Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 249613 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

weeblewobble

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3341
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #660 on: November 20, 2013, 08:47:31 PM »
MIL is the one who monologued her way through her entire visit one Thanksgiving.  This year DH emailed her that we wouldn't be available on the day itself, and we invited her for dinner this past weekend.  Even though we cracked the code on managing conversational traffic flow with her, we don't want to give a holiday over to that obligation.  Better to just decide there's a day we'll spend time with her, choose it, and move on to enjoy the holiday.  Sadly, that means not including her, but her behavior made that decision.

I am so relieved I could weep.

Am I wrong in remembering that your MIL had handouts and a powerpoint presentation that accompanied the monologues?

GratefulMaria

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 568
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #661 on: November 20, 2013, 09:42:45 PM »
MIL is the one who monologued her way through her entire visit one Thanksgiving.  This year DH emailed her that we wouldn't be available on the day itself, and we invited her for dinner this past weekend.  Even though we cracked the code on managing conversational traffic flow with her, we don't want to give a holiday over to that obligation.  Better to just decide there's a day we'll spend time with her, choose it, and move on to enjoy the holiday.  Sadly, that means not including her, but her behavior made that decision.

I am so relieved I could weep.

Am I wrong in remembering that your MIL had handouts and a powerpoint presentation that accompanied the monologues?


Ssssshhhhhh!!  Yes, there were paper handouts, but she had not thought of powerpoint -- please don't tell her!

The TARDIS

  • I wanted to see the Universe so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away.
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 257
  • I'm bigger on the inside!
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #662 on: November 21, 2013, 12:05:56 AM »
Popping back in to say I will never shop on Black Friday. I tried about three years ago and I woke up at 3 in the morning for absolutely nothing. The lines were awful, the people were rude and the laptop I wanted was sold out by the time I reached the door. I order most of my gifts online now, whether they're for myself or others. It's much easier!

"Kidneys! I got new kidneys! I donít like the color..."

Miss Tickle

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 211
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #663 on: November 21, 2013, 12:08:57 AM »
I'm resurrecting this thread because I am starting to have a hill. I am the only one in my family who is single and childless so usually I am more than happy to travel wherever and be as flexible as possible with dates and events.

However, with all of the events in the month of December including three birthdays and the holidays, having people in the family who will NOT plan ahead makes me feel like I'm supposed to sit around waiting for them to make decisions for events I should (and want to) attend instead of committing to other events I also want to attend (say, with friends).

I'm starting to commit to the other events, come heck or high water, because I feel like I am usually more than accomodating and I get tired of flying-by-the-seat-of-ones-pants/last-minute plans.

So what is your hill this year?

Thanks for bringing this back.

This year my hill is - I'm not going to do it for you.

Two reasons; First, DH wants to go away for the holiday and I don't. I know how much of a pain it is to plan any trip, let alone a Christmas holiday, so if that's what he wants, that's going to be his present to me. If it matters he'll make it happen and if it doesn't? I don't care. My GM is 95. Every Christmas I get to spend with her is a blessing.

The second is at work. We do a big thing for the holidays every year, and most of the time the group "lets" me do the majority of the work. Last year after I'd finished a major section they decided to redo it because they wanted a swag rather than a swirl. So while I'm working on decorating another section the others are "fixing" a quibble. It was at that exact moment that I decided next year (meaning in less than two weeks) for decorating day, I will bring out all the decorations and leave.

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17759
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #664 on: November 21, 2013, 05:05:47 AM »


Purple comment - my mother actually did broke the cycle of oyster dressing for her family.  We live in a landlock state so oysters are $$$.  The only people in the family that liked oysters were my great grandparents (who were dead several years at this point) and great uncle (in California) who came to Thanksgiving about once every 4-6 years.  Mom refused to make it.  General hue and cry.  Then she asked her aunts and parents (my great aunties and grandparents) if they actually liked it.  Well, NO but we ALWAYS have it.  yesh.   ::)
anyone else remembering that scene in THe Gilmore Girls when luke <gasp> took the Monte Cristo sandwich off the menu? "nobody, including the three of you ever ordered it"

"But just having it there made us feel like we always could."



            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

Bethalize

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4771
    • Toxic People Survival Checklist
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #665 on: November 21, 2013, 05:27:19 AM »
Here's the game we play at extended family gatherings. It's called "Reactionary". It's got me through the last two Christmasses. Best coping strategy I've come across.

You have two teams. On one side you have the reactionaries, on the other side you have the opposition. There is usually a rough generational split, but not always.

The game is played by conversation. The opposition engages their reactionary in conversation. The opposition must be at all times unfailingly courteous. If you are rude, you lose. If you lie, you lose. If you say anything that you wouldn't want repeated or printed about you, you lose. If the reactionary suspects you are mocking or not being serious, you lose.

Examples: Uncle George declares that all orange people are lazy and disease ridden.
Good play: That's interesting, Uncle George. What brought you to that conclusion?
Foul play: I so agree, Uncle George. They totally are!

Tactics: players for the opposition may introduce new gambits with the exception of those pre-agreed upon or unsuitable for polite company.

The winner is the person with the least embarrassing parent.

And no, the reactionaries don't know that the game is afoot. If they do, you lose.


Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15937
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #666 on: November 21, 2013, 07:25:50 AM »
Popping back in to say I will never shop on Black Friday. I tried about three years ago and I woke up at 3 in the morning for absolutely nothing. The lines were awful, the people were rude and the laptop I wanted was sold out by the time I reached the door. I order most of my gifts online now, whether they're for myself or others. It's much easier!

My friend Brunhilde just finished her holiday shopping.  All online.  I will probably follow her example with the exception of stuff from the Met's gift shop.

weeblewobble

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3341
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #667 on: November 21, 2013, 08:03:28 AM »
Popping back in to say I will never shop on Black Friday. I tried about three years ago and I woke up at 3 in the morning for absolutely nothing. The lines were awful, the people were rude and the laptop I wanted was sold out by the time I reached the door. I order most of my gifts online now, whether they're for myself or others. It's much easier!


I just finished mine.  I make it a policy not to go near the mall from Nov. 20 to Jan. 1. I usually start in October and spreading it out over several months helps prevent stress build-up and ugly credit card bills.
My friend Brunhilde just finished her holiday shopping.  All online.  I will probably follow her example with the exception of stuff from the Met's gift shop.

KenveeB

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8585
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #668 on: November 21, 2013, 08:11:48 AM »
Popping back in to say I will never shop on Black Friday. I tried about three years ago and I woke up at 3 in the morning for absolutely nothing. The lines were awful, the people were rude and the laptop I wanted was sold out by the time I reached the door. I order most of my gifts online now, whether they're for myself or others. It's much easier!

My friend Brunhilde just finished her holiday shopping.  All online.  I will probably follow her example with the exception of stuff from the Met's gift shop.

I did most of my shopping online this year. They're all wrapped and sitting in a closet. I feel accomplished every time I look in it. :)  The only presents left I'm intending to look for while I'm on vacation in another week.

atirial

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2644
  • just 'plane mad
    • Tirial & Errror blog
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #669 on: November 21, 2013, 08:18:28 AM »
No guests.

Tentatively ending a cut-off does not mean certain people are invited to our house for Christmas, and self-invited guests will go straight back to cut-off. My preferred contact level is a card - not three days cooking and cleaning for people who think they own my house!

gingerzing

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 985
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #670 on: November 21, 2013, 09:44:29 AM »
Hill showed up this morning and was quickly defeated. 
DH has some local friends (let's call them Frank and Patty)  that found out that we were "not doing anything" for Thanksgiving Day*.  So Frank asked my DH if we wanted to come down to their house for T-Day.  DH is pretty sure that Patty told Frank to ask. 
Here is the deal, Frank and Patty are generally nice people. However (and you KNOW there was a however), they have two young adult daughters. 
The elder girl is really nice and just got married after finishing her bachelor's degree this summer.  She and her hubby will probably be there.  Not a big deal. 
The younger daughter is one year out of high school and is ... horrid.  Always has been.  No, there is no underlining issue (medical or otherwise).  She is just not a nice person and I have rarely ever had a civil conversation with her.  (When she was 12, she greated me by calling me Loser in front of her parents.  Her mom thought it was funny that daughter was teasing me.  :o wrong.  Other conversations have been just as bad.)   She generally acts at least 5 years younger than she really is.  Or at least an ill-behaved 10 year old.(and she is 19, I think)

Anyway, DH asked if I wanted to go.  "If you really want to, but not really."  He doesn't.  So I told him to basically tell his friend that I have plans for the day.  Thanks for the invite, but we will pass.  Wish our plans included the Doctor Who Marathon.   :-\




*Going to MIL's house on Saturday afternoon which is aplenty.

Susiqzer

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 97
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #671 on: November 21, 2013, 12:27:11 PM »
I need to make a card and keep it with me in my purse. It's big enough, and I go back for lip balm often enough anyway. Or keep an image on my phone, and make notes. This could be VERY fun, though mine would all be with the group of friends. I'm lucky enough to have gotten away from the toxic and possibly unstable side of my family.

There's got to be an app for this... off to look!

GlitterIsMyDrug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1120
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #672 on: November 21, 2013, 12:39:06 PM »
Popping back in to say I will never shop on Black Friday. I tried about three years ago and I woke up at 3 in the morning for absolutely nothing. The lines were awful, the people were rude and the laptop I wanted was sold out by the time I reached the door. I order most of my gifts online now, whether they're for myself or others. It's much easier!

I LOVE Black Friday shopping! But there on some tricks to actually enjoying it. First, you need snacks and good coffee (tea or hot chocolate can be substituted for coffee). Second, comfy shoes, comfy clothes. Third, forget the electronics, that's what everyone wants and will kill over, you'll probably get a better deal on amazon anyways so just forget about it. Fourth, go with people you can have a good time with, it's not about getting stuff, it's about having fun! Fifth, have an end time. Sixth, get a good meal, and then go home and nap.

I get a kick out of being in stores so early. I don't know why, maybe childhoods spent getting up early for garage sales and estate sales? Maybe I'm just a bit mad. I'm there for stuff that's already gonna be cheap but is extra cheap this one day.

LadyJaneinMD

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2555
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #673 on: November 21, 2013, 01:08:03 PM »
Purple comment - my mother actually did broke the cycle of oyster dressing for her family.  We live in a landlock state so oysters are $$$.  The only people in the family that liked oysters were my great grandparents (who were dead several years at this point) and great uncle (in California) who came to Thanksgiving about once every 4-6 years.  Mom refused to make it.  General hue and cry.  Then she asked her aunts and parents (my great aunties and grandparents) if they actually liked it.  Well, NO but we ALWAYS have it.  yesh.   ::)

Oh...we must be related. There was some dish or other that was "always served", but never eaten. Finally one year my grandma had enough and didn't make it. No one liked it. No one. No one even remembered why we always made it. So it disappered. Her brother said "But it's tradition! We pass it around the table and no one takes any!" so grandma got up and handed him an empty saucer plate and said "Here! Pass this around! It's the same BLEEP thing!", so we did. And we still do that. Anytime great uncle comes for dinner grandma says "Hold on! I gotta get my empty saucer" and we pass around an empty saucer. The first time it happened and Partner was there she said nothing, just passed around the saucer afterwards I asked why she said nothing and said "Babe, I know crazy when I see it. The best thing to do is to just not fight it", now we know why I'm really marrying her. The story makes her crack up though...I think we'll do the empty saucer at our Thanksgiving this year.

My family's big thing was the coleslaw.  Mom ALWAYS made coleslaw for the holiday dinner, but forgot to get it out.  Invariably, right about the time we're all stuffed and looking at each other, someone will say, 'Oh no! We forgot the coleslaw!'
So, the coleslaw always got eaten with the leftovers.  Never for the big dinner itself. 

Hillia

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4065
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #674 on: November 21, 2013, 01:14:48 PM »
I'm hoping my DS doesn't end up on his hill.  He's 20, got a decent job and a nice apartment (nothing fancy, but a step up from beer posters and milk crates - he likes things to look nice).  His dad told him last week that since he has this great apartment, he can host Thanksgiving - for his dad, his psycho stepmother, her 4 adult kids (1 drug addict with 2 kids and his current pregnant girlfriend, one burnout who might or might not be conscious, 1 single mom with 2 spoiled young teen daughters, and one somewhat normal girl with her boyfriend).  12 people in an apartment.  Psycho stepmom is prone to freaking out and throwing huge, violent, screaming fits which involve throwing food and much profanity.  DS has sworn he'll throw them out if she starts up - I hope he can manage it.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools