News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • February 06, 2016, 09:52:11 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: The weird no gift exchange.  (Read 5141 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

VorFemme

  • Member
  • Posts: 14957
  • I am not sweating, I'm glowing!
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2016, 06:44:08 PM »
Lol.  I have been so busy packing, I am hardly on.  But just so you all know, she sent me a text tonight to ask if I could get another wallet.  I responded by saying "Is there something wrong with it?"  She responded by saying, "No, I love it but so and so wants one."  I am NOT responding.

Tell her to check eBay or the XYZ store where you bought the others.  Then set a filter to send her future emails to a folder that you can check as often as you feel like doing so...say about once every three months....?  Possibly every six months...?
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

cross_patch

  • Member
  • Posts: 344
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2016, 12:08:41 AM »
Lol.  I have been so busy packing, I am hardly on.  But just so you all know, she sent me a text tonight to ask if I could get another wallet.  I responded by saying "Is there something wrong with it?"  She responded by saying, "No, I love it but so and so wants one."  I am NOT responding.

Why not? You already said you weren't angry, and you gave her one already. she clearly likes it, why not just tell her where you got it?

Lindee

  • Member
  • Posts: 425
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2016, 02:04:55 AM »
But she didn't ask where it was bought, she wanted it bought for her and in the circumstances it is a bit of a cheek.  She has already made it clear she had bailed for a better offer, accepted a pricy gift, then got MOM21SON to sell her a gift to give to someone who rated a gift (unlike her) and now wants her to procure another one  for her for someone else.  Does she think she is her personal PA, fit for dog sitting, gift buying and socialising unless a better offer comes along?

If you are feeling polite tell her where you got it and then let her real friends do her favours for her in future.

Runningstar

  • Member
  • Posts: 572
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2016, 05:07:31 AM »
I'd tell her, give her the exact info, leaving nothing out.  She either is really into that wallet, or is worried that you overcharged her for the one she bought off of you.

shhh its me

  • Member
  • Posts: 7762
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2016, 08:38:45 AM »
But she didn't ask where it was bought, she wanted it bought for her and in the circumstances it is a bit of a cheek.  She has already made it clear she had bailed for a better offer, accepted a pricy gift, then got MOM21SON to sell her a gift to give to someone who rated a gift (unlike her) and now wants her to procure another one  for her for someone else.  Does she think she is her personal PA, fit for dog sitting, gift buying and socialising unless a better offer comes along?

If you are feeling polite tell her where you got it and then let her real friends do her favours for her in future.

The cancelling for a better offer is the only think I think was OK , she didn't accepted a better offer she forgot she already had plans. Assuming that was true the only thing she could do was apologize and cancel on OP.

Otherwise I agree , while I don't think someone randomly giving you a gift obligates you to gift them in return it just seems like neighbor is twisting the knife that other friend is a "Good friend " and OP is a I don't know what.

EMuir

  • Member
  • Posts: 1513
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2016, 10:50:46 AM »
If I knew she wasn't coming for Xmas, I'd not give her a gift. If she was coming, I'd keep a gift for her ready but if she didn't bring one, I wouldn't give her one because it might make her feel bad.

To not give you a gift, then buy a gift off you for someone else? Faux pas. To ask you to go shopping for her??? Argh.

Two Ravens

  • Member
  • Posts: 2486
  • One for sorrow, Two for mirth...
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2016, 03:00:38 PM »
Lol.  I have been so busy packing, I am hardly on.  But just so you all know, she sent me a text tonight to ask if I could get another wallet.  I responded by saying "Is there something wrong with it?"  She responded by saying, "No, I love it but so and so wants one."  I am NOT responding.

Why not? You already said you weren't angry, and you gave her one already. she clearly likes it, why not just tell her where you got it?

At this point, I would respond with something like, "LOL, I'm too busy to be your personal concierge, but you can get them at Macy's " or wherever. Might give her a hint she's crossing a line.

But she might be hint-proof.

cross_patch

  • Member
  • Posts: 344
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2016, 07:39:07 PM »
But she didn't ask where it was bought, she wanted it bought for her and in the circumstances it is a bit of a cheek.  She has already made it clear she had bailed for a better offer, accepted a pricy gift, then got MOM21SON to sell her a gift to give to someone who rated a gift (unlike her) and now wants her to procure another one  for her for someone else.  Does she think she is her personal PA, fit for dog sitting, gift buying and socialising unless a better offer comes along?

If you are feeling polite tell her where you got it and then let her real friends do her favours for her in future.

Ah yeah I misread that. I thought she just wanted to know where she got it. I still think not responding is a bit PA, so I still think just tell her where you got it. Two Ravens suggestion is good.

JenJay

  • I'm a nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity.
  • Member
  • Posts: 7524
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #23 on: January 16, 2016, 08:12:28 PM »
I'd respond "I'm so busy with the move that I don't have time to run extra errands but I got the wallets at (place) if you want to pick one up."

Chickadee

  • Member
  • Posts: 320
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #24 on: January 17, 2016, 11:17:28 AM »
You could pretend to misunderstand her text and reply as if she is asking where you bought the wallet. Tell her which store (or web address), and if she says she wants you to pick it up for her, then simply tell her you are too busy with packing.

Im curious, though. Why on earth does she think its ok to ask you to run errands for her? Shes obviously not a shut in.

Lula

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #25 on: January 17, 2016, 01:57:41 PM »
You could pretend to misunderstand her text and reply as if she is asking where you bought the wallet. Tell her which store (or web address), and if she says she wants you to pick it up for her, then simply tell her you are too busy with packing it won't be possible.

Fixed it for you. ;)

LifeOnPluto

  • Member
  • Posts: 7597
    • Blog
Re: The weird no gift exchange.
« Reply #26 on: January 17, 2016, 08:44:02 PM »
You could pretend to misunderstand her text and reply as if she is asking where you bought the wallet. Tell her which store (or web address), and if she says she wants you to pick it up for her, then simply tell her you are too busy with packing it won't be possible.

Fixed it for you. ;)

I agree with this wording. Her behaviour is definitely socially tone-deaf (love that expression!) to say the least! Leaving aside the issue of wanting the OP to run her errands, it's pretty insensitive to accept a nice gift from Friend A without reciprocating, then rave on about how you're gifting Friends B and C.