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Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 937432 times)

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heartmug

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1050 on: December 24, 2013, 11:32:06 AM »
I'm an introvert with social anxiety.  So not only is being around people draining, contemplating being around others is possibly even more draining.  (It is amazing what a diagnosis of Social Anxiety did for me, not the least making me NOTICE that it's actually more draining for me thinking about going to socialize than the actual socialization...)

Me too.  I do things to please my kids (getting together with relatives for example) but once that nest is empty it is ME time!  P.J.s all day and movies too.

A friend recommended a book to me, that I have not read yet, and I think it is called "The Power of an Introvert" and I need to read it because my bro cannot understand why I don't think his big too-many-people parties are so much fun.
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

weeblewobble

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1051 on: December 24, 2013, 11:39:59 AM »
If they want to meet you so dang badly; why did they wait until 24 hours before the party to invite you?

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1052 on: December 24, 2013, 11:45:07 AM »
If they want to meet you so dang badly; why did they wait until 24 hours before the party to invite you?

Right! My mom told me a few weeks ago she was attending this party so she wasn't sure she'd be able to come over and see us. Which is fine, we're seeing her tomorrow. And then yesterday "Glitter must come!", no thank you. Glitter has plans involving this this lovely glass of eggnog she made.

Dindrane

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1053 on: December 24, 2013, 12:03:16 PM »
If they want to meet you so dang badly; why did they wait until 24 hours before the party to invite you?

Right! My mom told me a few weeks ago she was attending this party so she wasn't sure she'd be able to come over and see us. Which is fine, we're seeing her tomorrow. And then yesterday "Glitter must come!", no thank you. Glitter has plans involving this this lovely glass of eggnog she made.

And presumably the living room couch as well. I know my plans for the day feature the living room couch quite prominently. :)


Lady Snowdon

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1054 on: December 24, 2013, 01:44:33 PM »
I've found a hill this year, right when I thought there wasn't going to be one.

I'm not going to let anyone make me feel guilty for the size/monetary value of our Christmas gifts this year.  I just started working again after three months of unemployment - which means money to buy gifts was dang slim!  We've done the best we could, but most of the gifts we bought were under $12 in price.  I made some gifts as well, and we ended up opting out of some gift exchanges as being too pricey.  No one said anything until Sunday, when we were at a family party and said we weren't doing the draw gifts.  No less than 4 people came up to us and questioned us about it - they all said something along the lines of "How could you?  It was ONLY $15 per gift!  I can't believe you didn't bring anything!!!".  Sorry, that's $30 that we can use for gas to get to work, or for groceries, or to renew our dog's registration. 

Now I'm looking at everyone else's gifts and wondering if all of them are going to be thinking about price and such too.  :-[

gramma dishes

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1055 on: December 24, 2013, 01:49:23 PM »


...   Now I'm looking at everyone else's gifts and wondering if all of them are going to be thinking about price and such too.  :-[

If they do, that's their problem, not yours.  The amount of money spent on gifts is really not what Christmas is all about!

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1056 on: December 24, 2013, 01:56:55 PM »
...   Now I'm looking at everyone else's gifts and wondering if all of them are going to be thinking about price and such too.  :-[

If they do, that's their problem, not yours.  The amount of money spent on gifts is really not what Christmas is all about!

Here, here! And shame on them for thinking about how much something costs, and now how much love and time went in to picking out/making their gift!

cwm

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1057 on: December 24, 2013, 02:02:20 PM »
...   Now I'm looking at everyone else's gifts and wondering if all of them are going to be thinking about price and such too.  :-[

If they do, that's their problem, not yours.  The amount of money spent on gifts is really not what Christmas is all about!

Here, here! And shame on them for thinking about how much something costs, and now how much love and time went in to picking out/making their gift!

Amen! I stopped caring about how much I spent on Christmas years ago, when I was a poor college student. As long as I can make someone smile or wow them with the thought, it makes me happy.

That's why I bake cinnamon rolls for co-workers every year. Christmas Eve I bring them in, and it makes everyone's day better.

blue2000

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1058 on: December 24, 2013, 02:13:30 PM »
...   Now I'm looking at everyone else's gifts and wondering if all of them are going to be thinking about price and such too.  :-[

If they do, that's their problem, not yours.  The amount of money spent on gifts is really not what Christmas is all about!

Here, here! And shame on them for thinking about how much something costs, and now how much love and time went in to picking out/making their gift!

Amen! I stopped caring about how much I spent on Christmas years ago, when I was a poor college student. As long as I can make someone smile or wow them with the thought, it makes me happy.

That's why I bake cinnamon rolls for co-workers every year. Christmas Eve I bring them in, and it makes everyone's day better.

I worry. I know that my brothers spend about a hundred bucks a kid on each other's kids, and probably a lot more on their own. The extended relatives spend a fair bit as well (not many kids in the family - they get spoiled). They expect everyone to spend that much. I can't do that. So I look like the Grinch on Christmas morning with my little cheap gifts. :(

I can't do anything about it though. The money just isn't there.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

weeblewobble

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1059 on: December 24, 2013, 02:23:35 PM »
My family is sick.  Three of us have the flu, confirmed by tests, and are taking Tamiflu. I am the last lady standing, taking care of everybody.  It's like Apocalypse Now, but with more Kleenex.  Since DH and the kids are still in the contagious stage, until Thursday, WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE TODAY.  Which means we're missing out on the traditional gathering for DH's family tonight.  Six seniors in DH's family are considered "high risk" for flu infection.  There are two small toddlers.  And one adult just got out of the hospital with a serious infection.

We will not attend the gathering.  In any combination.  I won't go without DH and the kids.  DD (who was infected first) won't go without us since she's less likely to infect the others.  We. Will. Not. Go.

I feel really bad about it.  i keep hearing, "Oh, but everybody will be so disappointed" and "It's tradition," but not giving immuno-compromised people a potentially fatal illness is dealbreaker for me. And I hate saying no to DH's Mom, but she keeps proposing alternatives and it's stressing me out.  I love her.  And she's normally so understanding.  But if someone doesn't airlift me some Lysol and Scotch, I'm going to end up on the news.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 02:25:10 PM by weeblewobble »

gramma dishes

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1060 on: December 24, 2013, 02:26:59 PM »
They expect everyone to spend that much. I can't do that. So I look like the Grinch on Christmas morning with my little cheap gifts. :(

I can't do anything about it though. The money just isn't there.

Then they're going to have to alter their expectations! 

Don't spend money you don't have on kids who probably won't appreciate it anyway.  A small inexpensive gift is just fine and may actually be more loved because it's something the big spenders probably wouldn't have even thought of getting (or making). 
« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 02:28:38 PM by gramma dishes »

whatsanenigma

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1061 on: December 24, 2013, 02:28:07 PM »
My family is sick.  Three of us have the flu, confirmed by tests, and are taking Tamiflu. I am the last lady standing, taking care of everybody.  It's like Apocalypse Now, but with more Kleenex.  Since DH and the kids are still in the contagious stage, until Thursday, WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE TODAY.  Which means we're missing out on the traditional gathering for DH's family tonight.  Six seniors in DH's family are considered "high risk" for flu infection.  There are two small toddlers.  And one adult just got out of the hospital with a serious infection.

We will not attend the gathering.  In any combination.  I won't go without DH and the kids.  DD (who was infected first) won't go without us since she's less likely to infect the others.  We. Will. Not. Go.

I feel really bad about it.  i keep hearing, "Oh, but everybody will be so disappointed" and "It's tradition," but not giving immuno-compromised people a potentially fatal illness is dealbreaker for me. And I hate saying no to DH's Mom, but she keeps proposing alternatives and it's stressing me out.  I love her.  And she's normally so understanding.  But if someone doesn't airlift me some Lysol and Scotch, I'm going to end up on the news.

And I highly suspect that if you did go and someone else got sick, you would be criticized for going to the party even though you knew you were sick, and therefore the other person's illness was due to your selfishness anyway.

It's really hard to win in that kind of situation-good for you for sticking to your guns and staying home.

I hope you all feel better soon!

Elfmama

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1062 on: December 24, 2013, 05:42:24 PM »
My family is sick.  Three of us have the flu, confirmed by tests, and are taking Tamiflu. I am the last lady standing, taking care of everybody.  It's like Apocalypse Now, but with more Kleenex.  Since DH and the kids are still in the contagious stage, until Thursday, WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE TODAY.  Which means we're missing out on the traditional gathering for DH's family tonight.  Six seniors in DH's family are considered "high risk" for flu infection.  There are two small toddlers.  And one adult just got out of the hospital with a serious infection.

We will not attend the gathering.  In any combination.  I won't go without DH and the kids.  DD (who was infected first) won't go without us since she's less likely to infect the others.  We. Will. Not. Go.

I feel really bad about it.  i keep hearing, "Oh, but everybody will be so disappointed" and "It's tradition," but not giving immuno-compromised people a potentially fatal illness is dealbreaker for me. And I hate saying no to DH's Mom, but she keeps proposing alternatives and it's stressing me out.  I love her.  And she's normally so understanding.  But if someone doesn't airlift me some Lysol and Scotch, I'm going to end up on the news.

And I highly suspect that if you did go and someone else got sick, you would be criticized for going to the party even though you knew you were sick, and therefore the other person's illness was due to your selfishness anyway.

It's really hard to win in that kind of situation-good for you for sticking to your guns and staying home.

I hope you all feel better soon!
healing thoughts to you and yours, weeblewobble.
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Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
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Dr. F.

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1063 on: December 24, 2013, 06:06:07 PM »
I apologize for bringing up the Christmas songs again, but I was reminded of another one that is a hill for me.

The horrible "Nooooo Snooooooow" song. I have no idea what the name is. I don't care. It's a horrible song. I heard it today at the grocery as I was picking up last-minute ingredients. Man, that's a horrible song!

Have I mentioned it's horrible? WHY does anyone play this song?

Apologies to anyone who likes it, but, why?

PastryGoddess

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1064 on: December 24, 2013, 08:06:01 PM »
My hill just rose today, and I am happily sitting atop it now with a glass bottle of wine.


I will not be guilted into cooking any more food for christmas.  What started as a breakfast/brunch with extended family and xmas dinner at individual homes has now morphed into a full day event with Breakfast/brunch food in the morning and a seafood themed lunch/dinner menu for those who are planning on staying all day long.


I am bringing my brunch options, staying until noon or so and then going home.  If I stay, I'll end up in the kitchen cooking while the lazy people get drunk and complain about the food.  I have an appointment with a dry aged strip steak, lobster tail, roasted potatoes, and several bottles of wine on xmas at 5pm.  I will not break that appointment for anyone.  Especially not this family