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Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 882775 times)

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Valentines Mommy

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #675 on: November 21, 2013, 12:36:06 PM »
To update my situation: phone calls were made last night. DH and I are exhausted but our families of origin understand that we are NOT going to visit for Thanksgiving.

We are still working on fortifying our spines as neither side is recognizing that we are not visiting for Christmas. Mom is already packed and ready for her current guilt trip. MIL is about to join her. No, no, non, jamais, nein, etc. I am not going home this year.
Time to retrain your brain.  "Home", my dear, is where you and your DH live.  Your parents/PILs house is just that, their house.

I know you are right about my mindset. But it looks like I'll be headed west for Thanksgiving anyway. It's not what you think! DH surprised me last night with a trip to Vegas! No cooking, no cleaning, and no guilt trips'

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #676 on: November 21, 2013, 12:38:09 PM »
To update my situation: phone calls were made last night. DH and I are exhausted but our families of origin understand that we are NOT going to visit for Thanksgiving.

We are still working on fortifying our spines as neither side is recognizing that we are not visiting for Christmas. Mom is already packed and ready for her current guilt trip. MIL is about to join her. No, no, non, jamais, nein, etc. I am not going home this year.
Time to retrain your brain.  "Home", my dear, is where you and your DH live.  Your parents/PILs house is just that, their house.

I know you are right about my mindset. But it looks like I'll be headed west for Thanksgiving anyway. It's not what you think! DH surprised me last night with a trip to Vegas! No cooking, no cleaning, and no guilt trips'

Buffets, gambling and booze! Sounds good to me!

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #677 on: November 21, 2013, 12:39:36 PM »
I'm hoping my DS doesn't end up on his hill.  He's 20, got a decent job and a nice apartment (nothing fancy, but a step up from beer posters and milk crates - he likes things to look nice).  His dad told him last week that since he has this great apartment, he can host Thanksgiving - for his dad, his psycho stepmother, her 4 adult kids (1 drug addict with 2 kids and his current pregnant girlfriend, one burnout who might or might not be conscious, 1 single mom with 2 spoiled young teen daughters, and one somewhat normal girl with her boyfriend).  12 people in an apartment.  Psycho stepmom is prone to freaking out and throwing huge, violent, screaming fits which involve throwing food and much profanity.  DS has sworn he'll throw them out if she starts up - I hope he can manage it.

I'm thinking DS' hill should have peaked a little sooner. Say when he was voluntold to host.

I would also recommend that DS get anything valuable out of his apartment and store it with Hilia for safe keeping, if you live close.  Any electronics smaller than a DVR; any sentimental trinkets; any money; anything small that could be pocketed and sold for cash or thrown.  And when he throws everyone out, if normal girl and her boyfriend are OK, let them stay.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

jedikaiti

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #678 on: November 21, 2013, 12:41:42 PM »
I'm hoping my DS doesn't end up on his hill.  He's 20, got a decent job and a nice apartment (nothing fancy, but a step up from beer posters and milk crates - he likes things to look nice).  His dad told him last week that since he has this great apartment, he can host Thanksgiving - for his dad, his psycho stepmother, her 4 adult kids (1 drug addict with 2 kids and his current pregnant girlfriend, one burnout who might or might not be conscious, 1 single mom with 2 spoiled young teen daughters, and one somewhat normal girl with her boyfriend).  12 people in an apartment.  Psycho stepmom is prone to freaking out and throwing huge, violent, screaming fits which involve throwing food and much profanity.  DS has sworn he'll throw them out if she starts up - I hope he can manage it.

I'm thinking DS' hill should have peaked a little sooner. Say when he was voluntold to host.

I would also recommend that DS get anything valuable out of his apartment and store it with Hilia for safe keeping, if you live close.  Any electronics smaller than a DVR; any sentimental trinkets; any money; anything small that could be pocketed and sold for cash or thrown.  And when he throws everyone out, if normal girl and her boyfriend are OK, let them stay.

And if Hillia's not handy, perhaps a good friend, or even the trunk of his car?
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

Snooks

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #679 on: November 21, 2013, 12:48:21 PM »
My friend and I should have done Bingo last year but our nightmare guests weren't over the same dates. Mine left as hers arrived.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #680 on: November 21, 2013, 01:02:48 PM »
Mine has to do with Black Friday and work.  I work PT/2nd job in retail. And when not going to my mom's for Thanksgiving, I work that week, and generally BF too. Well, this year, I  wasn;t scheduled. Don't know why, but didnt question it.

Don't you know, last night, a week after the schedule came out, i get a message saying well, they need extra people and can you work that night? Let me think. NO. Sorry. if the schedule had just come out, I probably would have, but it either was an error on their part leaving me off, or they need more staff, but either way, a week later, I HAVE PLANS. Never mind they are to simply spend all day doing things at home, they're MY plans.

I work tonight; should be interesting, eps since the online schedule has me working then!  Short of being told if you don't work, you're out, which I don't htink will happen, I'm not giving in.

blueyzca01

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #681 on: November 21, 2013, 01:05:17 PM »
Not caving to my husbandís desire to change our current plans because my SILís marital status has changed.

BG/  For the past 6 years, DH and I have not gone to his sisterís house for Christmas because it was important to her to have the morning/afternoon just for her immediate family (hubby and 2 sons).  The first year we were together, we werenít welcome until the evening.  DH (then BF) and I kind of puttered around my apartment until it was time to go to her house.  Well, Iíve decided that Iím not going to sit around my house on Christmas waiting until Iím allowed to show up somewhere sooo, during the past few years,  DH and I have either gone to Vegas or gone to my sisterís house. 

DH and my little sis get along GREAT and he even likes my nieces more than his nephews. So, thereís no issue of his not feeling comfortable with my family.

Christmas plans have been in effect since last year:  presents in the morning, then weíre going to sisterís boyfriendís parentsí house for afternoon games and dinner.  Everyone is looking forward to it. /BG

This year, my SIL has finally decided to file for divorce and suddenly is upset that weíre not going to her house for Christmas because since her hubby wonít be around, her family dynamic has changed and DH and I are suddenly wanted at her house in the morning for presents and sheís upset because we alwaaaaays go to my sisterís house.  DH has now informed me that he feels bad for her because of the divorce and wants to go there for Christmas.  I just smiled sweetly and told him that I honestly donít care where he prefers to be on Christmas dayÖ.Iím going to my sisterís and he is welcome to join us or not.  But Iím not changing my plans. 

Especially since her boys are horrible children and I have no desire to be around them for more than a couple of hours, if at all.   SIL is an awesome woman but an incredibly ineffective parent.


**edited to add that my sister lives too far away to be able to go  to both homes on the same day
« Last Edit: November 21, 2013, 01:39:31 PM by blueyzca01 »
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.

ladyknight1

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #682 on: November 21, 2013, 01:10:44 PM »
My in-laws usually go to a timeshare for Thanksgiving week and spring break. DS usually goes with them for a few days.

We found out yesterday that they have invited other relative as well. DS is 15 and other relative is an adult. The PIL have only booked a one bedroom condo, and there is a pull out sofa in the living room area. There are four people for three nights with two beds.

I think I am going to pull the plug entirely.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #683 on: November 21, 2013, 01:15:21 PM »
Don't you know, last night, a week after the schedule came out, i get a message saying well, they need extra people and can you work that night? Let me think. NO. Sorry. if the schedule had just come out, I probably would have, but it either was an error on their part leaving me off, or they need more staff, but either way, a week later, I HAVE PLANS. Never mind they are to simply spend all day doing things at home, they're MY plans.

This bolded bit, right here, I just gotta say, plans are plans! I hate when I'm planning on doing nothing much people say "Well, since you don't have any plans", no I do have plans! I have plans to lay around my house, eat, and play with my dogs. Those are plans!!! Maybe not exciting plans, but plans none the less.

jedikaiti

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #684 on: November 21, 2013, 01:28:31 PM »
My friend and I should have done Bingo last year but our nightmare guests weren't over the same dates. Mine left as hers arrived.

I suggest the use of timing devices. Declare & document a start time (something like "when first guest rings the doorbell" or, if the guests are prone to starting drama before arrival, "24 hours before anticipated arrival time"). Then keep track of when you check off each BINGO box. Then you can compare notes later, and whoever got bingo fastest, wins!
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

Editeer

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #685 on: November 21, 2013, 01:39:54 PM »

My family's big thing was the coleslaw.  Mom ALWAYS made coleslaw for the holiday dinner, but forgot to get it out.  Invariably, right about the time we're all stuffed and looking at each other, someone will say, 'Oh no! We forgot the coleslaw!'
So, the coleslaw always got eaten with the leftovers.  Never for the big dinner itself.

My grandmother had the same recipe as your mom, only she made it with string beans. She'd prepare the beans, put them in the refrigerator, and then forget to serve them. Sometime before the end of the evening, she'd say, "Oh, s***! I forgot the string beans!"
It's a really easy recipe and you can use it with any vegetable.  >:D

magicdomino

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #686 on: November 21, 2013, 01:44:52 PM »

My family's big thing was the coleslaw.  Mom ALWAYS made coleslaw for the holiday dinner, but forgot to get it out.  Invariably, right about the time we're all stuffed and looking at each other, someone will say, 'Oh no! We forgot the coleslaw!'
So, the coleslaw always got eaten with the leftovers.  Never for the big dinner itself.

My grandmother had the same recipe as your mom, only she made it with string beans. She'd prepare the beans, put them in the refrigerator, and then forget to serve them. Sometime before the end of the evening, she'd say, "Oh, s***! I forgot the string beans!"
It's a really easy recipe and you can use it with any vegetable.  >:D

And I do.  :D  There's always some side dish that gets forgotten.  Then I remember it when I'm looking at my plate, contemplating the mass of carbs, and wondering why there isn't anything green on the plate. 

siamesecat2965

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #687 on: November 21, 2013, 01:45:04 PM »
Don't you know, last night, a week after the schedule came out, i get a message saying well, they need extra people and can you work that night? Let me think. NO. Sorry. if the schedule had just come out, I probably would have, but it either was an error on their part leaving me off, or they need more staff, but either way, a week later, I HAVE PLANS. Never mind they are to simply spend all day doing things at home, they're MY plans.

This bolded bit, right here, I just gotta say, plans are plans! I hate when I'm planning on doing nothing much people say "Well, since you don't have any plans", no I do have plans! I have plans to lay around my house, eat, and play with my dogs. Those are plans!!! Maybe not exciting plans, but plans none the less.

Exactly! and I will be stressing all day, if I know I have to stop, get ready, eat dinner, etc. and go to work, not to pick up again until Sunday, as I'm working all day sat. this way I can get my stuff done, and then have some relaxing time wiht football on sunday.

Lynn2000

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #688 on: November 21, 2013, 02:29:18 PM »
I am hoping that this year, my dad will get my room at their house cleaned out enough for me to sleep in my bed. I mean, he's always managed in the past, but I understand the hoarding has been getting worse and/or the cleaning has been getting less frequent, so it's pretty bad right now. I grew up in a two-bedroom house and once I moved out, my dad took over my room to put his junk in, even though it is still acknowledged to be MY room with a lot of my stuff in it. All I ask is that when I come to their house to spend the night, I can sleep in my own bed. This only happens about three times a year now--Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It might be more if the room didn't look so horrible. Once I asked my dad if he'd cleaned out my room yet and he was like, "Not yet. You can always sleep on the sofa bed." No. I have a bedroom, I have a bed. I will be sleeping on that bed until I am outright told the room has been repurposed and the bed removed! Or I will go back to my apartment and sleep in my bed there. I am just hoping this hill never actually arrives, because it would be really horrible to insist upon leaving on a holiday, but I hope it would force him to see that he is choosing his junk over me, should this happen.  :-\
~Lynn2000

daen

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #689 on: November 21, 2013, 09:35:22 PM »
Don't you know, last night, a week after the schedule came out, i get a message saying well, they need extra people and can you work that night? Let me think. NO. Sorry. if the schedule had just come out, I probably would have, but it either was an error on their part leaving me off, or they need more staff, but either way, a week later, I HAVE PLANS. Never mind they are to simply spend all day doing things at home, they're MY plans.

This bolded bit, right here, I just gotta say, plans are plans! I hate when I'm planning on doing nothing much people say "Well, since you don't have any plans", no I do have plans! I have plans to lay around my house, eat, and play with my dogs. Those are plans!!! Maybe not exciting plans, but plans none the less.

Exactly! and I will be stressing all day, if I know I have to stop, get ready, eat dinner, etc. and go to work, not to pick up again until Sunday, as I'm working all day sat. this way I can get my stuff done, and then have some relaxing time wiht football on sunday.

Slightly off-topic, but when I have vacation time at home, I put together a rough schedule so I get the stuff done I want to do. Usually there's one "chore" and one "postponed pleasure" per day. A frequent entry on the "postponed pleasure" list is "do nothing until I'm tired of it." Obviously, this one must be done thoroughly, and it's wonderful.

Any threat to this time is countered with a firm, "I'm sorry, I already have plans."