Empowering the people ie Don't let the Teacher's Pets have all the fun

[furrcats]

Is there a character limit to the explanation box when you report a post? Last time I reported a post it wasn't because the post itself was bad but because the entire thread seemed to be going downhill but I wasn't sure how much of an explanation I could put into the box so I was very short. Now I wonder if I can get a wordier explanation in if there is a next time.

You could always write, "Thread gone off rails. Send help."

That's a great idea

[AngelicGamer]

Is there a character limit to the explanation box when you report a post? Last time I reported a post it wasn't because the post itself was bad but because the entire thread seemed to be going downhill but I wasn't sure how much of an explanation I could put into the box so I was very short. Now I wonder if I can get a wordier explanation in if there is a next time.

You could always write, "Thread gone off rails. Send help."

That's a great idea

I have done that before and it seems to work.  Or others sent in other complaints about the thread. 

Dame, I know you don't approve of them otherwise, but I think the mods and you should be allowed sock puppet accounts.  If only so you can have fun in your own home.

[pierrotlunaire0]

I once came onto a thread in which I asked a poster why they had posted.  But please let me explain:  this was the 3rd time the OP had posted about a run in/confrontation they had had with a person in their life.  A few posters in the first 2 threads had said: (1) I can see why your frenemy behaved the way they did, or (2) you may have created or exacerbated the problem, or even (3) what could you have done differently.  And everytime the OP blew off the advice, or said the dissenters were wrong, just wrong, and her behavior was fine, it was this frenemy.

On the third thread, we are going through a different situation with the frenemy, but the underlying issue is the same.  A few people again start to point out what the OP is doing, and the OP lashed into them: it was not OP that is the problem, it is this frenemy!  There then came a small rash of posters (including me) who said: Why are you posting?  You go through the same thing every time, you react the same way every time, you blow off any attempt to look at your own part in this.  What do you want?  Validation for your behavior?  Obviously you are not going to get it because enough people are not agreeing with you.

The thread was locked shortly after, but I don't think those of us who asked the question were out of line.  None of them were snarky, and it was a very valid question, especially because this was the 3rd time.

In terms of reporting, I can say that about half the time I have reported (and I haven't done many) it was about a thread that I had not posted in.  When I have reported it has usually been for a specific comment that was outrageously snarky, or when a specific poster was warned and kept right on in the direction they had been heading.

One final comment: all this talk about pets and favoritism, I have no idea what is being discussed.  I rarely check the INAH folder, and am more likely to be in the Work or Life In General. 

[Wordgeek]

If it's a generalized problem within the thread with a whole lotta guilty parties contributing, a comment like "thread getting heated / snippy / political / whatever" sends the right message.  If it's two people , do the same : "X and Y are derailing the thread", etc.

I've also closed threads because the OP wasn't actually interested in useful or constructive advice, but just wanted validation.

For grey areas, I find it useful for the members themselves to try and work things out.  By grey areas, I mean personality conflicts or differences in posting style or differences of opinion.  All the things that aren't really violations per se but are still grating.

For a wider problem not confined to one thread, the PM feature is a good tool.  Like EhellDame said, we have respect for those who use their judgment and discretion and have the good of the forum at heart.   Then the mods will post them in the mod folder and discuss the situation and how to handle it.

[Two Ravens]

If it's a generalized problem within the thread with a whole lotta guilty parties contributing, a comment like "thread getting heated / snippy / political / whatever" sends the right message.  If it's two people , do the same : "X and Y are derailing the thread", etc.

I've also closed threads because the OP wasn't actually interested in useful or constructive advice, but just wanted validation.

For grey areas, I find it useful for the members themselves to try and work things out.  By grey areas, I mean personality conflicts or differences in posting style or differences of opinion.  All the things that aren't really violations per se but are still grating.

For a wider problem not confined to one thread, the PM feature is a good tool.  Like EhellDame said, we have respect for those who use their judgment and discretion and have the good of the forum at heart.   Then the mods will post them in the mod folder and discuss the situation and how to handle it.

Who should we PM?  Just one mod?  All of them?  Do you guys have different areas, one for LIG, another for F&C, and so forth?

[furrcats]

Thanks wordgreek that helps a lot

[Wordgeek]

You can PM anyone.  If it's more urgent, look at Who's Online on the bottom of the front page.  The moderator's names show up in red or blue - PM whoever's around.

[Giggity]

You can PM anyone.  If it's more urgent, look at Who's Online on the bottom of the front page.  The moderator's names show up in red or blue - PM whoever's around.

Hey, thanks! (I learned something. That means I can go home early, right?)

[Wordgeek]

Gold star!

[Giggity]

Ima show my boss that tomorrow. In your FACE, world!

[realgonegal1]

All my threads go off the rails.  Must be something in the water here 

Usually, I'm asking the mods to close a thread that I started. 

Clearly, I need to stick to lurking.

[wolfie]

Do we need to PM a mod? Can't we just use the report button?

[Audrey Quest]

Do we need to PM a mod? Can't we just use the report button?

PMing a mod was suggested for those problems that are not confined to one thread.
 
Using the report button only gives you a certain number of characters to explain something so I would guess that actually PMing a mod would give you a better chance to explain a more complicated circumstance.

[LadyL]

Do we need to PM a mod? Can't we just use the report button?

PMing a mod was suggested for those problems that are not confined to one thread.
 
Using the report button only gives you a certain number of characters to explain something so I would guess that actually PMing a mod would give you a better chance to explain a more complicated circumstance.

Thanks for clarifying this. Once in a blue moon there is a posting pattern that spans across threads that seems problematic to me, but is not appropriate to use the report function for. It's more of a meta issue with a poster. I never thought to PM a mod with a more detailed explanation but that's a great idea.

[kingsrings]

I think you might be misunderstanding the problem, it's not about disagreement, it's about a bullish refusal to admit that there might be any other perspective to a problem. It's not the disagreement that is the problem, it's the lack of respect for other posters.

People are entitled to keep their opinions.  People don't have the right to demand that others see their side of things.  They can argue that its one way or another, and other people can disagree.  But, to call them out as disrespectful because they refuse to agree or acknowledge another POV, I think, isn't appropriate.

I have seen examples of responses to this and I do think they make the thread go downhill.
 
Catty comments like "but I guess nothing I say will change your mind..."
 
or

"it's obvious you just posted for validation because you are not admitting that you did anything wrong!"
 
Neither of those types of statements advance the discussion.
 
Another type of post that concerns me are the ones where people say "Why did you bother to post?"
 
These are all posts that turn the discussion onto the discussion.  Instead of discussing the topic at hand, posters start discussing the discussion and their fellow posters and how they are discussing.

It turns it into a "meta" thread.

The rules have always been that if you have a problem with someone that you should take it to PM.  I think that doing that or reporting the post to a moderator is much better than turning the thread in on itself.

I dislike that as well – a poster will get irritated because the OP doesn’t just automatically change their minds upon reading responses that they don’t agree with. Comments like that just aren’t helpful at all and lead the discussion into a downward spiral of snarkiness.

As for taking the discussion to PM, if it can be done civilly, then go for it. But sometimes they don’t in PM because not everybody can see it, just the two posters. And some posters don’t want to PM discuss anything, so they would see anyone sending them a PM as something bad and inflammatory.

Ignoring someone you have a problem with (or their post) is the best bet, but that has to be respected by the board. Too many times posters who ignore are then negatively called out for doing so. Again, that doesn’t add anything but snarkiness to the discussion,