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  • August 04, 2015, 07:07:45 PM

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Author Topic: Not up for changing Mother's Day  (Read 2236 times)

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learningtofly

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Not up for changing Mother's Day
« on: May 03, 2015, 04:46:42 PM »
Hello  :)

We're coming up on Mother's Day and so planning has begun. DH's family used to have dinner, but BIL screwed that up a few years ago and we've been on our own since. We do our own thing, see MIL if she wants, and mailed cards to my mom.

My parents moved here this year, so I want to invite my mom, dad, and brother's family for a bbq. No idea what bro has been doing with his wife's family so they may not be available. I would like to spend time with my mom. She hasn't had a kid/grandkids around on Mother's Day in a long time.

My mom called my in-laws and found out BIL and SIL and family have decided to leave town. Now she wants to invite my in-laws as BIL isn't here. I'm pretty sure my brother won't make it, and the last thing I want to do on Mother's Day is deal with MIL pushing DH's buttons and FIL not accepting that sometimes DD doesn't want to do the activities he wants to do.

Can I just have my parents over for dinner? Can I never have just my parents again on a holiday? I'm not throwing a party, just want to give mom a nice dinner and see my mom on my Mother's Day.

DH currently has no opinion. As he isn't a planner, he'll think about this much later.

Reika

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Re: Not up for changing Mother's Day
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2015, 04:48:52 PM »
Since your original invitation was for your family only, you can keep it that way. Just explain to your mom that you want it to be just them, no in-laws. :)

EllenS

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Re: Not up for changing Mother's Day
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2015, 04:51:53 PM »
Since your original invitation was for your family only, you can keep it that way. Just explain to your mom that you want it to be just them, no in-laws. :)

Agreed. "Mom, it was nice of you to think of Inlaws, but they usually do their own thing.  This is our first Mother's Day together in a long time, I want it to be just us!"

TootsNYC

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Re: Not up for changing Mother's Day
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2015, 04:54:32 PM »
I'd be having a talk w/ my mom about the relationship with the ILs, etc.

And I'd be asking her to please stop triangulating. If I wanted to invite MIL to Mother's Day, I would have. Would she please stop interfering. Maybe I'd try to phrase it more nicely than that, but it's what I would want.

Meanwhile, I'd say to my mom, "I really don't want to share you, Mom. I want us all to myself. DH is fine with it; he would like to have time with just you as well. He can see his mother at another time for Mother's Day."

I think your mom is kind of out of line to be even proposing this, pressuring you. I hope she didn't suggest any get-together to your MIL!

heartmug

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Re: Not up for changing Mother's Day
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2015, 03:24:05 PM »
Hello  :)

We're coming up on Mother's Day and so planning has begun. DH's family used to have dinner, but BIL screwed that up a few years ago and we've been on our own since. We do our own thing, see MIL if she wants, and mailed cards to my mom.

My parents moved here this year, so I want to invite my mom, dad, and brother's family for a bbq.

You could even point out that in the past you have spent Mom's Day with MIL but since this is the first year you (mom) is living close by that is why you just want her.
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.