.

[waterwren]

If you are single, you are looked on suspiciously as though you want a boyfriend or husband so bad, you'll steal someone else's.  [/quote]

 I get that too...and it's well known that I am celibate. What am I going to do with a bf or hubby? Make him chage the lightbulbs? come on!

 You'd also not beleive the quetions I get being openly celibate and non christian. It's a hoot sometimes!


 There's a few things that bother me...my married family members and  friends,especially my friends with kids have this expectation that they get gifts for every occasion as inviduals, but they buy for me as a family. So I end up buying 5 -6 gifts for them for Christmas and end up  getting one $15 gift certificate from them as a unit. Great. I know "its the thought that counts" but really? I've tried the "family gift" for them, and got told how selfish I was that year.

 THe way things get "fairly divided" aka "each household pays" sorry I don't mind paying my own way but my share should not equal a famil of  6's nor if We are paying equal amounts for groceries to be "split" should you get 6 times what I do. I am not here to be paying your way.


 the placing of singles at the "kids table" I am not a child, and I resent being treated like one.

 it's opposite - "every ADULT must take a turn minding the kids" I didn't make them, I don't bring them you tend your own kids

[snowball's chance]

the placing of singles at the "kids table" I am not a child, and I resent being treated like one.

along w/, I REALLY don't need to be sent home w/ half a ham & 2 pumpkin pies, unless you're offering that much leftovers to everyone.  Just b/c I'm single income doesn't mean I can't afford groceries.

[blue2000]

it's opposite - "every ADULT must take a turn minding the kids" I didn't make them, I don't bring them you tend your own kids

Ugh, I HATE this one! I get it from my family. "Everyone else wants an 'adult night out' (or afternoon) together, so YOU get to babysit."

So you are saying you still consider me a teenager just because I'm not married? And an unpaid one at that? Um, no thanks. I'll stay home.

[Brentwood]

Try being single and left-handed, then get back with me. 

Yeah! I was single for many years, and left-handed to boot!

[waterwren]

it's opposite - "every ADULT must take a turn minding the kids" I didn't make them, I don't bring them you tend your own kids

Ugh, I HATE this one! I get it from my family. "Everyone else wants an 'adult night out' (or afternoon) together, so YOU get to babysit."

So you are saying you still consider me a teenager just because I'm not married? And an unpaid one at that? Um, no thanks. I'll stay home.

 Those two attitudes are why I refuse to go to family parties anymore. 

[Brentwood]

And I swear one day when someone comes up to me again and says, "Oh poor baby, you're too young to be married.  You never even going to get to have fun in your 20s."  I'm going to whack them with a clue by four - maybe I can borrow it from one of you single people?

Tell them you'll make up for it by having lots of fun in your 40s when your kids are raised and self-sufficient, and you'll have lots more money for it then.

[Brentwood]

We were at lunch the other day and he whined that all the single women his age were either divorced (whom he refers to as "tainted") or have never been married (whom he refers to "second round draft picks"). 

Hmm. Well. I didn't get married until I was 31, and I'm nobody's "second round draft pick."