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Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 1064513 times)

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o_gal

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2505 on: December 17, 2017, 12:52:38 PM »
My sister-in-law (who is not polite*) is not going to spend more than 1 night in my house.

There are 4 of the 7 siblings in DH's family who still live in my state. SIL3 (youngest of 3) has always had the most centrally located house, but this year she has not offered to host Christmas. There are many reason why, and I fully support her. So in order to have a "DH Family Christmas" gathering, it's probably going to be us hosting. We are in the southwest corner of the state, with SIL3 in the middle (and FIL now lives with her), and BIL3 and his family in the northeast corner. As is SIL1, who has... issues. We don't really want to invite her, but we will and will be perfectly polite with her.

Her issues mean that she may end up insisting on staying longer, but we are going to be perfectly polite and insist that they invite was only for the night following our gathering. Time to shine up our spines - both DH and I are on the same page on this. I'm hoping that she'll just decide not to come because we are specifically going to have it during the week, not the weekend. Or that she'll arrange to stay with SIL3 afterward. BIL3 and his family will probably also stay with SIL3 since their daughters are cousin-best-friends.

* The last time that SIL1 was here, she outright lied and mislead us in order to stay the night. Her ability to keep her snarky comments about us in check lasted about 2 hours, at which point I called it a night and let DH deal with her. She went to church with us the next day and was rude. So we vowed never again, but we're willing to do this only because she is still in this state and it would be awkward to not invite her. So wish us luck!

bopper

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2506 on: December 19, 2017, 09:51:39 AM »
o_gal:  One way to approach this is be upfront..."We won't be able to host you overnight so just wanted to let you know so you can make other arrangements."

Miss March

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2507 on: December 20, 2017, 07:12:35 AM »
We are having a family gathering on the 23rd. Twice I have asked if we can bring anything, to no response. I predict that the same old thing will happen- sometime late in the day on the 22nd, I will get a last minute text asking if we can bring "such and such" for the meal. This year I am not going to scramble to the grocery store before it closes and then get up early on the 23rd to prepare something last minute. I'm just going to say, "I'm sorry, but there isn't enough notice for me to make anything. I am bringing some wine."
I assume you heard the way she spoke to me at dinner.
Of course, but how does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?             --Downton Abbey

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2508 on: December 20, 2017, 07:42:18 AM »
We are having a family gathering on the 23rd. Twice I have asked if we can bring anything, to no response. I predict that the same old thing will happen- sometime late in the day on the 22nd, I will get a last minute text asking if we can bring "such and such" for the meal. This year I am not going to scramble to the grocery store before it closes and then get up early on the 23rd to prepare something last minute. I'm just going to say, "I'm sorry, but there isn't enough notice for me to make anything. I am bringing some wine."

Perfect!  People will never learn to not take advantage of you until you teach them that they can't.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2509 on: December 20, 2017, 11:09:34 AM »
We are having a family gathering on the 23rd. Twice I have asked if we can bring anything, to no response. I predict that the same old thing will happen- sometime late in the day on the 22nd, I will get a last minute text asking if we can bring "such and such" for the meal. This year I am not going to scramble to the grocery store before it closes and then get up early on the 23rd to prepare something last minute. I'm just going to say, "I'm sorry, but there isn't enough notice for me to make anything. I am bringing some wine."

Perfect!  People will never learn to not take advantage of you until you teach them that they can't.

I agree. And if they don't, well, you have wine for yourself!

rose red

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2510 on: December 20, 2017, 03:23:55 PM »
We are having a family gathering on the 23rd. Twice I have asked if we can bring anything, to no response. I predict that the same old thing will happen- sometime late in the day on the 22nd, I will get a last minute text asking if we can bring "such and such" for the meal. This year I am not going to scramble to the grocery store before it closes and then get up early on the 23rd to prepare something last minute. I'm just going to say, "I'm sorry, but there isn't enough notice for me to make anything. I am bringing some wine."

Perfect!  People will never learn to not take advantage of you until you teach them that they can't.

I agree. And if they don't, well, you have wine for yourself!

The 23rd? Bring a Festivus pole along with the wine. Perfect for the airing of grievances >:D

o_gal

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2511 on: December 23, 2017, 09:52:02 AM »
o_gal:  One way to approach this is be upfront..."We won't be able to host you overnight so just wanted to let you know so you can make other arrangements."

We would have let her stay 1 night. But only 1 night.

But the good news is that SIL3 did decide to host everyone. We offered to bring a whole bunch of BBQ and she liked that idea. I think that as long as she doesn't have to cook a huge meal, and only has to clean up and offer space, then she was more OK with having it again. So now we're off the hook, at least for this year.

Minmom3

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2512 on: December 23, 2017, 10:34:10 AM »
Oh, good!  Win-win makes people so much happier!
Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma.  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

XRogue

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2513 on: December 23, 2017, 12:05:53 PM »
I am not going to eat breakfast casserole just to be polite again. Never run into a single variety that didn't make me sick to my stomach.

jedikaiti

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2514 on: December 23, 2017, 05:19:27 PM »
What is breakfast casserole?
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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rain

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2515 on: December 23, 2017, 06:01:01 PM »
There's lots of kinds, basically eggs and other stuff baked in a casserole dish.  Try googling recipes.

(Ps, they make me sick too)
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XRogue

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2516 on: December 23, 2017, 06:20:14 PM »
What rain said, eggs, sausage, potatoes, basically some mixture of breakfast foods baked together in a casserole dish. No idea why it makes me nauseous. And I'm sorry to hear it happens with you also, rain.  :(

AngelicGamer

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2517 on: December 23, 2017, 06:25:35 PM »
If it's me, it's because the egg is not done well enough. I can take or pass depending on how well the egg is done. I never feel guilty either way because i'd rather not spend the rest of the day in the restroom.



Hillia

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2518 on: December 23, 2017, 07:20:39 PM »
Could we please not describe food that many people enjoy as nauseous?  Just say you don't like it. I don't care for sushi but I don't feel the need to explicitly describe how I feel about it.

SCAJAfamily

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2519 on: December 25, 2017, 01:52:22 PM »
Mine today is refusing to clean up all the paper, boxes, and breakfast items sitting around all over house.  I have 2 teenage boys and a husband whom I did all the shopping for, and they can clean it all up.  It will sit there until it is done.
SCAJAfamily = dd S 24, ds C 17, ds A 14, dh J and myself dw A