### Author Topic: When you smash up my car, please let me know...  (Read 6880 times)

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#### onikenbai

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2011, 10:47:13 PM »
Ah, the ins and outs of Canadian insurance... so much fun.  I particularly like how my coverage got cut by 50% this year and my rates still went up because the government's scheme to lower insurance rates failed  .  Americans, don't even try interpreting Canadian insurance because it just doesn't work the same way as it does in the US.  Even Canadians don't understand it well because it goes against much of common sense.  Many of the provinces have 'no fault' insurance where no matter who was responsible for what and why, your personal insurance policy covers you and your damages and not the other party.  It was originally intended to stem the wave of fraudulent lawsuits, and it kind of worked, but it confused half the country in the process.  And yes, it is attached to the car itself, not the person driving it which is why we have to be particularly picky about who we let drive our cars.  This doesn't mean that they don't take notice of whose fault the accident originally was, it just impacts how it gets paid out.

Depending on CW's policy and her driving record she *might* get a freebie 'at fault' without her rates going up, especially with this being such a minor bump; however that is something CW would have to discuss with her broker.  Unfortunately once you tell the broker, you can't un-tell the broker as he's got a duty to report as well.

Nice of the friends to admit to a failure to remain at the scene of an accident which, last time I checked, was illegal in all provinces.  They also made it doubly hard for CW's son to get his insurance to cover his losses and a right pain in the butt overall as the accident is undocumented.  Overall I'd be pissed as it's the equivalent of spilling red wine on the couch and flipping the cushion over to hide it, allowing it to drip all over the carpet.

All of this makes my head spin and reminds me why I turned down taking over the insurance business which had been in the family for generations.  I'm much better off with professional basket weaving.

#### sammycat

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2011, 10:58:36 PM »
If I had been the Borrower, I would have been mortified.  I would have run back into the house to confess immediately.

The fact that they didn't even let you know well after the fact would cause me to become coolly polite with them, and never let them borrow something I wouldn't mind having destroyed.

I agree with all of this.

I am completely flummoxed that the Borrowers' first reaction wasn't to get out of the vehicle and immediately go and tell the Owners' about the damage.    It just seems like common courtesy and common sense.

#### sammycat

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2011, 11:00:32 PM »
For me, it sounds like it's less about the monetary cost, and more about the emotional cost, complete thoughtlessness of the Borrowers. I would be very hurt and disappointed that not only did they just pretend it didn't happen initially, but then to not even apologize? I think CW needs to express that disappointment if they want to continue a relationship.

I agree totally.  I could probably deal with someone accidentally destroying my property so long as they were up front about it immediately and apologetic.

#### White Dragon

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2011, 03:06:14 PM »
Coworker is still pretty upset with her friend.
Borrower is arranging to pay the deductible, and the Borrower driver also got points against his license.

Coworker knows that she can't demand an apology. However, she would still like to convey her feelings of disappointment to her friend, but she's really at a loss of what to say.

Any suggestions for wording, either by phone, face or email?

#### rashea

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #19 on: October 26, 2011, 03:11:36 PM »

"Borrower, thank you for paying for this. I have to say that I was really surprised that you didn't just come to me when it happened. I hope in the future you let me know if you damage something. It's shaken my confidence in you a bit."

It's not quite right, but I can't seem to get closer.
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#### AtraBecca

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #20 on: October 26, 2011, 09:33:59 PM »
I'm Canadian... the Borrowers should pay for everything and nothing should go through insurance. Also, they are imbeciles and should never be trusted with so much as a guppy.

#### wyliefool

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2011, 10:17:45 AM »
Coworker is still pretty upset with her friend.
Borrower is arranging to pay the deductible, and the Borrower driver also got points against his license.

Coworker knows that she can't demand an apology. However, she would still like to convey her feelings of disappointment to her friend, but she's really at a loss of what to say.

Any suggestions for wording, either by phone, face or email?

So, to recap:
1. The Smashers smashed up 2 of the CW's vehicles.
2. They didn't bother to stop and tell anyone; in fact they went right on w/ their day, driving the now-damaged truck.
3. They only told the CW's son when he came over to see their DD, in an offhanded 'oh btw we smashed your car' sort of way.
4. They've uttered no apologies.
5. They're paying the deductible. No mention of covering the increase in rates for the next 3-5 years (# based on my experience in US)

Wow.

Obviously, since they have no clue how to drive a truck, they never get to borrow one again. Nor a car, since they have no qualms about causing an accident and keeping it quiet. I think if I were CW I'd be mourning the friendship even as I go ballistic over this behavior.

Maybe the solution is for her son to talk to the Smashers--since they damaged his car too, and he's the one they told, and they're his almost-inlaws--and say that it's not cool what they did, it's not cool that they kept it quiet, and it's not cool that they're not paying all the damages. And that his mom is really hurt and wondering if they're really her friends. Maybe that'll snap them out of their bubble of selfishness.

#### mkkristen

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #22 on: October 27, 2011, 11:54:29 AM »
Coworker is still pretty upset with her friend.
Borrower is arranging to pay the deductible, and the Borrower driver also got points against his license.

Coworker knows that she can't demand an apology. However, she would still like to convey her feelings of disappointment to her friend, but she's really at a loss of what to say.

Any suggestions for wording, either by phone, face or email?

So, to recap:
1. The Smashers smashed up 2 of the CW's vehicles.
2. They didn't bother to stop and tell anyone; in fact they went right on w/ their day, driving the now-damaged truck.
3. They only told the CW's son when he came over to see their DD, in an offhanded 'oh btw we smashed your car' sort of way.
4. They've uttered no apologies.
5. They're paying the deductible. No mention of covering the increase in rates for the next 3-5 years (# based on my experience in US)

Wow.

Obviously, since they have no clue how to drive a truck, they never get to borrow one again. Nor a car, since they have no qualms about causing an accident and keeping it quiet. I think if I were CW I'd be mourning the friendship even as I go ballistic over this behavior.

Maybe the solution is for her son to talk to the Smashers--since they damaged his car too, and he's the one they told, and they're his almost-inlaws--and say that it's not cool what they did, it's not cool that they kept it quiet, and it's not cool that they're not paying all the damages. And that his mom is really hurt and wondering if they're really her friends. Maybe that'll snap them out of their bubble of selfishness.

I totally agree with this that the son should say something. Honestly if I was the son, I'd be questioning my involvement with the whole family. If the parents or their daughter got upset that I stood up for myself and my parents, then I'd say see ya later because honestly, anyone who can behave that poorly is not someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. If she didn't stand up to her parents with me, then that would be a big wake up call.

#### Morticia

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2011, 01:25:05 PM »
I'm Canadian... the Borrowers should pay for everything and nothing should go through insurance. Also, they are imbeciles and should never be trusted with so much as a guppy.

POD. These people leave me speechless.
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#### wolfie

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #24 on: February 26, 2013, 10:59:17 PM »
This is interesting. I accidentally hit add to wish list on amazon - apparently this thread is worth $2600. Wonder how they calculated that #### White Dragon • Formerly St Monica • Hero Member • Posts: 2586 ##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know... « Reply #25 on: February 26, 2013, 11:32:57 PM » Not sure, but if we got paid for posting on Ehell, I'd quit my day job!! #### misha412 • Member • Posts: 453 ##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know... « Reply #26 on: February 27, 2013, 01:15:48 AM » My coworker needs some help with a situation and asked me to bring it to EHell for advice. Last weekend, she lent some friends her truck. When the friends were backing the car out of her driveway, they struck the car owned by CW's son. The damage was fairly substantial to both vehicles (approx$2600 to the car and $1500 + labour for the truck.) The friends proceeded with their errand and returned the truck to the garage. When they dropped off the truck, all they said was "The truck's in the garage, we left the keys in it." There was no mention of the accident. Later that day, when CW Son was visiting at the Borrowers, they said "Hey, we hit your car with your mom's truck." They did not apologize. They did not contact CW. CWDH saw the Borrowers the next day and said "Hey, we were really disappointed and hurt that you didn't tell us about the accident when it happened." The Borrowers simply said "Oh, well, we've contacted the insurance and we'll have to coordinate and get everything settled." CW is very, very upset. The Borrowers have been dear friends of hers for a long time and she does not want to lose their friendship. She is very, very hurt that they did not tell her about the accident nor apologize for it. CW knows that "accidents happen" and while she's not thrilled (the truck may be written off, due to it's age), she is willing to work around that part. It's the lack of response that has her hurt. She wants to express her feelings to the Borrowers, but she wants to try and salvage the friendship. Frankly, she's at a loss of what to say. She's asked for help from EHellions in framing a phone call or email to help convey her feelings. I understand CW not wanting to lose an old friendship. But, the Borrowers were extremely rude in this scenario. How was CW supposed to know about the accident? Wait until the insurance company called? Wait until she or her DH went out to drive it and find the damage? Wait until her son found out from a casual comment (which is what happened)? That strikes me as not caring about the relationship. They did not care enough to talk about the problem with CW or her DH, the owners of the vehicle. It was their property. The Borrowers were in an accident with that property. The damage was not a "minor fender bender." It is going to take time and money to fix. The CW and her DH are likely to end up paying higher premiums because of it. None of this seemed to phase this couple...they went about their business, returned the vehicle, and stayed silent about it until the casual mention to the son. And it appears the Borrowers feel as if they should not apologize for the issue. In my case, once all was said and done, I would let this friendship cool down. It does not have to fade away completely. But, when someone breaks my trust like that, I could not maintain the same level of friendship. #### jedikaiti • Swiss Army Nerd • Hero Member • Posts: 2855 • A pie in the hand is worth two in the mail. ##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know... « Reply #27 on: February 27, 2013, 01:37:42 AM » Umm, no. If someone borrowed my car, and as a result my rates went up, I'd be insisting they compensate me, or pay for repairs out of pocket rather than going through insurance. This is a good reminder not to lend out my car though. I think I'd be walking over and letting them know that as a result of their actions, I'm out$x. On top of that, I would tell them that I was really upset to not hear this from them directly.

But, because they seem to have no remorse, I'd probably settle on backing away from them quickly.

Either they pay out of pocket for the damages, or they pay deductible and the insurance increase until the claim falls off their record!
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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2013, 01:47:05 AM »
This thread should come with a zombie preparedness kit.

#### squeakers

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##### Re: When you smash up my car, please let me know...
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2013, 02:17:24 AM »
This thread should come with a zombie preparedness kit.

Hehehehe.  I think even zombies are deteriorated after 2 years
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