Author Topic: When you smash up my car, please let me know...  (Read 6779 times)

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White Dragon

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When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« on: October 24, 2011, 02:28:10 PM »
My coworker needs some help with a situation and asked me to bring it to EHell for advice.

Last weekend, she lent some friends her truck.
When the friends were backing the car out of her driveway, they struck the car owned by CW's son. The damage was fairly substantial to both vehicles (approx $2600 to the car and $1500 + labour for the truck.)

The friends proceeded with their errand and returned the truck to the garage. When they dropped off the truck, all they said was "The truck's in the garage, we left the keys in it."
There was no mention of the accident.

Later that day, when CW Son was visiting at the Borrowers, they said "Hey, we hit your car with your mom's truck." They did not apologize.
They did not contact CW.

CWDH saw the Borrowers the next day and said "Hey, we were really disappointed and hurt that you didn't tell us about the accident when it happened."

The Borrowers simply said "Oh, well, we've contacted the insurance and we'll have to coordinate and get everything settled."

CW is very, very upset. The Borrowers have been dear friends of hers for a long time and she does not want to lose their friendship. She is very, very hurt that they did not tell her about the accident nor apologize for it.
CW knows that "accidents happen" and while she's not thrilled (the truck may be written off, due to it's age), she is willing to work around that part. It's the lack of response that has her hurt.

She wants to express her feelings to the Borrowers, but she wants to try and salvage the friendship. Frankly, she's at a loss of what to say.
She's asked for help from EHellions in framing a phone call or email to help convey her feelings.

Yvaine

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2011, 02:38:42 PM »
I would also be at a loss.

Might I just say though that the subject line gave me a chuckle?

LeveeWoman

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2011, 02:38:58 PM »
I don't know what she should tell her "friends" but I think she should contact her insurance company pronto.

WillyNilly

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2011, 02:39:54 PM »
Let me start off by saying I think your CW has every right to be hurt and annoyed.

But, that in mind, I'll go on to say perhaps the Borrowers were freaked out and wanted to get some information on how they could make things right before they approached her.  Clearly they were not keeping the accident a secret - they told the son promptly.  And they said they've contacted insurance already so they are clearly not ignoring the problem.

Its frustrating and not the right way to do things, but its also not unusual for people to to not act rationally in the heat of a stressful moment.

VorFemme

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2011, 02:40:15 PM »
Former insurance adjuster here - I see several possibilities.

#1 - The Borrowers feel that they have done their duty by reporting it to the insurance company (and I hope that their insurance covers the repairs - depends on what state you're in, though, and I no longer have my "cheat sheets" for quick reference to check in which states the insurance follows the vehicle and which states it follows the driver).  So, since the insurance company would handle it - the owner could wait to hear from the insurance company about where to take it...........

#2 - The Borrowers are getting older and "absent minded" and the lack of contact with the Owners is the first (visible) step in their mental decline...............I still remember talking to one older lady who had mangled three accidents into one mishap and was wondering why the vehicle wasn't ready yet as "the accident" had happened "months ago".  The FIRST accident in a string of them had happened months ago - the most recent had been less than seven days previously.  And we weren't allowed to contact relatives to suggest that an Older Driver might need to have their eye sight, reflexes, or mental capacity tested before they got the keys back to their repaired vehicle..................

#3 - The Borrowers just didn't realize how much damage was done.  Some people can't tell the difference between a "rubbed off bit of paint" that will buff off and a scrape that took clear coat, paint, and undercoating off down to the metal...........or worse.  They might be quite shocked to find out what is going to happen when they get their next bill from the insurance company (because that amount of damage is *probably* going to trigger the actuaries to look over their policy and crunch the numbers to see if they are paying enough for their coverage).

#4 - They are idjits who just don't care as much about OTHER people's stuff as you might have thought...........
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White Dragon

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2011, 02:47:13 PM »
Former insurance adjuster here - I see several possibilities.

#1 - The Borrowers feel that they have done their duty by reporting it to the insurance company (and I hope that their insurance covers the repairs - depends on what state you're in, though, and I no longer have my "cheat sheets" for quick reference to check in which states the insurance follows the vehicle and which states it follows the driver).  So, since the insurance company would handle it - the owner could wait to hear from the insurance company about where to take it...........

Borrowers live in one province, Coworker in another. In both cases the insurance follows the vehicle.
The accident will trigger an automatic increase in Coworkers rates.

Quote
#2 - The Borrowers are getting older and "absent minded" and the lack of contact with the Owners is the first (visible) step in their mental decline...............I still remember talking to one older lady who had mangled three accidents into one mishap and was wondering why the vehicle wasn't ready yet as "the accident" had happened "months ago".  The FIRST accident in a string of them had happened months ago - the most recent had been less than seven days previously.  And we weren't allowed to contact relatives to suggest that an Older Driver might need to have their eye sight, reflexes, or mental capacity tested before they got the keys back to their repaired vehicle..................

Unfortunately, this doesn't apply. Actually, CWSon is in a long term rel@tionship with the Borrower's daughter. Just to make things more socially complicated... :P

Quote
#3 - The Borrowers just didn't realize how much damage was done.  Some people can't tell the difference between a "rubbed off bit of paint" that will buff off and a scrape that took clear coat, paint, and undercoating off down to the metal...........or worse.  They might be quite shocked to find out what is going to happen when they get their next bill from the insurance company (because that amount of damage is *probably* going to trigger the actuaries to look over their policy and crunch the numbers to see if they are paying enough for their coverage).

We know that this is at least part of the situation, as the Borrowers were under the impression that the damage was only to CWSon car. They didn't realize that there was damage to the truck.

Quote
#4 - They are idjits who just don't care as much about OTHER people's stuff as you might have thought...........

CW is leaning strongly towards this possibility.

WillyNilly

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2011, 02:51:13 PM »
Former insurance adjuster here - I see several possibilities.

#1 - The Borrowers feel that they have done their duty by reporting it to the insurance company (and I hope that their insurance covers the repairs - depends on what state you're in, though, and I no longer have my "cheat sheets" for quick reference to check in which states the insurance follows the vehicle and which states it follows the driver).  So, since the insurance company would handle it - the owner could wait to hear from the insurance company about where to take it...........

Borrowers live in one province, Coworker in another. In both cases the insurance follows the vehicle.
The accident will trigger an automatic increase in Coworkers rates.


Are you sure they didn't contact perhaps their homeowners insurance?  That might cover them if they are borrowing a vehicle.

If they did in fact contact CW's insurance, she should call her insurance company now and say she did not authorize the claim, she did not submit the claim, please delete any reference to the claim.  Its bad enough they smashed up the cars but to raise her insurance rates for years is so unacceptable I'm seething mad on her behalf now!  I totally take back my understanding of them now!

VorFemme

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2011, 02:54:21 PM »
Okay - no experience in CANADIAN insurance - but the CoWorker should indeed make sure that they filed for damages to her vehicle under their insurance and not hers............because I'd bet my ereader that bills totalling that much will raise SOMEONE'S car insurance rates.  And she doesn't want it to be HER car insurance, I am sure.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

White Dragon

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #8 on: October 24, 2011, 02:56:10 PM »
Former insurance adjuster here - I see several possibilities.

#1 - The Borrowers feel that they have done their duty by reporting it to the insurance company (and I hope that their insurance covers the repairs - depends on what state you're in, though, and I no longer have my "cheat sheets" for quick reference to check in which states the insurance follows the vehicle and which states it follows the driver).  So, since the insurance company would handle it - the owner could wait to hear from the insurance company about where to take it...........

Borrowers live in one province, Coworker in another. In both cases the insurance follows the vehicle.
The accident will trigger an automatic increase in Coworkers rates.


Are you sure they didn't contact perhaps their homeowners insurance?  That might cover them if they are borrowing a vehicle.

If they did in fact contact CW's insurance, she should call her insurance company now and say she did not authorize the claim, she did not submit the claim, please delete any reference to the claim.  Its bad enough they smashed up the cars but to raise her insurance rates for years is so unacceptable I'm seething mad on her behalf now!  I totally take back my understanding of them now!

The Borrowers contacted their own auto insurance company.
CW contacted her company.

But, the accident follows the car, not the driver. So her rates will go up.  :'(
I don't know if there is any way for CW to not pay aside from the Borrowers paying directly for the repairs and nothing going through insurance.

FlyingBaconMouse

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2011, 02:59:14 PM »
I'm not sure some variant on the thread title isn't the best way to go: the OP could point out gently that X time and Y money will need to be spent, and she'd like as much notice as possible.

(I first read the thread title as "Will you smash up my car...." I have officially OD'd on Mythbusters:P)
I don't kill threads, but I do seem to stun 'em pretty good. :-)

high dudgeon

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2011, 03:01:04 PM »
This is why I don't let anyone borrow my car who is not a member of my household. And I'm not comfortable driving other people's cars either (unless I'm renting a car from an agency.)

She can't make the Borrowers apologize. They apparently don't think enough of her to see their damage of her property to be worth apologizing for, or they don't think it's worth the discomfort of apologizing. Maybe the friendship isn't what she thought it was? In her shoes, I'd start to distance myself from them, and if they notice and ask why, I'd tell them.

rashea

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2011, 03:43:09 PM »
Umm, no. If someone borrowed my car, and as a result my rates went up, I'd be insisting they compensate me, or pay for repairs out of pocket rather than going through insurance. This is a good reminder not to lend out my car though.

I think I'd be walking over and letting them know that as a result of their actions, I'm out $x. On top of that, I would tell them that I was really upset to not hear this from them directly.

But, because they seem to have no remorse, I'd probably settle on backing away from them quickly.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2011, 03:51:49 PM »
If I had been the Borrower, I would have been mortified.  I would have run back into the house to confess immediately.

The fact that they didn't even let you know well after the fact would cause me to become coolly polite with them, and never let them borrow something I wouldn't mind having destroyed. 
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

jimithing

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2011, 03:53:47 PM »
For me, it sounds like it's less about the monetary cost, and more about the emotional cost, complete thoughtlessness of the Borrowers. I would be very hurt and disappointed that not only did they just pretend it didn't happen initially, but then to not even apologize? I think CW needs to express that disappointment if they want to continue a relationship.

LEMon

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Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #14 on: October 24, 2011, 08:21:33 PM »
The fact that CW's son and Borrower's daughter are in a relationship does complicate matters.  CW may have to come to accept that this is an area they are deficient in, and find a way to no longer be in such a situation.  It is hard to accept that folks that should have an emotional response don't have it ("I did an oops and need to say 'sorry'" is an emotional response in my book).  CW may need to figure out where she wants to draw lines in the future.