Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 237670 times)

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JenJay

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #750 on: November 24, 2013, 09:54:39 PM »
I refuse to do a Yankee swap with family. It takes all the fun out of gift giving, and reduces the tradition to an obligation. Once more it is kind of cruel because someone is going to end up with the bad gift, or worse the gift you wanted can be taken away because of the game aspect of the swap.
I did that kind of thing at an SCA party every Xmas.  The rule was that the gift you brought had to be something that you would be happy to take home at the end of the day.  Alcohol, premium chocolates, books on some aspect of the Middle Ages/SF/Fantasy, all made appearances and tended to be gimmees.  So no one got stuck with dollar-store junk.

We've always had that rule too, but someone always breaks it and I swear we always get stuck with the junk. Literally, one year it was junk mail. Another year it was the user manual to something (a printer?). Another year it was a homemade craft decoration thing consisting of a clear glass block stuffed with white Christmas lights, half of which were burnt out. I am done spending $25 on alcohol or good movies or a restaurant gift card to get garbage!
Junk mail? Honestly? I would be highly tempted to forcibly eject that person from the game. (Assuming I could find my spine in the moment, of course, and could do so politely.)

I wish I could have but it wasn't my party and I didn't want to show how annoyed I was and ruin the fun for everyone else. That did end up being the last year that group played the game. The other group we'd just "forget" to bring a gift and bow out of the game.

*inviteseller

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #751 on: November 24, 2013, 10:12:55 PM »
Well, I now seem to have a new hill.  I no longer will invite my family for the holidays.  They obviously strung me along looking for a better offer and they are getting together instead of coming here.  I got a token invite to join them, after one member knew I bought the LARGE turkey today and it is in the fridge to thaw.  I now know where I stand..and where they will stand is outside because my welcome mat is permanently pulled inside and they will not be invited ever again.  >:( >:( >:( :'(  And of course, they can't figure out why I am upset and p***ed off.

NyaChan

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #752 on: November 24, 2013, 10:32:44 PM »
Well, I now seem to have a new hill.  I no longer will invite my family for the holidays.  They obviously strung me along looking for a better offer and they are getting together instead of coming here.  I got a token invite to join them, after one member knew I bought the LARGE turkey today and it is in the fridge to thaw.  I now know where I stand..and where they will stand is outside because my welcome mat is permanently pulled inside and they will not be invited ever again.  >:( >:( >:( :'(  And of course, they can't figure out why I am upset and p***ed off.

WHAT???? That is so messed up!  Is this with a friend or are they having a family Thanksgiving without you?

JenJay

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #753 on: November 24, 2013, 11:35:35 PM »
Well, I now seem to have a new hill.  I no longer will invite my family for the holidays.  They obviously strung me along looking for a better offer and they are getting together instead of coming here.  I got a token invite to join them, after one member knew I bought the LARGE turkey today and it is in the fridge to thaw.  I now know where I stand..and where they will stand is outside because my welcome mat is permanently pulled inside and they will not be invited ever again.  >:( >:( >:( :'(  And of course, they can't figure out why I am upset and p***ed off.

That is just rotten of them! Maybe it's not to late to gather some friends and throw the "we can't/don't want to be with relatives so we're going to a friend's house" dinner?

*inviteseller

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #754 on: November 25, 2013, 12:16:48 AM »
It is relatives going out together.  My DD's and I will eat a whopper of a meal on Thursday (and yes, I have invited a few 'strays') and on Sunday it was just planned (altho I got volunteered to cook ::) ) for my SIL (uncommunicative bro's ex), my niece, her husband and their DD my DD's and myself to have another Thanksgiving as niece and SIL both are working Thursday, altho SIL may come up after work as she just lives down the street (and we work together which is why Bro no longer speaks to me  >:( ).  My family is just all going their separate ways with my dad being gone...I guess it was too much for us to gather together to be each others rock for the first holiday without him, but boy was I wrong.  At least I know where I stand..painful as it is.  I know my dad would be disappointed

crella

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #755 on: November 25, 2013, 12:23:41 AM »
I feel for you. When my mother died I went to clean her house out, and having been out of the country so long, I completely forgot about Thanksgiving and so was staying/cleaning past it. My brother and I worked like donkeys, and never heard from our sister until the holiday was over. I took us out to a nice hotel Thanksgiving dinner and we enjoyed it, but man....I don't get back that often, it was the last Thanksgiving before the house was sold, but zip. Not even "How are you?" As soon as my mother was gone That Other Sibling disappeared. A big hug to you, *inviteseller.

JenJay

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #756 on: November 25, 2013, 12:33:12 AM »
It is relatives going out together.  My DD's and I will eat a whopper of a meal on Thursday (and yes, I have invited a few 'strays') and on Sunday it was just planned (altho I got volunteered to cook ::) ) for my SIL (uncommunicative bro's ex), my niece, her husband and their DD my DD's and myself to have another Thanksgiving as niece and SIL both are working Thursday, altho SIL may come up after work as she just lives down the street (and we work together which is why Bro no longer speaks to me  >:( ).  My family is just all going their separate ways with my dad being gone...I guess it was too much for us to gather together to be each others rock for the first holiday without him, but boy was I wrong.  At least I know where I stand..painful as it is.  I know my dad would be disappointed

Please tell us you replied "I'd love to see you Sunday. As for cooking, I'm doing that Thursday, but you're welcome to heat up leftovers." No way would I be voluntold to cook a 2nd meal after getting shafted on the first!

*inviteseller

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #757 on: November 25, 2013, 12:40:45 AM »
The ones for Sunday aren't the ones who ditched me and honestly..I love to cook and these people have been my rocks since my dad died in August so I don't mind.  The ones who ditched me?  The won't get even a left over.  They are bringing sides..I just am making the turkey and stuffing and my place is the biggest and younger DD and my great niece will have the time of their lives playing.  Even tho SIL and bro are no longer together and this is actually my step niece, these people mean more to me now than my own flesh and blood. 

JenJay

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #758 on: November 25, 2013, 01:04:00 AM »
The ones for Sunday aren't the ones who ditched me and honestly..I love to cook and these people have been my rocks since my dad died in August so I don't mind.  The ones who ditched me?  The won't get even a left over.  They are bringing sides..I just am making the turkey and stuffing and my place is the biggest and younger DD and my great niece will have the time of their lives playing.  Even tho SIL and bro are no longer together and this is actually my step niece, these people mean more to me now than my own flesh and blood.

Oh good, then you'll get two turkey days. Can't beat that!  :)

twoferrets

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #759 on: November 25, 2013, 09:55:05 AM »

My motherís hill to die on also has to do with that side of the family. She refuses to host my Cousin Mís wife. Cousin M is always allowed and invited, but his wife is banned. Now, I know some will say thatís a faux pas, you donít invite half of a social unit, but both Cousin and his wife are mentally unstable Ė diagnosed and medicated (although Wife refuses to take her meds because she believes theyíre poisoned). A few years ago, before Wife was banned, we were all having dinner together and Wife threatened Aunt R (her MIL). Physically. At the dinner table. Started to climb over the table to get at her.

She was not invited back. Cousin M. stays away, too.

Oh gosh... my mom used to host Christmas Eve *and* Christmas Day.  She and my dad decided to keep Christmas Eve to the immediate family after several years of behavior similar to the quote above.  One year, Great Aunt A started an argument with her sister V, mom's mother, about... wait for it... the fact that V told her and A's mother that A no longer believed in Santa Clause 70 YEARS EARLIER, and A therefore did not get an orange in her Christmas stocking.  It ended in tears (from several people) and when my mom left the table to calm down, Aunt A turned to V and said "Now look what you did."

You never see this stuff in Hallmark commercials!

Venus193

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #760 on: November 25, 2013, 10:28:01 AM »
I've always suspected that Norman Rockwell was delusional.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #761 on: November 25, 2013, 10:52:50 AM »
I've always suspected that Norman Rockwell was delusional.

Or smoking crack...

Hillia

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #762 on: November 25, 2013, 10:55:39 AM »
Well, DS is already showing signs of a nice shiny spine!  He's been voluntold to host his dad, stepmom, and step-sibs and their families for Thanksgiving.  That's already 12 volatile people. One sister called and asked if her friend could come also, and the other sister wanted her teenage daughters to each bring a friend.  He called me in a panic, and I gave him some nice eHell lines and a pep talk. So he sent a group text stating that he could only host immediate family; the one sister said fine, the other started whining:

Sis: But I already invited the girls' friends!
DS:  I'm sorry, you should have asked me first. I can't host them
Sis: But it's only 2 additional people!
DS: I'm sorry, I can't host them
Sis: Fine!  We just won't come!
DS: I'm sorry to hear that, we'll miss you

She finally backed down, and he scored his first moral victory.  I'm very proud of him!

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PastryGoddess

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #763 on: November 25, 2013, 11:07:55 AM »
Well, DS is already showing signs of a nice shiny spine!  He's been voluntold to host his dad, stepmom, and step-sibs and their families for Thanksgiving.  That's already 12 volatile people. One sister called and asked if her friend could come also, and the other sister wanted her teenage daughters to each bring a friend.  He called me in a panic, and I gave him some nice eHell lines and a pep talk. So he sent a group text stating that he could only host immediate family; the one sister said fine, the other started whining:

Sis: But I already invited the girls' friends!
DS:  I'm sorry, you should have asked me first. I can't host them
Sis: But it's only 2 additional people!
DS: I'm sorry, I can't host them
Sis: Fine!  We just won't come!
DS: I'm sorry to hear that, we'll miss you

She finally backed down, and he scored his first moral victory.  I'm very proud of him!

Oh my,

He gets the E-hell Shiny Spine Theme song full marching band treatment

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #764 on: November 25, 2013, 11:20:58 AM »
Well, DS is already showing signs of a nice shiny spine!  He's been voluntold to host his dad, stepmom, and step-sibs and their families for Thanksgiving.  That's already 12 volatile people. One sister called and asked if her friend could come also, and the other sister wanted her teenage daughters to each bring a friend.  He called me in a panic, and I gave him some nice eHell lines and a pep talk. So he sent a group text stating that he could only host immediate family; the one sister said fine, the other started whining:

Sis: But I already invited the girls' friends!
DS:  I'm sorry, you should have asked me first. I can't host them
Sis: But it's only 2 additional people!
DS: I'm sorry, I can't host them
Sis: Fine!  We just won't come!
DS: I'm sorry to hear that, we'll miss you

She finally backed down, and he scored his first moral victory.  I'm very proud of him!

Just warn him to have a strategy in case these uninvited people show up anyway.  Sis might be nervy enough to just bring them along.
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