Thoughts on registering for honeymoon???

[Peyton Fan]

I have a question. I just found out an aquaintance who is getting married has included in her places to register - her honeymoon. There are different amounts people can pay and different things people can pay for: Prices range from $25 - $150 per item. Things like: 500 miles of airfare, breakfast for two in bed, swimming with the dolphins, etc. This is something new to me. When I got married (only 8 years ago), this wasn't something I'd ever heard of. What do y'all think of this? Is this the norm today? It strikes me as a bit odd and strange. But maybe that is just me. I'd love to hear others thoughts on this.

TIA!

[ZipTheWonder]

My thoughts are "I don't want to pay for any vacations but my own."   

Even if you are well-established couple with more than enough of your wants and needs already met, you really should not even be hinting at other people paying for your vacation. 

I really don't know when we turned into a bunch of idjets who need so much handholding that we can't even select a decent gift for those who consider us their close associates.

[Shoo]

I'd never contribute to someone's honeymoon registry.  The very thought of it makes my blood pressure go up.

[Suze]

I'd never contribute to someone's honeymoon registry.  The very thought of it makes my blood pressure go up.

Ditto !

If you can't afford to go somewhere -- don't go, simple.

[dawbs]

I'm not a fan.
(I'm afraid this reply may be more long winded than I'd like...but I'm not finding good ways to edit myself tonight)

I am rather turned off by anything that I feel falls into the "registering for money" category.  If a bride and groom prefer cash, I think information can be (carefully!) spread word of mouth (of course, not registering is a big hint...).

I find honeymoon registries (and the "down payment registries" which also exist) to dictate what the gift should be more than I'd like.  If someone  has a 'traditional' registry and I use it to find a gift, I have a wide variety of items from their "wish list" to purchase for them (as well as the option of ignoring the registry and giving cash or a gift card or something else entirely).  If someone only has a honeymoon registry, the implication is "give us cash, we don't want anything else.

And if a couple truly has 'everything' and only needs cash, I'd prefer to be able to give the gift of cash without exorbitant fees taken from it in transit to the couple.

(when Mr. Dawbs and I wed, we preferred cash.  Because we'd both been on our own long enough that there was precious little we "needed".  However, I find more and more I'm grateful for those folks in my family who don't give cash (it's cultural I guess...people in my family do NOT give cash as a gift, ever.  Or gift cards.) and they shook their heads and went and bought me "real" dishes so I wasn't eating off the plastic cartoon-character Disney plates I had leftover from college.)

[NOVA Lady]

This is something I have seen and I have mixed feelings about it.

My first reaction upon hearing of this (when a girlfriend was married 3-4 years ago) was "that's a cute idea!" but then when me and her talked about the details of it, it seemed a little tacky. I am not against buying gifts that are "experiences" (theres even a company that sells just these types of gifts! and they are great fun) there would items on there that seem like cash grabs. A hotel room for 1-8 nights doesn't seem like a good wedding present, its basically cash. Dinner in a fancy restuarant in their destination city? Now that seems more like it, and in fact a lot of people do give restuarant gift certificates to new couples.

That was a pretty long winded way to say why they might be seen as a cute/new/innovative idea but I think the reality of them and the way they work make them appear cash-grabby. If you want to give the HC a meal or a hotel stay, I am sure there is a way to do that.

[VorFemme]

I am more in favor of the more traditional registry - things like dishes, tableware, glasses, pots & pans, sheets, towels, and other things that the new couple will NEED to set up house together and will be using for YEARS...........

If the new couple already have good quality "things" for their home and will not be needing such gifts - then perhaps "comsumeables" might be fun.  But - the honeymoon?  Seems a little odd that they want to swim with dolphins, be served breakfast in bed, and such when the honeymoon is more traditionally shared between the two of them..............and not in public.  But I am a bit old fashioned.............

Never mind that DeDaughter and DeFiance are living together - I want to imagine them having a traditional honeymoon trip - even if they are waiting until between quarters at school to take it (some six weeks AFTER the wedding).  I know that they are probably not "waiting" until marriage - but I don't really think that swimming with dolphins is the way to bond with your new spouse..............unless one of you is a marine biologist............

[Slartibartfast]

DH and I didn't do this, but our wedding present from our parents was $1000 from each side toward a honeymoon in Hawaii - that amount made the difference between us being able to do a WONDERFUL vacation we will remember forever, and a few days' drive in the mountains close to home (which we could do anytime).  I really did appreciate that $2000, because if they had just given us cash I would have felt obligated to put it toward something useful (saving for our someday-house, for example).

So the general idea of people giving toward a honeymoon doesn't bother me.  I don't like the idea of treating it like a regular registry, though - the point of the registry is to allow people to give you gifts that both a) match to build a set of something (like dishes), and b) to avoid duplicates of things.  There's nothing matching or duplicating about a honeymoon, so there's no reason "buying" something off a honeymoon registry would be any better than cash.  The couple still knows how much you spent, you're locking them in to one particular thing, and probably most importantly, wouldn't you want the honeymoon to be all planned and organized WELL BEFORE the wedding?

[blue_bunny_paz]

I find the idea rather odd. Traditional registeries can be useful to avoid getting fifteen toasters or whatever but buying something intangible like a certain number of airmiles seems odd. That and I'd like to be able to see the present at least. That and you'd hope a wedding present would be appreciated for quite some time, rather than just in memories. It also suggests to me that normal presents are beneath them.

Basically I feel quite uncomfortable about the idea but if that's what a couple has chosen I suppose it's up to them. Perhaps it's a cultural thing I don't get.

[Lisbeth]

You may want to move this thread to one of the wedding folders.

I think registering for honeymoons is tacky.  This is one thing the couple need to pay for themselves-not solicit from others.

[Sirius]

Why do people feel that they're entitled to an exotic vacation for their honeymoon? No one paid for our honeymoon 8.5 years ago, and we still had a marvelous time.  We were living in California, and we went to the Oregon coast for our honeymoon.  One of the best things was that we'd both gotten enough time off from our jobs that we didn't have to rush, so we took our time. 

[lolane]

I think it's tacky personally, but I can understand how a couple who did not know it was considered iffy would think it was a great idea. In interviewing travel agents for our HM, the HM registry was pushed heavily by the agents, I was told "most of their couples do it." And, "it's a great way to get the HM you could not afford on your own."

[sweedetobee]

When Mr. Sweede and I got married we did not do a honeymoon registry.

But if one of my friends or family members had a honeymoon registry I just might purchase off it!

I have many friends who don't really "need" gifts off a traditional registry (I'm 30 so most of my unmarried friends have all the furnishings, appliances, etc. already). If I didn't feel like giving cash and I knew the couple didn't need or want anything like china, bedding, pots/pans, etc. I'd love to give them a fancy dinner or a couples massage on their honeymoon. The memories may last longer than most gifts off a registry will!  I don't think I could buy part of their airfare or hotel stay, but dinner, swimming with dolphins, etc. I'd do. 

And to the poster that said that people spend time bonding with their spouses and not doing activities on their honeymoons, I'd bet that if we took a poll most people did "something" other than eat, sleep and make lurv on their honeymoon! And swimming with dolphins, a hot air balloon ride, a hike in a rainforest, a romantic dinner, a couples massage happen to ALL be activities that make you bond with your signficant other - you try something new together, see each other reactions and have memories that last a lifetime.

You don't just bond in bed you know

[HogwartsAlum]

Why do people feel that they're entitled to an exotic vacation for their honeymoon? No one paid for our honeymoon 8.5 years ago, and we still had a marvelous time.  We were living in California, and we went to the Oregon coast for our honeymoon.  One of the best things was that we'd both gotten enough time off from our jobs that we didn't have to rush, so we took our time. 

Hear hear! If my Unknown Future Husband and I couldn't afford to go to Hawaii or something for our honeymoon, I would be perfectly happy looking for a destination nearby where we could find plenty to see and do.  This is a big country; there are lots of romantic spots that are off the beaten path, and some place not tourist-tacky or filled with tons of people might actually be more memorable!

[heathert]

then perhaps "comsumeables" might be fun.

What is a consumeable?  Thanks!

Heather