Here's my update:
My cousin's 10 year old decided that she was too old for the kids table, as did my 16 year old cousin and her boyfriend. They went through the line first with the rest of the kids, and plopped down at the adult table, taking up 3 of the available spots. My granny apparently decided to not put the other two leaves in the table, which meant there were only 6 spots left for 12 adults. My mom, sister, sister's DH, ended up at a card table in the dining room with my niece. I ended up at the kid's table, which was thankfully moved to the living room, and as I sat down with my aunt and my son, I decided to make the best of it. "Alright!!! I get to sit at the COOL table!!!", which cracked up the little ones, and made the 10 yo look wistfully at the kids' table, which was now full. I wonder how she enjoyed the lively discussion about health insurance? The boyfriend left right after dinner, since all we were going to do was talk.
As usual, one aunt and uncle's adult children brought NOTHING to share. This aunt always brings one small bowl of coleslaw to each and every family dinner. This apparently covers the 10 of them. I brought my beer bread and spinach dip (which is being consumed by everyone, even as I uncover it, LOL), my parents brought a big casserole dish of green bean casserole, the sweet potatoes and the buns, which my sister helped make. My other aunt made two pies, a huge pan of brownies, and helped my granny cook the turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, and the corn, and another salad, plus a snack tray. I wanted to ask my cousins if they seriously thought that it was fair to never once bring a potluck contribution in the 11 & 8 years they've been married. They seriously all showed up with their kids, and ate. No cleanup help from them at all.
I did have a good time, though. The little kids thought my son was hysterically funny. He's really, really tall, and he could get his head to touch the archway between the living room and dining room by barely going up on his toes. They thought that was the funniest thing they had ever seen (ages 2-7). In fact, that's how we got my nephew to eat his turkey, instead of just buns. "Eat two more bites, and I'll do it again..." It's great having all of the little kids around again, and they adored my 17 yo son because he actually took the time to play with them (even if it consisted of them asking him for the zillionth time to touch the ceiling with his hand, or his head to the archways).
I look forward to a repeat at Christmas, although at least we'll be at my aunt's house, which is much larger (and she is, seriously, the BEST HOSTESS, and my role model!). Although, with their well going dry, we may end up hosting at my parents' house, on Christmas day. Oh well, whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!