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  • December 03, 2016, 07:51:14 AM

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Author Topic: I said your family... (long) minor update #10  (Read 3950 times)

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Luci

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2016, 11:00:42 AM »
I had to print and send invitations addressed to exactly who was invited. "Jim and guest," "Mr. and Mrs. M Smith, Mikey and Joey." After a couple of noes to extra guests, they learned. This year I was able to do an event on Facebook and had no problems. I think maybe the earlier formality made the point clear, too.

And a good time was had by all. 😄

Kaypeep

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2016, 11:07:24 AM »
Wow.  What gall.  I don't know if my spine is shiny enough to have turned them away but I would be sure to say "Tonya?  What did you do?  I told you the invite was immediate family only and no extra guests.  Why did you do this?  I don't have the space or money to host so many people!  Badly done, Tonya!" I would never invite her to anything again.

LazyDaisy

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #17 on: December 01, 2016, 01:20:19 PM »
I want to know where seven extra people sat and what plates, cups and silverware was available to them. Evil me hopes they had to share a fork.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." Douglas Adams

Kaypeep

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #18 on: December 01, 2016, 02:04:26 PM »
I was wondering the same thing!  But with so many people I'm guessing they have a buffet setup and use paper/plastic tableware so it would be hard to say they don't have enough settings.  But if it were sit down meal I'd love to put the guests at the table and make the family who brought them uninvited sit somewhere else perched with plates on their lap, or no plate at all.  I know I only have service for 12 so if someone brought extra guests there would be nothing for them to eat with.

siamesecat2965

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2016, 02:51:23 PM »
Wow, that's really nervy! I also hope there wasn't enough silverware etc. to go around.

I know a friend of mine ran out of knives, but her reason was totally legitimate; a friend of hers was arranging for a number of refugee families i believe that were being helped by her church, to experience a real American Thanksgiving, and found homes for each of however many families to go to. My friend, who is very generous and caring, had an additional 5-6 people she hadn't initially counted on, but according to her, a wonderful time was had by all.

MindsEye

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Re: I said your family... (long)
« Reply #20 on: December 01, 2016, 06:21:32 PM »
On Monday prior to Thanksgiving, Sam called Tonya and said that when he invited everyone for turkey day it was meant to be families only, as in Tonya & spouse, their children & grandchildren.  This has gotten totally out of hand and we are unable to accommodate all the extras.

Dead silence from Tonya.  So Sam jumped in with, "so you do understand why you need to cut back your number of attendees?"  And she said, I'll see what I can do.  The number didn't change and Becky said all of them showed up.  One of the other aunts may have offered up a public opinion also but I still haven't heard all of it.   

Ouch... I was afraid that exactly this would happen...  :-\

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #21 on: Yesterday at 12:29:37 PM »
Wow.  What gall.  I don't know if my spine is shiny enough to have turned them away but I would be sure to say "Tonya?  What did you do?  I told you the invite was immediate family only and no extra guests.  Why did you do this?  I don't have the space or money to host so many people!  Badly done, Tonya!" I would never invite her to anything again.

Perhaps, take Tonya's portion of the dinner and split it up among ALL of her guests.  I've always dreamed of something like that. 

FauxFoodist

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Re: I said your family... (long) minor update #10
« Reply #22 on: Yesterday at 01:31:22 PM »
I have an entitled aunt like this (expects everyone to cater to her whims).  Aunt's twelve brothers and sisters endured her behavior for years...until Grandma died a few years ago (my heritage is such that respect is a big deal so if Grandma, their mother, wished to include Aunt, then it had to be done).  We had one more incident of horrible behavior from her and her precious oldest son one Easter that resulted in the entire family being so upset by what took place there were no family parties the rest of the year.  When the family parties started up again, Aunt and her entire branch of her family were excluded and continue to be excluded to this day (it's been 4-5 years now).  I think the only family member who still speaks to Aunt is my mother (one of her sisters), and Mom will only deal with her on a limited basis and only when it suits Mom (Aunt even tried to go through me to force Mom to call her, which resulted in me blocking Aunt from being able to contact me again as I found Aunt's repeated requests rather intrusive).  Aunt is in her 60s, and Cousin is in his 40s.  They are never going to change; we all (the family) could only change how we react to their behavior.  I think Sam should never invite Tonya to another family event he hosts as she clearly can't be trusted.  There might be pressure from other parts of the family, but he'll need to stand his ground until they back off or learn to do the same.  I know without Aunt and Cousin around, the rest of the family no longer needs to worry about drama because the *only* drama came from Aunt and Cousin (I have two other cousins, her kids and Cousin's brothers, who are normal but if they get invited, then that'll bring along Aunt and Cousin so all are excluded).