Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Not cooking when having houseguests. Rude?

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Hi.  We're being hit hard with out of town family coming to our house every weekend for the next few weekends.  For the next 3, we'll have different family members staying with us.

I love it when they come, but to be honest, it's also a strain. No privacy, having to feel like you have to entertain them 24/7, etc.

With DH and I working, preparing the house before guests come and cleaning up after they leave is a chore in itself.  Cooking meals for everbody is not appealing to me at all.  The weekends that company is coming are not major holidays, where large meals would be expected (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc)   

My question is whether or not it's rude if I don't cook actual meals for our guests while they're here.  We'd order out, and pay for it.  It's just easier. 

For breakfast I would have muffins, fresh fruit, cereal, oatmeal and bagels available, and for lunch I would prepare simple things like hot dogs and mac and cheese, BLT sandwiches and fries, or frozen pizzas and things like that.  Easy stuff. 

Plenty of snacks would also be on hand in case anybody got hungry in between meals, and we're close enough with all the company coming that they know they can just go help themselves to whatever's in the fridge if they've got a taste for something in particular.

BIL and SIL just left our house, and commented on my not cooking this weekend.  When family would come when I was not working, I used to go all out and cook like crazy. 

With me working now it's just too much. 

Am I rude???

Oh, no, it's not rude at all!  And if they're on vacation, they might really think to thank you for your gracious hospitality by taking YOU out for a meal.  You're entertaining and feeding them, you are being a good hostess!

Definitely not rude.  So long as everyone's fed it shouldn't matter whether the food is home cooked or take away.

BIL and SIL were rude for commenting on your lack of cooking this weekend.  If they wanted home cooked meals all weekend they should have stayed home and cooked for themselves.

BTW, with the menus you've mentioned - can I come and stay? ;)

Don't feel guilty about not cooking
I use to think anytime anyone came to visit us I had to cook huge meals 3 times a day which meant I spent their visit in the kitchen
When I went to work I still tried to cook a nice supper by planning ahead before I left for work
However one day I woke up and said when I go visit they don't go nuts cooking except for my brother in law who always makes me cabbage rolls but when they come I have to make tortilla soup my is based on cheese and no veggies
So now i get sandwich stuff or we got out to eat usually dutch (only family comes to see me)
No one has yet to complain and sure has taken the stress off of me
Your menus sound great!! Go for it!!!


--- Quote ---Don't feel guilty about not cooking
I use to think anytime anyone came to visit us I had to cook huge meals 3 times a day which meant I spent their visit in the kitchen

--- End quote ---
That's just it.  I don't want to spend the whole time in the kitchen while they're here like I used to, and then use all my remaining free weekend time cleaning up after they leave.

It's easier ordering out or having simple meals planned for breakfast/lunch.

I guess if they don't like it they can always just stay home.


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