Thoughts on registering for honeymoon???

[MadMadge43]

But a honeymoon isn't a wedding related expense. If they were asking them to pay for the napkins or centerpieces that would be a wedding related gift.

And I thought that providing a wedding related gift, such as doing the photography or making the cake was perfectly acceptable.

[Brentwood]

And I thought that providing a wedding related gift, such as doing the photography or making the cake was perfectly acceptable.

Providing such a gift is acceptable. What I would find unacceptable would be someone registering for it.

[ZipTheWonder]

Taking a honeymoon is one of the expenses of getting married.  If it's unrelated to the celebration of a new marriage, it's not a honeymoon, and it would be inappropriate to solicit funds for it. 

And doing the photography or making the cake IS a perfectly acceptable gift for a friend to offer, but it certainly is not something for which one properly registers. 

[Pixie]

My personal thoughts on it are..... I paid for my honeymoon, "You" can pay for yours.

[VorFemme]

then perhaps "comsumeables" might be fun.

What is a consumeable?  Thanks!

Heather

Consumeables for an ESTABLISHED couple might be supplies for a hobby (rolls of film for a couple that likes to take photographs), bottles of wine (for a couple that  likes to entertain by throwing a wine tasting party), or something else that they would LIKE - but might not buy for themselves..........at least most of the time. 

I've heard of someone taking a year of shopping clearance sales to collect a box of paper plates, cups, tableclothes, and such to give "a year of parties" in a box - where the supplies for an easily cleaned up but THEMED to the month's holiday(s) were there.  The first anniversary is the "paper" anniversary and it seemed rather cute.

[MadMadge43]

My personal thoughts on it are..... I paid for my honeymoon, "You" can pay for yours.

And I already paid for my toaster so please don't. Just because you didn't get something doesn't mean others can't.

Scenario: You already have everything  you need and want, but could use help making your honeymoon more special and not put you into debt. Do you register for stuff you don't want or need because that's what people want you to do? Do you not register and have a bunch of people think, oh they just want cash or are annoyed because they want to get you something you want? Or do you register for something you actually want?

I'd much rather purchase something they could use than get them something they don't want. (of course if b/g are just using it as a cash laundering system I'd be annoyed, but I'm going with the bennefit of the doubt that if they don't want to swim with the dolphins they're not going to put it on the registery).

I really am at a loss. What are the b/g supposed to do? I have yet to find an acceptable answer to this. And don't say dont' accept gifts because that opens a whole other can of worms.

[MadMadge43]

I did look up a few of these sites and there is something that bothers me. Of the 5 I looked at they do in fact, just write you a check. Only one sent gift certificates for certain things. Most either charged a percentage which was deducted or had a one time set up fee of about $225. But in all cases these were waived if you booked the travel and the services through the site.

So there is a huge way that b/g could grab the cash and run leaving people out an extra 10%, but if they actually use it for what it is intended the vendor will pay the travel agent their commission. I think you need to be careful about the kind of people you would buy something through this for. Most of my friends would be pretty good, but I can think of one or two that would grab the cash.

Edited to add: but maybe I shouldn't go to the grabby peoples weddings if I think so low of them.

[applepiesy]

I don't see the big deal between registering for a honeymoon or registering for kitchen stuff you'll use like once a year.  I'd rather get somebody something they'll enjoy.  In fact, I'd prefer it because I know how much I enjoy my vacations.  I think it's a fun, different idea, and i'm sick of people thinking things are "tacky" all of the time.  It's tacky to do this, it's tacky to do that.  Can't people just lighten up and enjoy themselves.  I'm glad I don't believe in marriage, cause after reading everything that people think is "tacky" on this board, I'd probably be far to paranoid to enjoy myself.

[MadMadge43]

Welcome Applepiesy, I'm glad you're on board.

[applepiesy]

Welcome Applepiesy, I'm glad you're on board.

Hi. Thanks for the welcome!

BTW, I just reread my post. I didn't mean to sound so annoyed in my above post. Sometimes I forget to soften my words for the internet.

[RandomAngel]

Variations on "Well I paid for my honeymoon myself" miss the point as far as I am concerned. 

Did you pay for your own casserole dishes, sheets, towels, china, crystal, candles, picture frames, etc. as well?  If a couple would rather pay for those things than for their honeymoon, I think it's awfully narrow to call that tacky.

Serving bowls cost money.  Swimming with dolphins costs money.  Both will be treasured.  Why is it tacky to ask for one and not the other?

[lolane]

I think that this is a "wedding" expense and I think it is innapropriate to *ask* people (aka register for) wedding related expenses. Just as I would think it was unacceptable to register for a dj, photographer or florist, I think it in innapropriate to register for a honeymoon. As was stated earlier, if it's not a wedding related expense, it's not a honeymoon, it's just a vacation.

So, IMO, just because someone has all the traditional wedding gift items, it does not make it okay for them to register for *any* wedding related expenses.

[RandomAngel]

My understanding was that the reason it is rude to register for wedding expenses is that it is in effect holding a potluck wedding: you are asking quests to help pay for the event you are "hosting" for them. 

Unless you plan to invite the guests along on your honeymoon, I think an argument can be made for it being separate from the wedding.  It is not in any way for the guests; it is solely for the bride and groom (and, according to the main site, the occasional MIL).  I see no reason not to consider it an appropriate gift, wholly or in parts.

[lolane]

My understanding was that the reason it is rude to register for wedding expenses is that it is in effect holding a potluck wedding: you are asking quests to help pay for the event you are "hosting" for them. 

The guest do not benefit from the bride having her hair and makeup done, they don't benefit from the bridal party riding in a limo, they don't benefit from how pretty the brides dress is or how nice the grooms tux is, and yet IMO it would still be completely innapropriate for the B&G to register for those items.

[RandomAngel]

The guest do not benefit from the bride having her hair and makeup done, they don't benefit from the bridal party riding in a limo, they don't benefit from how pretty the brides dress is or how nice the grooms tux is, and yet IMO it would still be completely innapropriate for the B&G to register for those items.

These things are being done exclusively for the event in question, though.  They are a part of the "show."  The honeymoon is not a part of the event; it is not meant to be seen or make any kind of an impression on the guests. It is a truly private experience. 

If someone registers for a makeup artist so they can look good at the event they've invited me to, I am in effect paying for my own party.  If they register for something entirely for themselves, I am a guest giving a gift.  I believe the honeymoon is substantially different from your examples.